I think I must be getting good at finding ways to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries without my Buddy. I’ve let balloons tied with notes loose into the atmosphere, and…well, I’ve let a lot of balloons go… (There have been others things, but I can’t for the life of me think of them now).
But balloons on the 3rd anniversary of his death didn’t seem right to me. Too festive, too bright…
I had been weepy in the weeks leading up to this anniversary. Weepy without rhyme, or reason. And every time I got emotional, I figured it was because of this date coming up, my body like a clock winding up before it strikes the hour, my internal mechanism blipping and ticking off the days until “the” day…
What to do on the anniversary of his death? What to do… I had just arrived in the Boston area. Maybe I’d get some flowers, figure out how to get to the ocean and toss them in? And where would I find a place lovely enough, private enough?
A friend and I were driving on a local Highway when I pointed to a beautiful body of water. “What’s that lake,” I asked.
“Oh, that’s Walden Pond.”
”Walden Pond??” I was amazed, “The famous author Henry David Thoreau’s Walden Pond??”
“Yeah, that’s it.” (It wasn’t, but the real Walden Pond was less than a half-mile away).
And suddenly a plan was formulating in my mind! Why7
Henry David Thoreau was an amazing poet, philosopher, naturalist, critic, historian, and leading transcendentalist. An original and forward thinking man in his time. But beyond that – Patrick and I had a book that was given to us when we entered an acting class in LA, a class where we were encouraged to be leaders as artists, not followers. On the first page of this book was a quote by Henry David Thoreau! I can’t remember the exact quote, so I’ll paraphrase:
When you are struck by an idea, or inspiration, it is your job to follow through on it. For if you do not, you will be condemned to stand by and watch as someone else implements the very idea that had been your own.
Pretty cool message, huh?
Walden Pond. Not only would I throw flowers in the Pond for Patrick, but it would honor his vibrant and artistic spirit, the spirit that was always pushing the edges of the envelope, and thinking outside the box. And in a way, it would honor my spirit as well, along with the dreams and imagination that we had both started out with.
With two dozen, beautiful white roses, I struck out for Walden Pond, and hiked quite a ways before I found a quiet, private spot for my ceremony.
And each time I threw out a rose, I said out loud, a thought for him. And one of the thoughts was – I wanted him to be proud of me.
It was the first time I had ever thought that. Before, it really didn’t matter because there was not much I wanted to do without him here on this earth. I didn’t care. So, what would there be to be proud of?
But going back a little… This past year, or so, friends have been telling me that if I put half the attention that I had put into my Buddy’s life and career into my own, there’s no telling what I could accomplish. Even a famous medium/psychic, just last month, delivered a message from Patrick to me, and what he said was – “It’s time to let the little birdie go, and fly.”
I found myself sitting at the edge of Walden Pond, and “let the birdie fly” came back into my mind. I felt so bolstered by the belief I knew he always had in me.
“You go, Girl. You dazzle ‘em. You can do it! Show ‘em what you got!” I could almost hear him say.
And why shouldn’t I? Why shouldn’t I just jump off? And I’ll build my wings as I go.
And beyond that inspiration was something very special that day – I felt so close to him. His presence so clear in my life. And I was grateful, and amazed. It was as if I had been struck by magic. Three years after his death, he still changes and informs my life everyday. Still inspiring me, still teaching me about love, living, standing up for myself, and courage.
He’s here. He hasn’t gone away. He’s living, because he lives in my heart.
I threw my last rose in the water, and cried a few more soft tears as I thanked him for being in my life.
And I walked away feeling – empowered. Maybe this little bird can let loose and soar. And since Walden Pond, I feel a tingle. I feel my mind sharpening, and my heart opening. And I feel Bold.
This was so beautiful. In my heart I feel like it was meant to be that you find this pond..you know when something just clicks? That was a moment that needed to happen right there and then. Lisa you are such a inspiration and I know Patrick is proud as am I that you keep his memory alive. We all loved and love him..You keep doing what you do with a smile. You go girl!
I agree that it was amazing that I just happened to be by that pond. Even more so that my friend miss-identified the 1st body of water I saw as Walden Pond (which led me to the real one)! It just tells me that it was “meant to be.” I am grateful for the special I had.
Dear Lisa!
Thank you so much for sharing this with us! Wow… what a great way to remember your Buddy on this very sad day! There is so much Love between you and your dear Buddy… it is so nice to hear from you that you can feel his presence very clear…yes.. I`m sure he isn`t gone.. he is with you with every step you do and he is smiling because he is so proud of you…!!
