Bluebird of Happiness
It’s been awhile since I’ve written a blog, and wanted to write one before the end of the year, but . . .what to write about?
Of course we’re smack-dab in the middle of the Holidays, and… What can I say? Someone wrote me and wished me well, knowing that the Holidays can be hard. How did he know?? It’s five and half years after losing my husband, and I still go through a week+ during the holidays where I wake up feeling that my life is in utter ruins. That it s*%ks, in fact. Oh, yes! How quaint! The holidays. I could go on about the despair that rears its ugly head again, the feeling that I am nothing, and the paralyzing depression that revisits during that time, but I really don’t want to write about all the sad stuff. Although, adding one more thing – I lost my most favorite horse in the world last week, and a best friend for over 24 years. Losing the special ones hurt. And losing the really special, special ones, really, really hurts.
Bint Bint Subhaya. My beautiful mare, both inside, and out.
Ah…
Okay, I’m better now. I just miss her. Unfortunately, those we love can’t stay with us forever / we can’t stay forever with them either. This is what happens.
Note to self: Never go through any of the holidays again without my wonderful husband, Albert (I couldn’t help feeling that it all would have been better if we had been together).
In this past year, I’ve had some losses. In addition to Bint Bint, I lost my angel dog, Lucas, and also been sadden by birthdays, and anniversaries, and blindsided by a few other unexpected items. But also, it’s been a year of so much happiness for me; I got married to a wonderful, loving man, and I’ve gotten stronger, so much so that I’m eager to get back to work that I’d abandoned for some time. It’s like the sun has come out. Life seems to offer me a hope, and a belief that’s been lacking these past years. Sometimes I am so happy I almost feel like I need to look over my shoulder. Why? Because this new happiness is so precious, and too good to be true, I’m afraid of losing it, or that someone’s going to come along and take it away! But does that stop me from feeling my joy. No way!
What a year. What a life!
Crazy, huh?
I have a widow friend, who, when I was in one of my funks this year, exclaimed, “Why are you so sad? You’re in love! You should be happy!” But, as I well know, being in love doesn’t make me fall out of love with my late husband, and it doesn’t make me immune to the pain. Nothing can erase our relationship (she knows this, by the way. She was just hoping for a way out)! You know, I’ve heard remarried widowers say “it’s different,” with their new spouses. And, that’s true. But I think that – love, real love, is not a contest. Real love can’t be compared to real love. Or be better than real love. I mean, really, ya know?
One thing I can note in this world of mine with its positive ups, and sorrowful downs, is that the “ups” are setting a new trend. In the upward direction.
We sent a pic to our family & a few close friends that nite!
I’m now in Boston, with Albert, and today is the one-year anniversary of our engagement. Christmas Eve. And while it’s been a tumultuous and difficult holidays, I realize that Albert is being instrumental in turning that sadness around for me. Suddenly, in the last couple days, Christmas is starting to become a happy occasion. And I am remembering that, one year ago, when he asked me to marry him, tears flowed as I told him that I never thought I’d be happy again. Ever. And there I was.
My wish to you this Holiday season is — Happiness –. Happiness can be a delicate thing, a new flower, waiting to be born. At any moment, it can spring into life. And I am wishing you – eyes that open to the new and beautiful day that waits for you.
Lost my dad to cancer (21-years of courageous fighting) the day after Thanksgiving. He lived with us the last three years, so the house feels empty without him. I’m finding blessings in the simple magic of the season-mourning and being gifted small doses of joy in memories long forgotten. Such a bittersweet holiday sometimes. Love the blue birds.
Thanks Lisa, a very Merry Christmas to you and all your family.
Gospel Movies: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaquj-qLMgw3bXB6mpgfOZ0HWQNz_BX4U
Christmas Music: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaquj-qLMgw1_zhQ1ePAarF3dJyG5pV3o
God So Loved The World: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLTxcIerrmaFbODU0Vpd3Pc4wm8odfqdqs
Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
John 14:15 If you love me, you will keep my commandments.
Luke 10:27 And he answered, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.
