I’m thinking that I should talk about the holidays, but what I’m more interested in is – the Mayan Calendar, and the fact that this 5,125 year-old calendar has just come to an end!
There are people that thought the world might come to an end as this ancient calendar finished. And I have to say, for me personally, my life had threatened an upheaval of an apocalyptic nature for most of the week leading up this calendar’s end. Hmm, basically I’ve wanted to take a match and torch my house, and pretty much all of my life. Burn it all to the ground. Yeah, something like that.
And well, yes. I guess I’m ending up talking about the holidays after all.
Somehow I thought it wasn’t going to be a problem this year. I’d been feeling pretty darn good. Things have been different, I have good people in my life, and I’ve even made progress in moving some difficult things forward. I felt so good I even made elaborate plans to see family in another state.
But it was not to be.
“Why am I feeling so sad???” I found myself suddenly feeling inexplicably depressed. It was days before I realized – the Holidays!! Arggh!! By that time I had already plummeted far, far down into terrible and sad feelings. I was blind-sided by grief, one that was made even more terrible by the horrible suffering I knew the families of the Sandy Elementary School shooting must be going through. And as I was sobbing on the phone with a friend one night about how much I hate my life and want to throw it all away, I assured him that in a day, or two I would feel better. I knew from past experience that at, at some point –
This too shall pass.
And it did! And I started to feel better, right as we were moving towards December 21st and the end of the Mayan Calendar.
Whereas some people feared an apocalypse at the end of the Mayan Calendar (or, a “Mayan Mayhem” as I liked to call it), I saw it as opportunity. As with all writings and spiritual cards/signs of death and destruction, their meanings point to the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one. Death and rebirth. And the possibility of new beginnings.
For me, I felt like I was finally getting this year out of the way (something I’ve really been looking forward to). I had made some huge and difficult strides this past year in regards to reorganizing my life. I knuckled down with the thought that my hard work will pay off, and make things easier for me in the next year. And just like the Mayan Calendar finally ending, I, too, get to start with a clean slate!
It’s not that I have the New Year mapped out ahead of me, but I do feel that I’m not carrying the same baggage moving forward. I like it! My load is lightened! And there are new possibilities in the ease in which I accomplish things, in relationships, and career. I say ease – because nothing can be as hard as some of the things I faced in the last year. Relationships – because of better timing, and schedules. And career, not because I’ll be doing such different things, but because – I am so different.
I’ve been learning, and sometimes it’s been in the “School of Hard Knocks,” but I have been learning, and I am stronger.
I’ve spent so much time these past few years since my husband’s death just learning how to walk again, that now I feel that I’m actually ready now to move to some more advanced maneuvers! I also know from this past year that I can feel some joy again. And if I felt that this past year, it means I can feel more of it in the next.
So, death of an old year, and the birth of a new one, with a new me. I’ll hold on to that thought as I ride into the next year.
And so, as far as the Mayan Calendar goes:
I begin anew.
And each, and every day.
With heartache & growing pains, I’m reminded once again
To begin we have to end.
Everything you say…holds me breathless! Happy New Year…Mayan mover!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Louise Young says
Your books inspire me to be a better person. They remind me to be brave. You are amazing.
Lanny Smith says
Well written, well said, Lisa!
As a fan, I can only IMAGINE what you’re going through. You and Patrick are more than stars—you are two souls temporarily separated by a great, cosmic divide.
Please keep reaching out like you’re doing, embrace new opportunities (like you’re doing), be a blessing to others (as I’m sure you are) and the Peace which surpasses all understanding will return to you! God Bless You!
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you, L
I have tears reading this….all the very best in the New Year….Lanny Smith you are spot on….
Lanny Smith says
Hi Donna, thanks for the note! Please know that you are loved and blessed—whether you know it or not. We all have to run our race, regardless of who we are or where we live. We all will face a tragedy at least once in our lives. I hope I can be more helpful to the person who was directly affected, rather than myself (because it will be THEN that I know my pain will subside and my HEALING will begin)! Best Always, Lanny
My spiritual friends and I discussed the Mayan calendar and the date 21st dec, prior to this day, a few weeks actually, I had to let go of some many things I had been carrying around with me, u may have read my comments on your fb page. I cried and cried and all the feelings and negative energies I had bn carrying since the death of my brother had to be released. I meditated all let that negative energy flow and rebalanced my self. My god I feel like a new person with a new lease of life. I am happier and have moved forward, looking forward to the new year, new energies and new beginnings. I have my memories and I know my angels and my brother and other family members who have past walk along side me and watch me. 🙂 Dx
All is suppose to say and- above – where it reads let that negative energy flow and, and is suppose to read to rebalance myself! It’s my phone!!