Love to you and many Hugs… from Regine!
Dear Mrs. Swayze your husband didn’t go, he is kept here. He wants to contact you cause you keeping him. He feels like he is alive and lost. My nights are deep exhausted by his “visits”. I have this “gift” since I was small, I refused to use it many times, sometimes works sometimes don’t. there is a strange story what he has said last year… well many things he has said.. you should revisit a apartment or studio.. house where you ware both happy just before he passed away.. big city and big stairs, this apartment got two entrance door… I saw it.. can draw it….I couldn’t have children, my husband is a MD he knew we need to wait and treat me (thyroid) .. he – your husband – said that he desperately needs them, meaning kids.. I answered him that he Is gone his time just passed… after one month later I was pregnant.. guess what this is son.. and you have a “mission” … he wants you take him in your arms and this will change something brings answers… my son… on 4.10 he become one year old …well if you see him you will understand.. everything is strange and painful.. but is real and I cannot handle this anymore…
Do whatever you want, perhaps this will sounds selfish I feel a minimum relief to write this, hoping you to hear this… even thought that you read it is calming…
I live very normal live, I’m mom, have a husband and a dog… run a business .. very ordinary.. and I’m alone with this…
Lisa,
ANY REAL TRULY BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN can easily tell you that “visits” from a loved one after
death doesn’t happen. It’s in God’s word. GOD HIMSELF DOESN’T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.
FOR PEACE OF MIND, KNOWLEDGE, AND TO FEEL AT PEACE THROUGH THE PRESENCE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD, JESUS, AND GOD, … PLEASE START READING THE BIBLE. I suggest starting with the new testament. Ask Jesus to give you interpretation of HIS HOLY WORD AS YOU READ IT.
You are seeing “soothsayers” as they are called in the bible. These people are fakes or demon
possessed. God does not allow the dead to come back to speak to ANYONE. Simply read about the rich man and the poor man in the bible. Jesus proved it. Jesus was in a town when he commanded the unclean spirits to come out of a woman who made a man a LOT OF MONEY. Of course the man became angry when his income was lost. Jesus rebuked him also and warned others about seeing “soothsayers”.
You will find the peace you are seeking through prayer to JESUS AND THROUGH THE PRESENCE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD.
I can testify that I HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK ON EARTH, YET THROUGH PRAYER, I FOUND JESUS. JESUS led me to read the bible and gave me understanding without attending any church. CRY YOUR HEART OUT TO HIM AND LET HIM HEAL IT.
I started praying to Jesus asking him to reveal HIMSELF TO ME because I didn’t know if he was truly real, even though I wanted Him to be. Shortly thereafter, I started experiencing the unexplainable. I WAS AT PEACE IN MY MIND HEART AND SOUL and saw beautiful things that Jesus wanted me to see. I became a beleiver. My favorite verse is “have faith in whatever you ask of Me, and I will do it that the Father is glorified through the Son”.
I have been visited by angels, my bible’s mid section binder is the color of baby pink and baby blue, my broken rib healed, etc…ALL BECAUSE I ASKED IN PRAYER WITH FAITH. You are welcome to examine my bible at any time. I have never altered it and it can easily be proven by simply looking at it.
I miss Patrick too, but my prayer is that he accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. The more you pray and read the bible, the more you will understand and be at peace. Ask Jesus to give you wisdom while reading the bible, and faith at all times. Don’t be surprised at the results.
Jesus taught his beleivers how to test the spirit of a person or spirit. READ THE BIBLE, THE ANSWERS ARE ALL THERE. Demons speak and even imitate those that have passed on.
I pray you read this and my prayers are for you and your future.
IN JESUS NAME, GOD BLESS YOU.
Oh Lisa this is an extraordinary lesson of moving forward!
Today you made me cry! Beautiful quotes. Yes he lives thanks to you: you can’t touch him but you can feel it!
He is proud of u don’t worry
S
WOW, I really don’t know what to say but wow. I smiled and cried. I hope that someday if I am ever in your position- and I hope I never will be!- that I have the courage and willpower to do just one thing to honor my husband the way you are.
Thank you for posting this. It got me thinking.
Really Lisa, just so beautifully written. Thank you for sharing such a personal moment. I just passed the fourth anniversary of “the day” for me. I feel the day approaching in my bones and feel the lump in my throat for weeks before. You should be proud of yourself–proud for giving a voice to all of the women that share the same unimaginable loss and for letting these women know they are not alone.