John 3:16 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzjFEMmM0Xs&list=PLaquj-qLMgw3bXB6mpgfOZ0HWQNz_BX4U
Merry Christmas,
Jimmy
Happiness is Your torch, run with it Lisa!
Hahahaha!I will keep that in mind!
Lisa I so appreciate your comment “that being in love doesn’t make me fall out of love with my late husband”. Having remarried I have struggled with those feelings for several years and beaten myself up over what I perceived as not juggling it all very well. How unforgiving this grief we bear.
Your blog gives witness to my trials and I find myself a bit more grounded. seeing them put so eloquently to words. “Happiness”…they say it’s a choice. I’ll go for that!
I have a friend that says, “Love comes from the same well.” Thank you for writing.
happy for you Lisa !!! Patrick would have wishes your where happy !!! Merry Chrystmas and Happy New Year to you and your husband xxx
Merry Christmas!
Thank you again for your inspiring message. I so yearn for my day of happiness to come. It has been 4 years the beginning of January since I lost my husband. These holidays still bring so much pain and sadness for me since they were our last days together and those were very happy days indeed.
You are so deserving of happiness after the year you have had with your additional losses.(Your horse was a beauty). Your pictures with both Patrick and Albert are perfect reflections of your happiness at different times in your life. Wishing you joy and even more happiness in 2015. I’m sure my day will come. Merry Christmas Lisa!
It’s such a hard road, and these holidays don’t make it any easier. My thoughts are with you. Hey, even though I’ve seen so much happiness this year, the holidays are still hard. Like I said, the love doesn’t go away. But it does get more manageable. XL
Thank you Lisa
Merry Christmas Lisa to you and all your family.
Happy Christmas! I love your blog, give a kind of bright light so necessary during Holidays when we are very a bit sad and in need of love, all the best, aam
Hello lisa i know that you never stop loving patrick. And l am happy that you found happines again with Albert. You are a strong women and it most be hard for you after 34 years with patrick to start over again. So many memories. I wish you all the best and merry christmas and happy new year to you and Albert love carolina
Wow Lisa that brought tears to my eyes. Tears of happiness.
I have followed your blog for years now, and have felt your ups and downs in your emotions.
It is wonderful to hear that you still have the love for your late Patrick within you, but you have found new love to carry you through the rest of your life.
Here is to wishing you and Albert all the best this holiday season and many joys for the coming year.
Thank you, Ann.
This is so amazing………I have a friend that recently lost her husband to cancer and is so very devastated and suffering right now. I suggested your book and she ordered it immediately. Bless you Lisa, she now has someone who has walked her path, expressed her pain and has survived her nightmare. She is struggling, but you threw her a lifeline. I just finished reading both your book and Patrick and your book once again, because I always can learn from you both. The embers from your fire with Patrick will never go out and will always be there to burst into flame when you need to remember and feel that love once again. But you’ve built a new fire that is burning brightly and not only sustaining you, but allowing you to flourish. I’d love to see you acting and/or directing and sharing the gifts that gave you so much joy once again.
Thank you Lisa……..and Merry Christmas!
I am so honored by the things you say. Please give my best to your friend, and tell her to hang in there. She can do it! Things will get more manageable, and she will smile one day again!!!
Thanks for the blog, once again and the picture of u and Albert. Looks like ya still have it going well between you. That’s wonderful! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year
Dearest Lisa,
How far we come in our lives through the tough and sad path is at time mind boggling to me. I feel at moments ohmywordalready>>>>> when will it only be bright with light. My Mother passed away October last year and the elders are a rarity in my family. It is weird to know I can’t call her. I know how it is for you with Patrick…really I do and I know the phone won’t ring, but your love makes me smile for you, for him and for Albert knowing ‘he gets it’…only this man was meant for your side after the years you spent with your ‘Buddy’ <3. Enjoy the ride honey 🙂 Merry Christmas to you and Albert, you powerful woman that you are. I'm so sorry about losing your gorgeous your Bint Bint.