William Rogers Black says
It’s true it seems as though at times that something terrible happens so that good can come. We don’t always have to have the understanding on all things and with perseverance we press on for we hope the better. I appreciate your communication skills you are gifted in this way. Yes best wishes to you for a happy new year.
William Rogers Blacki
And you, too, William!
A lesson for us all, once again…well written and insightful..thank you Lisa. May the coming year bring you joy and peace of mind. I look forward to hearing about your adventures. Love the pictures you included this time, especially your own. Hugs Cherrylm.
Joan Knight says
Mayan Calender or not, my life as I knew it ended for years ago, I guess, maybe, for every stride in progress hasn’t come easy and it has been when I expected it. I’m sure you all feel the same, I know you do. I read, re-read, read some more and try to think how you all know me so well, cause I know none of you. Then I realize we have a common bond, maybe, several, and even though, situations, people, places are all different we are all feeling the same things and tryin’ to find the same answers on how to move on, how to face another day without them .
We make a strong foundation in our attempt and for me when I think I’ve got something mastered and I’m ready to move on, something else gets in the way. what I have learned is that, I am alone, but I am not alone. I can get on this sight and read about you and me, know that I’ve been there, done that probably will happen again, but damn if I made it once I can make it again. I can think the craziest thoughts but I don’t have to act on them. For a year, I went around telling people, “Well, I haven’t done much but I got rid of his clothes.” I was cleanin’ under the bed a year later and what did I find. The clothes I got rid of, and then they set for another 6 mos and i gave them away. As I learn that the stuff is just stuff, the real thing is the memories I carry in my heart it makes it a little easier to get rid of the stuff and keep the memories. But, no one has felt anything different than I’ve felt , I have even learned somethings to look out for, but in the end if I don’t stand up for me , and know, direct and be responsible for my new life, I won’t have a life at all. That scares me, because it doesn’t honor my Bud, if I don’t pick up the pieces of my life and go on.
The thing I am going through now is really unnerving to me. I remembered crying so much I thought I would never be able to cry again. Although there’s been a few tears I noticed at the time of the school shooting, I couldn’t cry. I was broken-hearted and felt the loss of all those child and adults just couldn’t cry. I thought, Lord my emotions are my greatest asset, I don’t want to have a hardened-heart over such a pain filled event. I was reminded to look for the good and that was just like us in our losses we’ve stuck together and that’s just what those people did. Opened their hearts to one another and pulled together to strengthen their community and find comfort in their sorrow.
As I am facing the end of 2012, I also, face the anniversary of my loss, January 2, 2012, the loss of my Bud. As I end one year, I find the good, the strengths, the hope to carry, pass on and carry me through the next year. I am learning not to expect life to be a certain way, but I am learning how to accept life on life’s term and not be afraid to trudge on.. Being a Christian, I depend a lot on God and the Bible, not to get me through but teach me the difference between good and evil and trust in self. But, never fear whether you believe or not , God is patient, long suffering, and waits for us to call. But I believe He puts us all where we need to be and gives us His grace and mercy as we attempt to do it on our own. thanks for listening.
Hearing you, Joan!
maryann Kulbus says
Hi Lisa, You write so beautifully that when I want to write back it is difficult because you are a hard act to follow but here goes. I knew that damn Mayan calander was going to be wrong because I really was looking forward to it. It would have helped with two things first I could be back with my husband where I
belong and second I would not have to clean out the storage unit that I pay for every month year after year but can’t face going through all those memories.I have wanted to burn it down and just walk away…..but I wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt. So now I looked at New Year as anorher year of of trying to move on and.clean out that shed or light that match!!!! Damn Mayians!
ps. (Although I can see the problem with your paying rent on the storage unit), my rule of thumb about going through stuff – when I’m damn good & ready!
maryann Kulbus says
Thanks Lisa…..you always make me laugh 😉 and I love to laugh!
maryann Kulbus says
Oooops forgot to wish you a happy,healthy and blessed New Year. I thank God everyday that he helped me find your books in a strange way.They helped me break open after being held back with Post Tramatic Stress for years. Lol I told my therapist.I should.have been paying you because you are the one that made me break through and grieve…She wanted.me to lend her your book…..I told her to buy her own!!! She was not laughing but I am and I am saving a bundle. 🙂 🙂 🙂 Somtimes God sends us Angels when we have given up.and least expect it.<3 and be happy..