Be well,
Lisa, that is so beautiful. Just wanted to share my news with you – I told you earlier I was facing surgery to remove ovarian masses. After major surgery, I have been diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer. This is so ironic, isn’t it, after just losing my husband two years ago to pancreatic cancer. Doesn’t feel like reality. I have opted for no chemo to just buy time and stay sick. It’s in the Lord’s Hands and I have no fear because I know my beloved husband is waiting on me. I want quality of life. Just wanted to share with you. Much love, Barbara
Barbara, this is heart-stopping news. I understand what you say about quality of life… I don’t know what to say… My best wishes are with you. XXL
Thank you so much, Lisa.
Hi Barbara Maffett,
I wish u all the best for ur upcoming journey. Your decision, not to fight it with chemo is brave, and I hope for you, that there’s a big package full of beautiful moments and days waiting for you! Enjoy every second, enjoy every breath until u will see ur buddy again.
Tani
Thank you, Tani, for your words of encouragement.
Miss Barbara you will be in my thoughts and prayers. I know the healing power of the Lord and I so admire you for your strength and courage. I, too, have made the decision that if anything such as cancer should come upon me that there would be no treatments and I didn’t even want to know if I had anything wrong. This was a long before my husband passed away, and as my faith has grown I know for me it is the right thing to do and now, it really doesn’t matter if I know or not, because I where my faith lies and my spirit will be once I am gone. So, please, know that you are not alone in your decision, that you will be covered by many thoughts and prayers for courage and strength will cover you as you trudge on in your battle and yes , you know who is waiting on you. GOD BLESS YOU AND MUCH GRATITUDE FOR BLESSING ME.
Thank you so much, Joan. I know God will be with me on this journey when and if it progresses. I have 100% faith in Him. He brought us through so much during my husband’s battle with PC.
Your very welcome. You are in my prayers. Like you, i will agree that in our journey after our loss, God is all we have and that is where our faith comes from. Well all I had and that no matter what the out come He will be with us through it all. GOD BLESS YOU AND BE A BLESSING. I find it helps to get out of myself and help someone else,something as little as a smile or hello, brighten my day and others too. I’ve even started getting them back. But the smallest things bring the biggest blessings. I was telling someone about Lisa’s blog and that I had commented several times and before I could finish, she asks “Does she reply back?” I said “Yes, this is part of a healing process and there would be no purpose, This is the best way I have found to feel complete again. Lisa writes, you write, mzny people we respond and give each other hope. We see where we’ve bee, how far we’ve come and where to go from here. And it’s been such a blessing with many gifts. Gifts of friendship with total stranger that have a common concern. I will leave you with this thought and promise, No matter what our losses are or have been, no matter what disease tries to destroy us. I will be here to listen, hear you, and let you know that you are loved, understood and have many friends. BLESS YOU! aND THIS GOES TO ALL WHO CHOSE IT.
Joan, and bless you, my friend, for writing those beautiful words. I am 72, no children, lost my soulmate, and that is why I have chosen not to go through all of the chemo and its side effects just to buy time. I am at peace with my decision and put my faith and trust in our God. Would love to stay in touch with you but don’t want to go through this website if I want to share my personal feelings about everything going on. Trying to think of a way to share my E-mail address with you. Any suggestions?
I believe Facebook is the answer.
Barbara, I believe I found you on Facebook and have sent a friend’s request. I hope so but if not I will keep looking. But Lisa is listed and pancreatic cancer foundation. I tried to send you a message but didn’t figure it out so I will wait for a response and message you my e-mail address. Be Blessed and Have A Good Day
barbra i read your post.may god put his healing hands on your body and make you whole again.hes our maker our strenght.he will never tun his back on you.my prayers are with you.what a strong lady you are.keep up ur faith my friend.know we are all praying for you.may again god bless you in big ways.
Thank you , Rhoda.
Barbara you made the right choice. Why suffer with the chemo. you will be going home anyways to God and to your companion. Life life peacefully to the end. I was diagnosed with Melonoma and thankfully it had not gotten into my tissue so I was very lucky. I like to think that I dodged the disease more than anything. The point is the night I found out I was preparing myself that I was not going to do the Chemo and poison myself. I am 37 years old and was willing to live life. I watched the “Beautiful Truth” and the Gerson approach seemed a lot better to me. I have adopted a very healthy lifestyle and continue to take care of my health each day.
just wanted to know you are brave and will pray for your peace and tranquility.
love
Mekaiel
Barbara, I remember you writing about your surgery and have wondered how it went. So sorry that it wasn’t more positive, but I truly wish for you courage and love on the journey you in front of you. I’m sure your special man will be taking care of you from afar xxx
Geraldine, thank you so much for your concern.