Always my love and always my love for Patrick, he taught me much that I still hold on to in my daily day,
JoAnn
I tell you what, every time something really exciting and good happens, I still find myself reading for the phone to call Patrick! Instead, I’ve learned to just send the message to him in my mind. XXL
Dear Lisa,
Thank you for sharing parts of your life with us. And thank you for helping me understand the grief after losing a husband. My aunt lost her husband 13 years ago to a heart attack. Their kids were 9 and 15 years old. I never understood the grief and confusion that followed. I was 21 at the time and didn’t understand the love they shared after being together for 25 years. I still don’t, I still have my husband, but the thought of losing him is unbearable. My aunt was now alone with their kids, their house, animals and morgage. I heard people offer their help to her and the kids. But as time passed I also heard some of the same people saying that she should move on. She must be over it by now. And so on.
After reading your blogs I now understand my aunt so much better. She’s not “over” my uncle. He’s gone, he didn’t brake up with her! But she has learned to live without him. I’m sure she still has both good and bad days. Even this many years later.
Because of you, Lisa, I learned to understand her life without my uncle. And I tell off those who say she should be over it.
I wish you all the best, Lisa.
Merry Christmas from Denmark.
And I so appreciate what you say. Yes, lot of people don’t understand grief, and how long it can last. With widows/widowers, it’s not like we have some physical illness like cancer. We “look” fine on the outside, we function, even smile and engage, so, many think “what the big deal?” “they should be okay.” But let me tell you, if you were able to see the inside, it wouldn’t be a pretty sight! Much of the time in the first couple years, I thought I might be going mad. My thoughts and their process was actually different, so strange. Not to mention the constant pain. Thank you for writing, your point of view is very helpful.
The Holidays are very hard. I lost my youngest brother and then my only daughter within a year of each other. Both my parents are gone. This was my daughters favorite time of year, so I have very mixed feelings. I try to do things the way she wanted them and I try to be happy like she was. Don’t think I have made it yet and maybe I never will, but I try. Miss them all so much.
So sorry about your horse and dog, they are like family also. Don’t know what I would do if something happened to my dog, they are such great company. Our pets help to fill the void.
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I’ll be rooting for you , Lisa .
I have indeed passed on your message this Christmas morn when she is with her family, but so very alone. She, like you and I, has always had a strong connection with her animals, so she is fortunate that her little Jilly gives her the impetus to get up in the morning, and the comfort she needs to survive each day. We were blessed with the gift of connecting deeply with our animals…….. and cursed that their passing cuts so deeply. I just want to express how very sorry I am about your recent losses Lisa……..I know how dreadful it is.
This was beautiful Lisa. Thank you for sharing your sorrow and your joy as you do with us, your fans and Patrick’s…As you know my Dad passed from the same brutal cancer that Patrick did. My grand-daughter Daisy has had Anaplastic Astocytoma stage 3, and just had her second brain cancer surgery to remove the second tumor during a seven hour surgery on December 1st. We were all terrified this time just because she is 6 now, and more able to understand what is happening even with her Aspergers. So being able to delight in her love and the fierce joy she carries day to day with her infectious smiles and giggles, was the biggest blessing we could ever ask for. I thought of my Dad today, wishing he was there to see her and how strong she was and after we left our daughters we stopped by the store and as I got out of the car a shiny penny lay there heads up winking at me in the sun. I immediately snatched it up knowing Dad was letting me know he was thinking of me. The simple things in life bring such joy when we allow them to enter our hearts. And I see these things in your writing. Merry Christmas and hopes for a very blessed New year!
Ah! Sending my best to Daisy! She sounds like a wonderful girl!
Thank you Lisa! She is simply amazing!
Merry Christmas Lisa. Congrats on a flower that has been longing to blossom.
I just had my 11th surgery to remove more cancer from my body and am fighting this hereditary disease called VHL everyday of my life (VHL.org). I know that my positive attitude and light has been keeping me going. I share my experience with those I love and am inspired by people like you.
I see signs everywhere that although life may be somewhat cruel it is not for us to lose all hope. Life is a joy, an experience, that we all have the pleasure of sharing whether it be short or long. We make and leave lasting, heartfelt memories and inspire the living everyday.