Lol! Thanks a lot!
YOUR WORDS ARE SUCH A INSPIRATION. YOU HAVE A WAY OF TELLING IT
LIKE IT IS . I TO HAVE HAD A PRETTY CRAPPY YEAR. HOWEVER I AM VERY
DETERMINED THAT 2013 IS GOING TO BE A GREAT YEAR. I HAVE BEEN
SO BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT I FINALLY
REALIZED THAT. A FRIEND GAVE ME SOMETHING THAT SHE HAD READ AND IT
SAYS. GOD KNOWS HOW TO PROTECT YOU, NOT ONLY FROM HARM, NOT ONLY
FROM THE WRONG PEOPLE, GOD WILL PROTECT YOU FROM YOURSELF. SHE
LOST HER HUSBAND THIS YEAR. SO IT MADE ME REALIZE THAT THERE WERE ALOT
OF MY FRIENDS THAT ARE READY TO START A FRESH NEW YEAR. I LOVE READING ALL
THAT YOU RIGHT BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT IS THE KICK IN THE PANTS THAT SOME OF
US NEED. YOUR ARE IN THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS AND I HOPE THAT 2013 BRINGS
YOU NOTHING BUT JOY, HAPPINESS, AND PEACE. GOD BLESS.
Carolyn Johnson says
My heart goes out to you. This brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for the loss you experienced. I was glad you were able to reframe your thoughts and put yourself in a better place. I loved this blog post – Thank you for sharing such intimate details of your life – because I think that you are a person people can relate to and learn from. Thank you for this post. Carolyn
I hope 2013 will be a great year for you !
I never believed in the world ending on December 21st but I do wonder what the Doomsday preppers will do with all their canned goods haha….
I have to say, Congratulations Lisa!, you write so pretty good, it`s difficult to follow your writting after that. Anyway, I’m very glad you’re stay here in this moment and that’s because Maya’s Calendar has allowed us going on all together in this blog, and in own lives. I’m sure this next year will be very good for you Lisa, you realized something change around you, and it’s more easier to do things that before you never had done. It’s a cyclical change, an era’s change , and definitely we leave bad things behind and now we will begin with new things, new ideas, new kwoledges, all new in our lives, and this is very very good, so good. I think we’re hope for this since always. Änd, it here goes, at last.
Welcome for all of us this new year full of possitive , enthusiastic and good things. Moving forward for us is important in this time and we’ll do it.
Happy new era’s beginning lisa. I hope you’re the most happier in the earth. You deserve it and more.
All my love in this new start and all the best for you Lisa, as always.
Thanks, Maite. I hope we all move forward with this new and positive energy.
As you begin again, you are at your very best.
Strongest, most open, willing and awake.
Happiness be with you!
A very nice thing to remember. XL
Sioux Schaefer says
I WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU LISA ,
I HAVE ENDURED.
I HAVE BEEN BROKEN.
I HAVE KNOWN HARDSHIP.
I HAVE LOST MYSELF.
BUT HERE I STAND, STILL MOVING FORWARD,
GROWING STRONGER EACH DAY.
I WILL NEVER FORGET THE HARSH LESSONS IN MY LIFE.
THEY MAKE ME STRONGER.
I HOPE THE NEW YEAR FINDS ALL OF US A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER AND A WHOLE LOT STRONGER!!
Julie Clements says
Hi Lisa just you keep going forward there’s plenty for you to do and enjoy in life and it’s now your time to find hopefully in the future love and courage to take the step.
You are a very beautiful lady and I believe you have a happy life to look forward to, if it’s on your own or with someone special you keep your head high you must as Patrick will never go out of your memories and you will find happiness again I just feel you have so much to share you go for it Lisa live your life be that vibrant beautiful lady you have a good heart and caring soul you live it to the full.
Take care lots of love God bless love julie xxox
Workin’ on it. Best as I can. One foot in front of the other!
Louise Young says
I can relate to much of what you have written Lisa. For me 2012 was my now 6 year old daughter started school. I I am still learning to not hold on to her quite so tight. She is wanting to start ballet in the coming year. As for me the new year will be a fresh start.
Love and light
Siento no poder expresarme correctamente en inglés, soy española. Hace poco y de manera casual he conocido su maravillosa historia; sólo quería decirle que al ver la expresión en los ojos de su marido y en los suyos propios terminé por creer en la existencia de la magia de las almas gemelas.
Bellas letras, Nati.