Dear Barbara! So sad to hear from your bad news…! I wish I could do more for you…as only send you this message! I`m sure that our Lord will guide you through this hard time and your special man is at your side at every single day! Wish you all good things … you are such a wonderful, strong and brave Lady ….you can have 100% faith in God …. he will take good care of you….!!!
Sending you my Love … All The Best from far away Germany…
Hugs to you from Regine!
Thank you so very much, Regine! My faith in God is 100%.
Thank you Barbara! Sending you my Love and big big Hugs… Regine!
Sending tons of positive thoughts and prayers to you, Barbara!
Thank you so much, Lindsay!
Barbara so sorry to hear of your news . I pray for strength and a miracle for you. keep the Faith, with God all things are possible. it is so heartbreaking for you after the passing of your husband not that long ago, and now this! Life seems so unfair doesnt it? But you seem like someone that believes everything has a purpose. stay strong and dont make decisions too quickly think it through. Try to make desions on “good” days when you feel positive, and pray hard. You will know and feel good about any decision you make, and you will know in your heart and soul when it is right. Think also : what would your husband encourage you to do if he was here? Whatever you decide please know you are lifted in prayer God bless you. Many prayers for strength and healing in other words: a miracle. Do you believe in miracles? I do. Hugs to you Nadine
Lisa,
Thank you for sharing:) Your stories inspire me to live life to the fullest and never take anything for granted.
Pam
That was so beautiful and touching. You are such a strong and inspiring woman that I am sure
Patrick is very proud of. I also lost the love of my life 7 years ago
and we had this incredible bond. As I read this composition, I had the very same emotions especially
when mentioning the feeling inside that builds up when that time of year
approaches and wanting him to be proud of me. I too had consulted a spiritual medium and read
countless books that had confirmed my love was still very much with me and
there are definitely feelings he is there and that the signs are very real.
This has also given me inspiration to do something similar when that time of year
comes around to honor and pay tribute to him. May God bless you Lisa and stay strong for surely
one day we will be with them again!
XL
Lisa,
That was simply beautiful….I could actually feel your emotions and I’m so happy for you. It seems the clouds have parted a wee bit, the sun is peeking through and off in the distance there’s a hint of a rainbow.
Patrick is smiling………
Nancy
This was so special. I have a place in my heart still for Patrick. I miss him dearly. I like the flower idea that you did. It gives a special meaning for those that have passed on, and each flower had a purpose for something that you both may have done together. My heart and thoughts goes out to you everyday.
God Bless. <3
Hi Lisa,
That is so wonderful. Soaring like the wind….shes like the wind..
Lol.
Beautiful Lisa, thank you for sharing with us your most private, tender moments. What a gift you have with words and an eye for natural beauty. From your pics we got a glimse of how you so lovingly celebrated Patrick’s life and the love you both shared. Love the white roses, beautiful. You are quite a mush, I can see why you guys had such a strong relationship and why it may be difficult to move forward. I’m glad you have good friends to help you through the tough times and encourage you to see that there can be good times. You sound very hopeful, I’m happy for you, you so deserve it. Keep on keepin on, I know Patrick is encouraging you to do the same. Just let go and see where life takes you. Relax and enjoy the ride. Who knows you may enjoy the view along the way. Love n hugs . Nadine
Lisa,
I feel the same thoughts that you do. I lost my husband to cancer (esophageal) 3 years ago. When the anniversary date approaches, I get so much anxiety and sadness, but when the day finally comes I am okay. The anticipation is just overwhelming. I went to a couple of mediums/clairvoyants and it helped me a great deal, also. My husband ‘s spirit has been coming in my dreams and he is telling me to move on now, also. We had talked about this when he was still alive that he wanted me to find a companion even though I told him I never would remarry and that I would always be his wife. I talk to him and get signs from him…the signs are seldom now…more often in the beginning. I know it is hard to move on, but I know that was his wish for me. We were so sad when we heard of Patrick’s diagnosis knowing that you two would be going through what we were going through, also. Your story about Walden Pond was so warm to the heart.
Cyndi
It’s amazing how similar our journeys can be. Thanks for writing, L
Dear Lisa,
I was thinking of you on September 14, hoping it would bring you some good things. How wonderful for you to be at Walden Pond with white roses for Patrick.
At my parish, I have made announcements on the last few Sundays about St. Louis, MO’s PurpleStride which will be on September 30th. I am participating in it as an individual and have gotten donations for it already from friends. A friend from my parish lost her mom to PC and, after hearing my announcements, decided to form a team in her mom’s memory.