I am in my second long-term relationship now (married for the first time) and have been blessed to have found love twice.
Life and love is a special gift. Let the little blue birds of life soar.
Thanks Lisa,
I am so very happy for you <3
Thank you, Kerry-Anne! We do have a gift here. And as you well know, hope is something we earn, but worth fighting for. Happy New Year, XL
Лиза,я восхищаюсь вами.пройти такой путь, и остаться жизнерадостной и улыбаться всем. Браво.
Hi Lisa,
I’m glad for your new blog.. Do not think you’ll say, just write us occasionally. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
These Christmas parties are always glad for some more than others, we miss those who are gone and we fear for those who are older and for those who may be missing. Always thinking that if next year we will remain together . That’s life, joys and sorrows, some leave and others are born. But you’re lucky enough to have Albert. It’s not easy to be in his place and it shows that he loves you and he wants to make you happy at all costs. And that’s what matters.
Feelings toward Pt ‘will never lose, live in your heart and mind, as with our loved ones who left.
I wish you a very merry christmas and a happy new year in the company of your husband and your family. He’s a sun and you deserve him, because you’re a great woman, great person, integrates, honest and true.
Very large and very happy hug Lisa as always. Take care dear. xx
Maite Sánchez
Merry Christmas, Maite.
my dad died over 20 yrs ago from Alzheimer’s my mother married 2 times but, she never could quit comparing them to dad. He was a great provider very hard man to love but she did. He was a hard drinker nicest man alive except for when he drank that is a hard life on the ones watching it. They separated many many times. She took care of him in the end he never went to a nursing home. She has never been happy since. I have never been widowed just divorced widow that’s hard to. I think by her comparing her husbands to my dad was a disservice to my dad. He would of wanted her to go on she has gotten bitter and very difficult to be around. The smile on your face after you married Albert tells the story get a picture of you before you remarried look at the stress in your face no sparkle in your eyes. You know the spark we see in our animals the eyes the will to live. Just because you fell in love again you are not betraying your Buddy what an appropriate name for him he was your Buddy your running around Buddy working Buddy. A hard to love Buddy. He had demons just as we all do but he was a good person, kindhearted and he worshiped that is a hard love to replace think of how much you have grown and how many people you will help.
You went as far as you could go with him till death do you part. You now have to go on you have to live for him remember what he told Barbera Walters I am living man I am not chasing after a cure I am chasing life the love of life he had we should all live our lives like that. Patrick Swayze was one of a kind. Albert, will take care of you and protect you but most of all he has kind eyes. God bless you.
“Chase the love of life.” I love that. That seems like a worthy endeavor.
Thanks, L
Chasing the love of life is a job in itself. I have late stage Lyme disease after years of antibiotics I am not cureable treatable so that is my motto chase the love of life. Like Patrick said I am not out here chasing a cure. You and he started out so young through the years after his death if I am not mistaken you grown into a more confident person and your purpose is pancreatic cancer cure what a project that needed to be brought into the light. I can not imagine the fear of getting remarried I would rather bunje jump off the Grand Canyon I have picked twice once was an abusive person the second is a rare jewel so I would be scared to pick again. Chase life Lisa, I know there are a lot of negative energy that comes your way be happy that’s the best pay backs. Good luck, many happy years to you and Albert.
Thanks, Karen.
Ps. I got a laugh out the “rather bungie jump off the Grand Canyon!” Hah!
Happy New year Lisa. January 24th is my one year since my husband died. These first holidays without him were beyond painful. (The falling to your knees and crying out to Heaven from your soul kind of painful.) The memories of how much he suffered with his pancreatic cancer last year come flooding back.
But my pastor said, “Life’s journey consists of good and bad times.” She says we have to enjoy the good as much as we super through the bad.
I’m writing a book about my journey to help other gay couples and I hope one day it inspires people the way you and your story have inspired me.
God bless you Lisa. I wish you more good than bad in 2015.
Gary
I am so glad you are sharing your story. And yes, when I’ve been suffering with grief, I know that it is the high price I’m paying for loving. And would I go through it all again to love that person? My answer always…yes.