Lindsay Luckadoo says
Lisa, I can’t tell you enough what an inspiration you are. Here’s wishing you all of the happiness in the world for 2013!
As Steve Jobs once said, “Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
As always, much, much love to you! XXX
Sioux Schaefer says
DID YOU EVER DREAM THAT YOU AND PATRICK WOULD BE SUCH WONDERFUL TEACHERS TO MILLIONS? THROUGH THE GOOD TIMES AND THE BAD YOU HAVE OPENED UP YOUR PRIVATE LIFE SO THAT YOU COULD SHARE WITH THOSE OF US WALKING ALONG THIS PATH OF LIFE.
YOUR LESSONS,YOUR STRENGHT AND DRIVE TO SEE THE POSITIVE IN SITUATIONS THAT MANY OF US MIGHT HAVE MISSED HAS BEEN A GREAT GIFT. THANK U FOR OPENING UP YOUR HEART TO THOSE OF US THAT NEED TEACHERS IN OUR LIVES.
WITH LOVE, SIOUX
”They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies”
You are an inspiration Lisa, with the courage, strength, and determination you hold in such a beautiful way..You deserve to enjoy a new kind of happiness.. I hope 2013 is a better year for you with more highs than lows.. xxx
I wish you a happy new year from 2013, that peace and happiness reigns in his heart Lisa.
Allow me to write what is in my mother tongue, catalan.
Et desitjo Lisa un feliç any de 2013, que la pau i la felicitat estigue sempre dins del teu cor.
Dear Lisa! Happy New Year! I wish you happiness and Joy!
Lynn Niels Sorensen says
Happy New Year Lisa – and everyone here! A friend sent me this one, which I pass on to you all! My New Years’ wish for you – May God grant you in 2013 twelve months of Happiness,(and Happanieminess!?!), 52 weeks of Fun, 365 days of Success, 8760 hours of Good Health, 52600 minutes of Good Luck, and 315600 seconds of Joy!… Personally, I haven’t checked the Math on this one!!! If I did, I’d probably get it wrong!.. OK so we all know that in reality the New Year will bring the usual ups and downs, highs and lows for us all, and that it won’t all be plain sailing, but we can help each other with our positive thoughts and support as always, and give it out best shot at all times and in the spirit of Patrick also. For everyone in the United Kingdom the New Year begins with “GHOST” on TV (Freevierw Film Four at 9 pm on Wednesday January 2nd), and in 2013 there will also be a national tour of “GHOST” – the musical – to look forward to. All the best to Lisa and to you all, Lynn xxx
Lynn Niels Sorensen says
Hi Lisa – Since Roman times it has been a tradition to offer a gift or present at the start of the New Year. So, as we are both of Scandinavian descent, you from Finland, me from Denmark, I offer you the Scandinavian RUNE of HAPPINESS ( in your case also HAAPANIEMINESS) to bring you inner peace, happiness and good luck for the New Year. If you look for this rune you will see that the stone has on it an icon similar to the letter P for Patrick. The rune of Happiness (Haapanieminess), is called WYNN (Wayne), and represents Inner Happiness, the ultimate stage of serenity. Its message is: “To be Happy, you need to be at peace with yourself. Happiness is at your fingertips. Work towards harmony and balance in everything you do. Concentrate on solutions rather than problems. For happiness to last it must be based on truth and honesty. Seek only what is just and fair and luck will smile on you” . You might like to keep this rune in your pocket at all times to remind you of its message and bring you happiness and good luck. for the New Year 2013. Love and Light to you Lisa, and inner peace, Lol, Lynn xxx
Wishing you the same for the New Year! Thanks!
I’m very very glad because your fight had gotten better results. Congratulations for all you had made , for all those people that suffer this disease!!. At last, Obama have signed the bill for the research and this is a great great new for us, and of course for you all over. All my congratulations Lisa, i’m with tears in my eyes, i knew this new year will carry us something good things, and this is the most important thing we’re hoped. A new world is open now for research this disease and everything will be very good for it.
I suppose you will be so happy for it and i’m very happy for you too and for everyone. Thanks everyone had made possible this fact happens.
All my love for you as always, today more than never. All is fine, all be fine, thanks God.
Chris Hock says
One day at a time is all we have. How many moments we have to string together is what life is. I lost my Dad to pancreatic cancer. That was in 2003 and I am still not over it, and I don’t think I ever will be. But something funny happened between those moments we have…I picked up where my Dad left off, and that’s how our loved ones live on forever. GOD BLESS EVERYONE who has been touched by this disease. We just have to keep stringing together those moments, one right after another. The precious memories we have of our loved ones is what keeps them alive. In that way, they are not gone, and never will be.
