Lisa Niemi Swayze

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You are here: Home / Uncategorized / HILARIOUS! WORST FIRST DATE EVER

HILARIOUS! WORST FIRST DATE EVER

April 16, 2012 By Lisa 23 Comments

 I got a laugh out of this story, and hope that you will, too. And while I can’t confirm that it really happened, or not, the one thing I can say for this tale – it presents a sure-fire way to “break the ice”.  And it’s worth repeating!

snowy road 6

I imagine that this story takes place on a COLD road, like this.

If you didn’t see this on the Tonight show, I hope you’re sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date, or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter…Snowing and quite cold… and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City , Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point here she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem, due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about’ what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got

the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down’. And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno’s comment…’This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.’

Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

grin

 

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Comments

  1. Lindsay Luckadoo says

    April 16, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    That was HILARIOUS!!! I will definitely be repeating this one! Thanks for sharing, Lisa! XX

    Reply
  2. Julie Clements says

    April 16, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    Hi Lisa
    Just loved the story what a blind date, it had me laughing just could picture this scene so easily, its a real force ten belly laugh, thanks for sharing this made my day.
    lots of love God bless you Lisa love julie xxox

    Reply
  3. Nadine Wood says

    April 17, 2012 at 12:26 am

    That was a good one. You really can’t make this stuff up, priceless yet extremely embarassing. Yet it must have been true love. I would have been humiliated, but it just goes to show… Love blooms in strange situations, great story to tell grandkids. The moral of the story, no lattes on long trips, go thirsty, better safe than sorry…she coulda had bigger problems. Glad to see you smile again. Rainbows to you. Nadine

    Reply
  4. Cherrylmaree says

    April 17, 2012 at 1:08 am

    THAT is how REAL people fall in love….a great story!!!!
    Here’s one on me….For years I had problems with my ability to ‘hold on’…..my husband and I had to make an unexpected trip of several hours..usually, I could prepare for this type of thing with restricting fluid….we were just over an hour into the trip when I started having trouble, it was drizzling rain and my husband assured me that we only had 10 minutes to go to the nearest restroom stop…he hurried while I tried to ‘hold on’….couldn’t….I found a spot just off the road in some bushes but wasn’t able to relieve myself..a past car accident made it impossible for me to ‘squat’..so here I was..stuck, in pain,pants down around my ankles, in tears , in the rain!! I looked over at the car to see my wonderful husband standing at the back of the car – with the boot/trunk up, soaking wet, pretending to be busy so passing drivers would not notice me…..I will never forget the surge of love I felt……took 2 doctors and 3 surgeries to sort me out…I still have to be careful but life is good.

    Reply
    • Lisa says

      April 17, 2012 at 3:13 am

      What a great story! L

      Reply
      • Melanie says

        April 17, 2012 at 6:34 am

        Yes it is really funny! Thank you for sharing. During reading I’ve wondered if they are married today because after such an happening they just must :-). Such happenings bind together in the true sense of the word 🙂

        Best regards from Germany

        Reply
  5. Marcela says

    April 17, 2012 at 6:08 am

    Lisa this is so hilarious!Thank you for sharing it 😀

    Reply
  6. Lorna watt says

    April 17, 2012 at 7:16 am

    Hey Lisa, that was hilarious, she found a good man there. If that had been my husband he would have got stage fright and wouldn’t have been able to pee a drop.
    Lorna . Xx

    Reply
  7. Corine says

    April 17, 2012 at 7:16 am

    Very very funny situation! It reminds me of my adventure. In my town, once per year, it disguises itself and it will intrigue people undisguised in order to get a drink. You imagined the number of drunk glass of an evening. Upon return, my bladder no longer holds. So, again, as I no longer restrain myself, I peed between the car in a parking lot. Once you’re busy, there is no way to stop it. And my wonderful friend had the great idea to turn his lights on me! The situation is very embarrassing especially when his pants up!