Ps. Congratulations for getting through the holidays. Almost impossible at times, huh? But you made it through this one!
Spouse spent Christmas in the hospital after turning yellow and complaining of gut discomfort & being unable to eat. Bsetween Christmas and New Year, we learned it was pancreatic cancer. The emotional pain, fear, and an utter sense of hopelessness now grips our household. When so many die of this, and there is so little innovative treatment and no one cares (certainly not researchers or the NCI), what hope is there really? We are now looking to try to move to a state where euthanasia is legal (currently only OR, WA, and VT). It’s a tragedy that people with this form of cancer are left with so little hope and so few options.
…and to make matters worse, we had just lost our sweet beagle of 14 yrs (had her since a pup) right before Thanksgiving! Holidays will forever be a big, black, cloud for me.
I have just finished reading your amazing book Lisa and googled to see what you were up to now and was surprised to find your blog.
I am so pleased that you have found happiness again. You deserve it. I wish you all the best for the future.
Kind regards
Rowena
Dear Lisa,
I feel this extraordinary need today, after a month of going through all Patrick Swayze, movies, interviews available online, news items,etc; to communicate with you and to you about the strange bond that I feel I share with him and you. I write to you from India, a land which Patrick had visited once to film ‘City of Joy’and I am so happy that he had touched this part of the planet, when I was very much a part of it, although too young to know, understand and anticipate that connection, which now I feel so overwhelmingly & completely. Maybe this connection has something to do with my personal struggle to cope up with the dread of the possibility of losing someone very precious to me to cancer( blood). I have gone through the excerpt of yours and Patrick’s books which I have already placed the order for purchase online. I feel after knowing the least bit about the amazing man & beautiful person that Patrick Swayze was, would make me a better human being, a stronger human being in life. I am quite simply touched by the closeness and bond of love that both of you shared with your horses & dogs. I have a Labrador whose name is Bruno and he is this god’s gift to me, one of the three important pillars of my life.Though I am very late in paying my tributes to him; his wonderful gifts, talents courage, passion & resilience. I know that I am not late in paying my regards to you, your grace under pressure and ‘across the time love’ that you have for him. I wish you all the best in this new journey of yours. Take care
Love
Sweety.
Hi Lisa, I’m so happy for you. Wishing you much happiness with Albert. God Bless
Dear Miss Niemi,
The last several years have brought many changes and loss to you and countless others. After reading some of your postings, just want to say Thank You for sharing such deep and personal thoughts. God has blessed my husband and I with 37 years together but we have each lost a parent and all of our grandparents. The holidays always bring lots of good memories of times past but sadness is never far behind. The dignity and grace you have exhibited these last several years are an inspiration to me, Even the last interviews with you and Patrick were so gracious. Congratulations on finding love again; wish you love and happiness together for the rest of your lives.
I just ordered your book “Worth Fighting For…….” and look forward to reading it. My father died when he was 60 (20 yrs ago) and I will be 59 in July. Last summer my mother fell ill but she made a full recovery. All of these things certainly bring a sense of mortality to all of us. It is my hope that I would handle myself as gracious as you have.
Then reading your blog about downsizing. Best wishes in your process. So very glad though that you are able to keep your ranch in New Mexico. What a blessing and safe haven to cherish.
Unfortunately we lost our custom log home in the housing crash of 2008 and my husband’s job change. Most of our things are all in storage as we try to figure out our future. Downsizing has been on my mind but where to start? There are so many sentimental items handed down through the family plus all of the things we have accumulated. Wish I had the courage to just get it done like you and so many of your other posts have mentioned.
Forgive the long post, again, Thank you for sharing and giving us all encouragement and hope even in your darkest hour(s). May God richly bless you today and always.
FYI my husband’s name is Patrick; maybe that’s why I feel such a kindred connection with you. My Patrick is one of a kind too. We fell in love at 1st sight and married 3 months later, he truly is my soul mate and I would be lost without him.