I agree. XL
Lynn Niels Sorensen says
Very many thanks for your New Year message Lisa! If my New Year goes in the direction I think it’s going, both of us will be able to look back at this message before too long and hopefully LOL!!! I will be clinging on to my rune for “dear life” (as they say) as I paddle my lone canoe for a while on the roughest of seas, but with luck I will come through in the end and truth will prevail!Please all spare me a thought when the media storm breaks! Love Lynn xx
Sandra v. S says
Wishing you all the best for a healthy, happy and loving New Year!
Happy new year Lisa!
I hope this new year will be wonderful for you , with a lot of good surprises.
I just read your interview in last Feburary’s Ladies’ Home Journal. It spoke to my heart and I felt moved to let you know that your thoughts and writings have touched yet another person. I lost my husband, Tim, May 24, 2012, to esophageal cancer after a 2 1/2 year battle. He was only 60. From the first day we found out about his diagnosis, we began a journey together that was full of pain and fear, but mostly love and blessings. By the end, we were closer than ever. That was the hardest thing I have ever experienced, yet I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it.
I knew from the very first that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing. . . now I am so lost, not knowing where to be or what to do. I’ve been doing things that have helped, such as volunteering at a hospital in the neonatal ICU as a baby cuddler, finding a knitting/crochet group to join, going to church, and reconnecting with friends I had neglected during Tim’s illness. However, there is a huge hole in my chest that has not gotten smaller. I know it has only been a little over seven months, but it seems longer. I read somewhere that the hole never goes away, you just eventually learn to walk around it instead of repeatedly falling into it. I hope so.
Anyway. . . just wanted to let you know that you have given me hope that it will get better.
Thank you so much.
I remember describing it as a hole in my chest, too. I thought I would never feel better, and was hanging in there on sheer faith that what people say was true – that in time the pain would become more manageable. And it has. There will be brighter days ahead for you Carbie. Believe. And hang in there.
Baerbel von Scheven says
Just wanted to add my congratulations on the passing of the bill – thank you so much for doing such a great job as a PanCan spokesperson! I am sure Patrick is very proud of you! Happy New Year and all the best for 2013!
Love & Light,
Found this again at a good time and thought you would appreciate the sentiment…
“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”
HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW
Hah! So simple. So true.
Nadine Wood says
Hope all is well. Just wanted you to know you should have received the package I sent by now.Hope you like it, let me know if it arrived safely and what you think.
Hope the New Year have started out well for you. Saw this quote recently and thought how true: Life can only be understood backward, unfortunately it must be lived forward. What a thought, maybe we can reflect backwards to try and shape our future…hmmm what do you think? Enjoy your day. Rainbows to you Lisa
Karl Bernhard Möllmann says
I have already tried to reach you before . . .
I am a german, living in France – maybe our languages are too different – but what I want to tell you, might help you come out of that black hole, that once in a while tries to suck you in.
My dad commited suicide on July 19th 1963.
He was a surgin, and I was supposed to take over in the third generation his work.
Instead I set out to learn everything on depression.
It took me most of my life – 50 years – but I succeeded finally.
I can teach you some of the most basic knowledge on illness you can iagine.
You WILL finally fully understand – and you might even find pleasure in saving other peoples lives . . .
May 2013 become your best year ever !
Sioux Schaefer says
I admire the fact you will take on anything and be good at it. I am sure if you LIKE golf yoiu will give your partners a run for their money. Your picture looks like a strong swing with determination. Good luck and have a ball.(oops.)
I never thought I’d have fun golfing. Thought it was for fuddy-duddies. I’m surprised I’m enjoying it (even though it pretty darn hard)!
Sioux Schaefer says
“you” not yoiu. I hate when this happens. I really know how to spell but my computer has it’s own language.
i´m so happy that the Mayan calendar was wrong!Personally i hate this type of predictions because i think that always brings a lot of negative energy .I didn´t believe it but I was very upset reading about an alleged end of the world because i considered it a pointless commotion.A Prophecy like this is a cause of an insecurity and that´s no good .But i want to wish you to live just very beautiful moments without a trace of fear.I know´i´m late but Happy New Year to you and to your loved ones Lisa!Live your life fully and happy the best way you can and i hope you will have much good days this year! I l ove to see you smilling and i ´m looking forward to see your positive energy and a joy of doing new things.
Love ,light and much courage
Sending you big hugs