I wanted to find a photo for my inaugural blog, and this is the first one I thought of. Why? Because when I think of flying, I think of challenge and adventure. (In case you don’t know it, I’m a pilot, a multi-engine, instrument, commercially rated pilot. I’ve also flown and competed in aerobatics.) So . . .
Challenge and adventure. My life has definitely been full of both.
When my life is working, when I’m learning, when I’m being engaged in a positive way I see it as adventure. And when there’s challenge . . . Well, there can be good challenge, and there can be bad challenge. My life has particularly fallen into the later category since I lost my husband, Patrick to pancreatic cancer, two years ago.
But going back to this photo – these two planes are sitting at the Daggett Airport in California, because the plane in the shadowed foreground, the one with its hatch open, lost an engine while I was flying it, and I had to make an emergency landing.
It was December 27, 2006 when Patrick and I loaded up 414PS, our beautiful, loyal twin Cessna 414, with fuel, luggage, two dogs, and took off to visit our ranch in New Mexico. I was flying left seat as pilot, and all was going well as we broke out of the clouds into a beautiful, sunny day, and continued to climb. And out of nowhere. . . I started to lose power on the right engine. Over the next few minutes, the situation continued to deteriorate and I had turned back to Van Nuys, when…
POW!!!!!! A HUGE noise came from the right engine!!! My hand was ready on the throttle, and it took me all of two seconds to completely shut the engine down.
I looked at Patrick, our eyes were wide. “I guess were landing now,” I said,
That day there was a 45-knot, almost direct crosswind as I made my approach. And as my husband liked to brag, I “greased” the landing.
Our poor crippled airplane sat for eight months while we investigated what it would take to replace its engine. It was hard, but we decided to sell the plane, and bought the sparkly King Air 200 that you see in the background of the photo – 400KW.
The day this photo was taken was my first solo flight in the new airplane. I had flown to Daggett to close up 414PS for the last time, and say good-bye (I can’t remember where Patrick was at that moment, but he hated that he couldn’t be there). It was bittersweet. We had flown 414PS, all over the country, trained intensively it, flown around spectacular thunderstorms that were the best firework shows we’ll ever see . . .
. . .and we’d argued in it, marveled in it, and always enjoyed ourselves. And now, I pulled the last of our stuff out of it: the extra charts, flashlights….and when I closed the cabin door to lock it, the dirt and grime that had accumulated over the last months crunched between the closing metal. It made me cringe, and I had to resist the urge to grab a hose and wash the whole airplane. I just hated hearing that grit on the airplane that had been so good to us and that we had taken such immaculate care of.
But I was already distracted about the flight home in the new, gleaming aircraft. It was going to be challenging; switches in different places, different systems, emergency procedures, and much bigger, and powerful. I was a bit intimidated about flying it solo. Luckily, there’s one good thing about an aircraft. – it comes with an operating manual. And I reminded myself that my hesitations would be short-lived. Soon, with experience, and some more schooling, I would know this plane as well as I knew the one I was leaving behind.
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[/frame]And so, in this photo – I am leaving my old, trusted plane, for a new and foreign one. And it’s much like what I’m facing now in my life – leaving the old one behind, and moving into the new one. One that is unknown, foreign, where nothing is where it used to be. However . . .
In my “personal” life, I didn’t have such a safe landing. I didn’t lose just one engine, I felt like I lost it all. I came down in flames, and crashed and burned when I lost Patrick. And from that wreckage I’m crawling out, still swimming in the ashes. Ahead is a new life, much like how the sparkling 400KW sits waiting in the photo. Beckoning. Challenging me. And there is fear in this new path, like in flying that new plane.
Unlike an airplane – my life doesn’t come with an operating manual. I’ve got to figure it out. By trial and error. And I have to find the strength to crawl over, and hopefully, pick myself up, walk in that door, and set myself behind the wheel.
You know, there’s a term for the most challenging flying environment you can fly, they call it “single pilot IFR.” IFR basically means you can’t see anything outside the aircraft and have to rely on your instruments inside the cockpit to fly by. “Single,” of course, means you have to do this all on your own.
So yes. I’m flying single pilot IFR these days. And doing my best to listen to my inner wisdom every chance I get. It’s the toughest learning curve I’ve ever had to face in life. And its challenge seems impossible at times. But who knows, I may come to find that I’m in the middle of my biggest adventure yet.