I am gonna through a difficult period at this moment as my beloved Rhodesian Ridgeback has cancer and I feel nearing the end of his journey in this world with me, I knew you and Patrick kept ridgebacks, and in reading one of your books I remembered how Patrick suffered with the loss of one of your dogs. I have always thought you have incredible strength , so visited your blog for some comfort at this difficult time, only to find you have lost one of your horses and dogs, and still you fight on through, how? Why does it hurt so much.? I lost my Dad at 53 to motor neurone disease, so I have survived pain before, but with my dog Brogan it feels so much more intense, and it’s slowly taking my inner spirit. You are one incredibly brave strong woman Lisa.
My husband has stage 2B pancreatic cancer. I’m scared out of my mind. My 11 year old daughter is having a hard time dealing with her dads diagnosis. I’m glad that I found your site. It makes me feel a little less alone. Thank you for sharing.
I am the director and co-founder of country music star Martina McBride’s charity team. I am moved by reading your blog. Our team goes out on tour with Martina around the country… We visit cancer centers, homeless shelters, soup kitchens. Every year at Christmas time, Martina & her fans visit cancer centers to bring gifts & sit with patients during chemo. If you like, read up on us or join us at http://www.TeamMartina.com and http://www.facebook.com/TeamMartina
Our blog is http://teammartina11.tumblr.com/
Thanks for all your efforts to inform people, love others through cancer and for all the work that goes into your blog.
Hi Lisa
We miss your blogs! Please don’t stop them.
I’m missing them, too! Hoping to post again soon!
Hi Lisa
We miss your blogs! Please don’t stop them.
Hi Lisa, love the pic you posted of Parick for St Pats. Epitomizes everything I remember about Patrick: handsome, beautiful smile, great physique and very genuine..down to earth! Just a random thought…thinking about your book cover “Worth fighting”was that Bint Bint on the cover? I feel sad …didn’t he recently pass?
You’ve lost many great loves : Patrick , Roh (cant seem to think of Patrick without him), Bint bint, forgot the name of the beautiful large poodle type dog (Cody) and your cat. You are a strong and classy lady and an inspiration to many. Keep strong and be happy. Love and rainbows sent your way to you &Albert.
Fondly, Nadine
Just remembered…Lucas …that’s it isn’t it??
Took me long enough, huh? In case you’re still wondering – Yes, my darling Lucas.
Thank you for sharing from your heart. I just watched a video of you and Patrick dancing together back in 1994… as a dancer and as someone who lost her father to pancreatic cancer last year, I send you all my love and wish you so much happiness in the future.
I know it’s been a while since you posted this, but, thanks for your lovely message. I’m wishing you the same.
Dear Lisa,
I am a caregiver to my 41 year old husband, diagnosed with stage III pancreatic cancer back in June 2014. All I can say is that until I read your book, I truly felt alone. Thank you for being a voice for all caregivers. It is the worst job in the world but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but beside him, holding his hand and walking with him in the battle.
Maria
Toronto, Canada
I understand what you say. Thank you. It’s been a few months since you posted. I hope treatment is going well.
My very best, L
Hi Lisa
First of all I’ m sorry for my poor English I hope you’ll read my message.you can’t even imagine happy I am because have the chance to write to you..the person Patrick loved most in his life.I don’t know why but in these past days I have spent much time watching videos about your husband and you on youtube.I knew Patrick was am Amazing person but Ihaven’t no idea about how Amazing person you are!!!I’m one of that girl who immediately fell in love with Patrick after watching Dirty Dancing!I was 17 and I even remember the day I went to the cinema:14th February 1988!I still remember when one day I was cooking,the tv was on but I wasn’t listening to it..suddenly I heard Patrick Swayze is dying of cancer..I turned and saw his last pictures ..it was a shock..how possible I said!!how can a man like him die!! I used to see Always his movies when they are on tv but it started to be sad ..then I started to think about you who had spent all your life with him..this made me feel very sad..I lost my father because cancer when I was 20 and I still miss him now that I’m43,he was not with me qhen I Got my degree(he was so proud of My stuies),he was not with me when I Got married ,I wasm’t with me when I had my children..the hole..And now I live Always fearing to loose the People I love.but I’m following one of your advice:appreciate what you have-say People that you love them-I love you is never wasted!I feel better now..I really hope you’ll read my words because I want you to know that now I Know the reason why Patrick loved you so much! And I want to tell you that I’m very happy you have found another love!kisses from Italy
When something really good happens, I still want to pick up the phone and tell Patrick about it. And, of course, I remember that I can’t… But, I still hear his voice inside my head, commenting on something, giving me advise, making a joke…! I still have a relationship with him, the same way you still have a relationship with your father. It’s just . . .different. XXL
Thank you so much lisa! My heart is full of joy because you replied to my message!this made me cry! Really! You right …they are still with us but in a different way!