    Reply
  8. Joanna Kontos Evans says

    April 17, 2012 at 7:33 am

    Good morning!
    Well I certainly can’t top the story above but can totally relate to it… My husband and I were driving back from my best friends house which was a two hour drive at least when that ‘ole familiar feeling struck! Unfortunately for me we got stuck in the most horrendous traffic jam and there was NO hard shoulder to pull up on!! So what is a girl to do… Hmmm… Well I knew I couldn’t hold on, so looked at my husband and then we both looked at the only possible resolution, yes it had to be my handbag… So whilst keeping my legs firmly crossed I emptied the contents of my bag, and somehow managed to squat over it in the passenger seat to erm do the business so to speak and my poor husband was trying desperately to block the view from his side window to try and give me a little dignity… Now if that’s not love, I am not sure what is!!! Oh and in case you were wondering about the bag, well it had to be very swiftly disposed of… Hope this brought a smile to your face Lisa ;o) Much love as always Joanna xxx

    Reply
  9. kelly says

    April 17, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Ha ha brilliant !!

    Reply
  10. Simone Donhauser says

    April 17, 2012 at 3:08 pm

    Hello Lisa,
    Thank you for the beautiful story
    Love and Light
    Simone

    Reply
  11. Brenda says

    April 17, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    Oh Gosh…thanks to all of you for your stories. It’s been a really bad couple of days, and that’s the first smile I’ve put on in quite some time.

    Thanks again!

    Reply
  12. Ineke says

    April 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    Haha funny story! Thank you for sharing!
    It reminds me of the Friends episode where Monica gets stung by a jellyfish and Joey knows that peeing on the sting takes the pain away but he gets ‘stage fright’ so Chandler has to do it…

    Again..thanks for sharing this story with a hapPEE ending

    Xxx

    Reply
  13. Karen Backus says

    April 18, 2012 at 12:31 am

    Thank you SO much for a much-needed laugh!! Kind of hard to get that “picture” out of my mind!! 🙂

    Reply
  14. Anna says

    April 18, 2012 at 1:02 pm

    Hi Lisa,
    Talk about a stark contrast of emotion in reading this story, to what I just experienced watching your honest and open “Today Tonight” interview on Feb 29. What a sincere, wonderful woman you are !
    May I comment on that interview …..
    Thank you for articulating so brilliantly every sentiment I, too, feel on losing my special husband to the same insidious disease four years ago.
    And yes, my husband visits me in my dreams also and he, too, was present just a couple of days after his passing. What an amazing experience that was !
    It is so very evident that you and Patrick shared an extremely special relationship and I am so very sorry for your pain and for your loss.
    You are both so very inspirational and I am very much looking forward to reading “Worth Fighting For”…. such an apt title. Thank you !
    And going back to this hilarious story …… it is truly a classic ! … a skit should be made !
    Warm regards from Australia !
    Anna

    Reply
  15. Julie Clements says

    April 24, 2012 at 2:08 am

    Hi Lisa
    Hope you had great time at the musicial, and you didnt get too upset. My friend said the show is beautifully done she saw it in London.You look terriffic in your lovely dress you are a lovely lady you take care, you look as if you are taking those baby steps nice and steady so just take it easy be kind to yourself dont worry we all send love and support to you, and you are doing some wonderful things with your charity work and fund raising I really admire your get up and go you are a great inspiration to all.
    Take care God bless and love to you julie xxox

    Reply
    • Lisa says

      April 24, 2012 at 6:12 pm

      I really liked the show, the special effect, and design are awesome. I hear this production in NY is even better than London’s. And last night it was so great seeing some old friends, too, like Ghost film writer Bruce Joel Rubin, and wonderful director, Jerry Zucker.

      Reply
  16. Judy says

    April 27, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    Hey Lisa…I read this story and almost can imagine that happening myself.. LOL..Thanks for Sharing… : )

    Reply
    • Lisa says

      April 27, 2012 at 10:45 pm

      I think I’ll read this story again, just so I can get another good laugh today!

      Reply
  17. Sandra says

    May 3, 2012 at 1:51 pm

    Dear Lisa,

    Could you please be so kind to remove this ‘comment’ I made? I keep coming back here and I feel SO uncomfortable about it. I know probably nobody looks at it and it’s nothing, but still…I feel embarrassed about it..

    Thanks!

    Reply
    • Lisa says

      May 3, 2012 at 3:12 pm

      No problem, I’ll get someone on it. By the way, I thought it was pretty funny!

      Reply
  18. Jessica says

    June 26, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    That was hilarious Lisa! Even though the date didn’t go so well it’s nice that it turned out well in the future! xxx

    Reply

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