You are amazing even if you do not realize it. Like Patrick, we are proud of you. I guess it’s very difficult but you’re doing as a leader. I admire you. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this inspiring blog. Even in your struggle to find your way, you inspire. I love envisioning you navigating the blue skies! When I was a kid, my favorite TV show was “Sky King and Penny.” Really magical stuff for an odd kid who was looking to make sense of it all! Did you ever see it?
My father ( a handsome Leo crazy-man too!) had a Cessna and I learned a lot about adventure and fun though flight. He was a WW 2 paratrooper who jumped into D Day and did four combat jumps. And the Battle of the Bulge. No sons. 🙂 Patrick reminded me of my Dad so much. Whenever I feel really sad and miss my Dad, I listen… and I swear he shows up! And makes me laugh! It takes a while but I really believe they show up. I really believe they get a kick out of us girl-warriors! I think they want us to rock life and know that they are fine!
Just sharing my take on it all…
I’ll end by sharing my Dad’s very best advice:
“Put 50 cents in your back pocket, a spit shine on your shoes, pull up your britches and give ’em hell, kid!”
Love, M
Sometimes when I’m really feeling pitiful and sorry for myself, I can hear Patrick saying – “Stop it.”
By the way, Sky King was one of Patrick’s favorite shows.
Smile, warm heart and blue skies…. M
Dear Lisa
Just like the love of your life you are an amazing person. I jut want to wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year – spread the love – love from Denmark Mea
Thank You so much for sharing with us. We love & admire you for your strength, for you fight
to help others who are in the situation Patrick was. We miss him very much, but we have his
movies to help us. I just watched ‘Last Dance’ for the first time. All I can say is that it was very
BEAUTIFUL, so loved the dancing, it was wonderful. I have had lots of loss in my life, but I
still have my husband, but not my beautiful only daughter. Loss is different for everyone &
we need to respect how each deals with it. My love & prayers are with you always.
Yes, everyone deals with it differently. Doesn’t make it right, and doesn’t make it wrong.
I don’t know how your doing it!!! Your definitely an inspiration !! I read The Time of my life and I cried, smiled and marveled at the two of your lives! I have to admit you were the topic of conversation for many weeks following the book. How your life together was always seeking happiness and doing so together every step of the way no matter what was placed before you! The two of you are soul mates! This I do believe and I am so very sorry he had to part from you so soon! Life is so unfair and sometimes we just can’t understand……
What an amazing piece. How you’ve gone through the devestation in your life is beyond my comprehension, but you have my admiration and prayers for strength..
I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. And my journey makes me feel for all those people out there going through their own loss. I am so lucky that I have people who support and care about me. Very grateful…
Just wanted to say happy one year anniversary of starting you sunr own website. Happy flying and may the sun always shine upon your face and the wind at your back.
KOKO=Keep On Keepin’ On! This is one of the first items I read this morning and I am now inspired to face all that adventure and challenge awaiting me today with a better frame of mind. Thanks for the great illustration in words and pictures.
What a great blog! Lisa you are such an inspiration and role model to millions, and the love and support behind you is there. You are doing a great job ‘crawling out’. Take one day at a time and remember all your happy times together. I love your stories of all the times you shared and I can’t wait for your new book, I have read ‘Time of my life’ over and over again and will never get bored of it.
Well done on all your hard work with Pan Can aswell, you are a very strong person 🙂
What a great post!!! You and Patrick have been and continue to be an inspiration to millions, around the world!!! I don’t know how you do it, Lisa – but you are amazing!!!!! 🙂
Wow what a great story. Im sure when you take this plane out the patrick is sitting there with you. It must feel amazing to fly a plane. Be safe though. XX
He is most definitely my co-pilot in the cockpit on every flight.
Lisa,
I enjoyed reading your blog. The strength and courage you have shown is an inspiration. I am just your ordinary fan, but think of you and Patrick often. I read the book you and Patrick wrote The Time of your Life. I loved the book, and looking forward to reading your next book coming in January. I never thought about pancreatic cancer until Patrick. Patrick had a way to make his fans relate to him more than just as an actor. He was a unique person, and I see this in you. The work your doing to bring pancreatic cancer to the forefront continues Patrick’s fight. Thanks again for encouraging words. Pam
What a wonderful Analogy (?sp),i knew Patrick could fly,how great that you can too. You were such a wonderful,close couple, 2 halves that make the 1 whole!
So inspirational,there are not many celebrity couples like you, famous but totally comitted,loyal and honest, none of the ego games or attention seeking that usually goes on.