I forgot…when you write those wonferful words about the world of oz ,the desire to escape and come back home to your life,those confusing feelings about the opportunity to be happy again I remind you the words your Patrick said during the interview with Barbara Walters:she asked to you”have you prospected a life without him?” It was a very hard question to answer..It took you some seconds to find the words and you was about to cry..in that moment while you were trying to find the strengh enough to answrr Patrick said:”she will be fine”.that’s the answer..he wanted you yo be fine!tha’s means to be happy again.He will Always be in tour heart mind and soul
.but let your new husband love you..you deserve it! A big Kiss..Iwish I could meet you one day !
Hi Lisa
We miss your blogs! Please don’t stop them.
Dear Lisa,
I was so pleased to see that you have found love again and I have found a way to congratulate you on your wedding through this blog. So sad too to hear you have lost Bint Bint. Big hug for you Lisa.x
Hi Lisa
We miss your blogs! Please don’t stop them
Hello Lisa, I have loved your husband and I have loved you too ! I read two times your two books and I really fell in love with you two. Your story is like an artpiece, it’s universal and it’s why it’s so heartbreaking, so sensitive,so funny too . Your story ring a lot of bells for me; same generation, I have been married for forty three now, I worked with my husband all my career and we knew cancer too but it was mine, an ovary cancer at forty five years old. so I understand you so much….. I love your locations too, we are lover of South west America and we have a trip in every year ( I’m french ) and our usual joke is ” when I win lottery, I’ll buy a ranch in New Mexico ” ! and you have it ! I imagine it’s wonderful ! I understand your difficulties to organise your life now. You have to get rid of your memories to go ahead and it’s not a choice but a need but I learn, in your book you are a strong lady and I really wish you the best , you deserve a beautiful life. I wanted and I needed to tell you all this but excuse my bad English.
Your English is great, and thank you for writing!
Wow …. found your sight totally by accident, we have a weekend cabin on Mineral Hill and I was Googling to try and find your home. I lost my mother to pancreatic cancer in 2006, so followed Patrick’s story for a while when it was in the news. Mom was also one of those amazingly wonderful and generous people others felt blessed to know. Now I volunteer with the Pancreatic Cancer Network and for Polly’s Run (an annual 5K in Albuquerque to raise funds for http://www.pancan.org, it’s this coming Saturday, as a matter of fact!). Thank you for your eloquent and honest writings, I look forward to reading your books. God bless.
We miss your blogs. xx
Hi lisa I wondered if you were going to write a new book about your loss and how you coped with your beautiful blogs which have helped so many people.
Also it would be lovely to see more pics with your lovely man Albert, as I believe he has become your rock, as he loves you and understands that Patrick will always be in your life, he seems to be a great guy and if you wrote another book with how you met and how your feelings were I assure you many of us blog readers would love to read your story of finding love and support through your blogs and in a book I think it would also help many people as your wonderful blogs have. love sent to you and Albert be happy and enjoy your new adventures with each other God Bless love Julie xx
Dear Lisa,
I see that you posted my message to you (May 26th and June 8th)
I didn’t mean to offend you in any way, it was probably just a silly dream.
Could you please remove the messages? I feel kind of embarrassed about it.
Much love to you,
Dara
There’s no problem, Dara. But I’ve removed the messages as you ask.
Thank you Lisa, and It gives me happiness that you know your true self.