Patrick will be with you every step of the way, he will be so proud of you!!!
Love and light to you Lisa xx
Hello Lisa,
Thank you for your great Blog. you are amazing Woman.
My Favorite Book is Time of my Life and this book already very often read.
already make me happy on your new book.
One Last Dance is my favorite Movie.
You and Patrick are my heroes
Love and Light to you Lisa
Lisa, I love this! So wonderful to hear your stories. You are so courageous! Love you, Pam
HI Lisa,
By now I am sure you know the Raytheon 200 is one of the best planes in the sky. My brother in law lost his 200b after passing out in the left seat on approach to Carlsbad CA. the plane stayed on the autopilot course until it ran out of fuel over the pacific about 75 miles from the coast. luckily, he was encroaching in a naval exercise area, and they scrambled 2 f16s to investigate. One of the war bird pilots pulled in front of him and hit his after-burners, which brought him out of it, and he was able to successfully crash land the plane softly enough to survive. He was picked up by the navy and safely delivered home the next day. He credit’s the 200’s light touch, superior low stall speed, and overall toughness for the successful (survivable) landing.
My wife and I met you and Patrick at one of the Ansata seminar weekends in Arkansas a few years ago. We were sitting at our table when someone sat down at the table behind us and started smoking. Being non-smokers, we wrinkled our noses. I turned around to give the offenders a dirty look, and there you two where. We will always remember having a wonderful weekend sharing our mutual passion for the Arabian horse with you and your husband. We have been, and always will be loyal fans.
RT
Lisa,
Thank you for your blog. I’ve always admired Patrick. He was very talented in so many areas. The thing that really impressed me about Patrick was he wasn’t just a hero on screen, he was also a hero in real life, a very rare combination. I also admired you and Patrick as a couple. You also are a hero in real life. The video I often watch on the internet is you and Patrick dancing at the World Music Awards 1994. It is really beautiful, poetry in motion. It warms my heart every time I watch it.
Take care.
Joan
Dear Lisa,
What a wonderful blog! And your website looks great! I have great respect for you. So good that you are doing so much for Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. It’s very important to raise the awareness. My grandmother died of Pancreatic cancer when I was 7. I didn’t know much about the disease ’cause I was so young but now I know a lot more about it, thanks to you.
I have been a fan of Patrick ever since I was a little girl. One Last dance is great, great movie. You are such a good dancer, writer and actress.
When Patrick died, I cried…and I thought to myself: If I am crying because of his death, then how must Lisa feel? You were in my thoughts a lot and you still are.
You are a great inspiration to lots of people. My aunt died in the same year as Patrick..She had Crohn’s disease and got cancer as a result of that. Right now, I am supporting the foundation for liver,bowel and stomach diseases ( I hope I translated it right… )
I know it’s not easy to celebrate Christmas without the man you loved so much but I hope you will have a good Christmas.
Good luck with everything you do!
Love,
Ineke, from the Netherlands
Dear Lisa
I just found your blog – it’ s amazing! YOU are amazing! I read “The Time of My Life” and it changed my life. I can feel all the love, all the passion and all the power of Patrick and you when I’m reading it and that’s why I “have to” read it again and again… So far I wasn’t lucky enough to find the love of my life and I was about to loose the hope of ever finding it. I began to wonder, if real love only exists in my dreams… With the story of Patrick and you my hope is back again, you are the prove that real love does exist in real life and that love is worth fighting for!
I can’t wait to read your new book. I’ve lost my mother 4 years ago, she had a brain tumor and died within 3 months after the diagnosis. Even now, it sometimes feels unreal to me that she has gone and I think, I haven’t actually realized, that she never will return… I admire your way to deal with the loss of Patrick and I can only imagine, how hard it has to be without him. Keep putting one foot in front of the other is a very helpful advice! Thanks for your inspiration!
Love an hugs to you
Nicole, from Switzerland
Lisa;
What a great story. You definitely have a gift of words. Having flown with you and Patrick (Buddy) for a time in N414PS, I truly enjoyed being part of your lives for a short time. Being invited to stay in your home on numerous occasions was both a privilege and a pleasure. You made me feel right at home and I still remember Patrick making me a sandwhich for lunch. I loved Rancho Bizarro and my son still talks about your ranch in NM. It was quite an experience for him to witness some of the crazy things that your and Patricks fans do to meet you guys. Anyway, I am glad to see you have found your way back out of the “soup” as we pilots say and are now on a new flight plan that I am certain will take you to new altitudes.
Love always,
Jim Allmon
Dear Lisa,
As a PC survivor (two years now) all I can say is I am sure Patrick is looking down
and is very proud of all your accomplishments as I am!!!
Thank You for all you do.
God Bless You
Carl G. in CT
Lisa, I just discovered your new website, thanks to a link on the Swayze Buddy International Website. Wow, how impressive! Just wanted to know if you are still really close to the Swayze family. I had sent you a picture of Bud and Buddy during the 70’s in our softball team picture. Can not remember for the life of me, what year that was. Bud was my last baseball coach and was just a hoot!! He coached the women’s softball team for Davy Power Gas.
I have ordered your new book, however, being that you’re going to be at Blue Willow Books signing, I’ll definately be buying another one to have you sign, if I can get there. I would rather purchase the audio version, if you have recorded one. I love to hear the story being told by the actual voice of the author, as you and Patrick did with your book together. You are absolutely an amazing person and I pray I am able to see you in person, Jan.7th.
Thanks for all your inspiration to all of us.
I find so much comfort with you. My dad, a stoic, tough cowboy, Norwegian farmer has been fighting for over 3 months since his diagnosis. He is in hospice and there is not a damn thing I can do..
Lisa,
I was recently flying through the midwest and sitting on the ramp was N414PS with what appeared to be a new paint job….She looks great!!! I hope you are having continued fun with your King Air and wish you all the best and safe flying.
Fantastic! Glad to here she’s doing great! Loved her.
Loved your story and the fact that you remained calm and landed safely! A true pilot’s pilot! Our beautiful 421 sits at Van Nuys after declaring an emergency yesterday only 20 minutes into our flight after take-off from Burbank. I had never experienced an engine failure before, but now know what it’s like. My husband did exactly what he was trained to do and landed safely at Van Nuys. We also had our 2 daughters and our golden retriever on board. I was very proud how they stayed quiet while their Dad flew the plane. Glad to hear you’re still flying!
I am scared dear Lisa,
I have been across ” You and Patrick” so many times but never been in physical contact, on that saddest day Sept. 14 I heard on the News Patrick has past away. I went on that day in the dance studio just to try some moves I wanted to improve. I made some spins and thought gosh some is giving my the right balance. Back home my mind was on Patrick and you the way how you danced.
From there on I felt some connection, Patrick turned up in my dreams, not just about dancing, I love horse horses and owned a view.
I have to get my head arround this, but Lisa you are the most amazing Woman I have ever seen.
All the best Lisa
Oli
Solo with such a bird, congratulation !
Fly safe this wonderfull King Air
From France ,
Éric
A very old book of matches took me to the airport at Las Vegas, Nevada in an old Cessna not too long after Patrick left us. What a journey that was and when I landed there, I reflected on my dad as well as Patrick for the two days I was there. I think for those of us who are pilots and/or are related to pilots, we have special experiences in airplanes as we traveled with those we have been close to.
My father was a commercial pilot and flew airplanes extensively over the United States and eventually corporate jets into Europe and Africa. My grandparents were ranchers. I spent a lot of time as a kid around airports, airplanes, horses and out in wilderness areas. (My dad also was a WASP Advanced Instrument Instructor Pilot during WW2 at Avenger Field and trained those gutsy gals long ago.)
My father came down with cancer the second time in his life and at the age of 85, elected not to do surgery or have any treatment. My mom had recently passed away from cancer (they were both diagnosed with cancer in 10 days of each other, Thanksgiving 2004.) It was tough going through the hospice experience with my parents, and when I did this with my dad, he received his hospice care at home and I stayed with him each day. But that isn’t the real story here. During his hospice time at home, my father, in addition to having been a professional pilot for my entire life, also was an A&P Mechanic (he worked at this after WW2 due to the lack of pilot jobs) and while this 85 year old man was slowing slipping away from this world, he overhauled a 1941 Continental A-80 aircraft engine I had and was planning on installing into a 1929 plans-built Pietenpol I was building. The guy did the overhaul in his garage at his house as I helped. He was tough as nails. He finished the overhaul on October 19, 2005 which was his 96th birthday and in order to make my overhaul “legal” in the eyes of the FAA, he signed the engine logbook on my birthday, October 21, just two days after his birthday.
I never managed to finish the Pietnpol project because my gifted and talented father (the mechanical brains in our operation) was gone and I still have this engine in my barn.
After going though my father’s belongings soon after his funeral (and having to sell his house) I came across a tattered book of matches from an old restaurant in Las Vegas, NM called the Hillcrest on Grand Avenue. The matchbook looked like it was decades old. I decided to visit the place and eat there, reflecting on why my dad kept this old book of matches and as I had a bountiful breakfast the morning I was there, I realized he flew here in the 60s when the company he worked for was developing natural gas pipelines in the area. And I knew he probably stayed at the Plaza Hotel… Where I stayed the time I flew my old Cessna there in early October 2009. And as I thought about my father, I though about another Texan and fellow pilot, Patrick Swayze, who left us about a month earlier.
The next morning, I jumped in my airplane to head west to Farmington, NM another place I had been to with my dad in a Beechcraft Excalibur Twin Bonanza back in the 60s, and as I flew across the tall mountain area, just west and a tad north of Las Vegas. I saw the most wonderful and scenic mountain full of pine trees below, thinking that must be the area where Patrick and Lisa had a ranch… and I rocked my wings as a salute to bid a farewell.
I never knew the man, but I’m very close to his age and grew up in Texas and I admired the guy… Blue Skies Patrick… and I know you made one last landing in the same place as my dad…
http://www.ipernity.com/doc/305025/26009997
Sterling! What a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing your journey. There is definitely a connection in the skies. I actually get to speak about some of my (and Patrick’s) flying experiences at a charity event that provides aviation scholarships to veterans and other worthy individuals. The event is actually scheduled on the anniversary of Patrick’s death, and I can’t think of a better way of honoring him and his spirit (other than get a few planes to do a fly-by and wag their wings)!
I wag my wings as a salute on special occasions, each time I go back to Fort Stockton (Gibbs Field) where my dad taught “Yankees” during WW2, who didn’t even know how to drive cars, but the instructor cadre at Gibbs Field somehow managed to teach them how to fly airplanes, as my dad did when i was 12…
Great you are in a position to potentially launch new aviators into the skies with the charity events and it is beyond admirable to help our recent crop of veterans, especially those who have come back from Iraq and Afghanistan. I salute and rock my wings to these folks too, all of whom “rock” in my book. 🙂
Keep up the good work Lisa. You are very inspiring.My dad who was also a WASP instructor at Avenger Field would have been exceptionally proud of you as we all are.
http://www.askmeaboutmyvolt.com
Sterling “Orville” Brooks
(Just another S.O.B. in the skies 🙂
Opps… typo and clarity.
My father passed away at age 86 (about a week after my birthday)… and, I am a cancer survivor and was flying to Kennewick, Washington to see my dad’s best friend who became my uncle and who also was an Army Air Corp instructor pilot, and as I was fling back to my airstrip 5TA6 on my farm, I became suspicious of a spot that appeared on my abdomen. A few days after I landed, I had surgery to remove melanoma. I think somehow, I was very lucky to have dropped my iPhone down my shirt as I was flying back home, when I looked down inside and saw the spot, that I hadn’t noticed or paid attention to when seeing it in the mirror. I am happy I hit a pocket of turbulence that sent the iPhone out of my hand, down into my shirt.
Lisa,
My father just bought your 414 this past summer. It’s in very good hands. I read this blog post and realize how special it is to you. If you ever want to meet up with 414PS again, it is based out of Superior, WI. It is getting lots and lots of air time! Wishing you all the best in your new adventures, and if you ever want to catch up with 414PS, feel free to drop a message anytime 🙂
Cara Akervik
Thank you for letting me know!! We/I loved that plane. It flies great, and it’s good to know it’s in good hands!
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ola lisa sou brasileira e nao falo em ingles,gostaria de ler seu livro em portugues. Aqui no Brasil tem em ingles,queria m…
ola lisa sou brasileira e nao falo em ingles,gostaria de ler seu livro em portugues. Aqui no Brasil tem em ingles,queria m…
Mais
flat hello I am Brazilian and not speak in English , I want to read your book in Portuguese . Here in Brazil has in Engli…
Mais
Mudar para portuguêsFechar tela cheia
flat hello I am Brazilian and not speak in English , I want to read your book in Portuguese . Here in Brazil has in English, wanted very much in Portuguese is possible ? I wanted to ask you about what you think of remakes of films starring Patrick .
I love Patrick and I admire you , wondering if you think about doing a Patrick’s autobiographical film would be fabulous. I love you