Another story – I was on an airplane and was carrying my “Be A Hero. Fight PC” tote bag. As we got off the plane a woman I had never met noticed the bag and told me her mom died of PC also. I offered condolences and hoped that she would be encouraged that there is awareness of PC and of efforts to fight it.
Please know that you and Patrick, and the lady on the plane will be in my thoughts and prayers on September 30th during the walk and throughout the year whenever I get a chance to talk with people and raise awareness about PC.
Very sincerely,
Carol
.
Thanks, Carol. I have lots of people that reach out to me, too. It’s a tough, terrible disease that bonds us. With our hard work, we’ll create hope!
Lisa, thank you for sharing such a personal moment. I am two weeks away from the first anniversary of my husbands death, also from pancreatic cancer. Patrick’s life and battle were an inspiration to him as he battled this awful disease. I’ve been struggling with all of the tension and anxiety as”the day” approaches.
It helps to hear your story. Thanks again for sharing. You, too, are an inspiration.
I know how tough it is. You just have to ride it out. Be good to yourself in the meantime!
Hi Lisa,
the past weeks I could feel the presence of this very special day and I tried to send u a lot of positive energy, because I thought that day would be not that easy for you.
The idea with the roses and tha lake is beautiful! The balloons for the air, the roses for the water – there’s only missing something for the earth – a Lisa-Patrick-tree that could be planted someday. A tree that becomes strong and tall and lives for over hundred years….maybe an oak? I’m sure you’ll find every year something special to celebrate him – and I’m also sure, that he is still proud of you, no matter what kind of carreer is waiting for you.
Whatever you do, do it for you – he wants you to be happy and free – like a bird, like the wind, like a dancer!
Tani
LISA,
IT IS REALLY GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN. YOU WRITE SO INSPIRATION AND SPIRITUAL AND IT COMES FROM A GREAT PLACE YOUR HEART. THE PICTURES OF WALDENS POND ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. THEY REMIND ME OF DOWN HOME (TENNESSEE) THERE USED TO BE A PLACE CALLED WALTON’S MOUNTAIN DOWN THERE. WHEN I WOULD GO VISIT PAPAW WOULD TAKE ME FISHING THERE. I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT PATRICK IS PROUD OF YOU HOW COULD HE NOT BE. I HOPE THAT YOU KNOW THAT YOU MAY HAVE HAD A LITTLE SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE TO THE CORRECT POND AS WELL. MY PRAYERS FOR YOU IS THAT YOU WILL FEEL HOW SPECIAL OF A PERSON THAT YOU ARE AND THAT YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST THAT YOU NEED TO JUMP AND BUILD THEM WINGS AS YOU GO. I THINK YOU MIGHT FIND YOUR ARE A FASTER BUILDER THAN YOU THOUGHT. HAVE A GREAT REST OF THE WEEK. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. YOU ARE LOVED AND CARED ABOUT BY MANY JUST LIKE PATRICK WAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE SO KEEP THAT IN MIND. GOD BLESS..
Lisa your telling is so touching and full of love that i´m sure Patrick could feel all of it.You are right to think he hasn´´t gone away because he´s still a part of your heart and soul.I am always sad thinking of this 3rd anniversary but i hope you can find your way to live your life.I know what means to live an empty and a lonely life even though my reasons are different.Patrick and you always gave me much joy and strength to go on and i will allways grateful for it.My heart is always with you and Patrick´s family.I want you to know you always will have my admiration and support .Much love and peace to you from the Czech Republic.<3
Lisa, so glad you found that roses in a pond worked for you as a beautiful, peaceful, loving way to celebrate Patricks life… Its strange how sometimes the simplist things are the most powerful isn’t it? Lovely that your dark clouds are dispersing a little… Keep moving forwards dear Lisa, you are doing a grand job so far and I am certain that Patrick is riding there right beside you beaming with pride.
As always much love & lots of hugs
Joanna xxx
XXL
Hi Lisa that was a beautiful way to celebrate Patrick, It is great to feel that special something as you do this.When I go to the coast I like to take a small posy of flowers with me 3or 4 stems which as I walk along the waters edge I throw out to my special man with love, as he asked me to put his ashes out to sea so whenever I go to any coast I feel he is out there swimming free with the fish as when he lived he was unable to do this and that was his reason to have his ashes out to sea so the one thing he had never done he would get to do, as he loved the sea the crashing waves in the winter and the beautiful calm in the summer and the seals that pop up along our shore line.
I always tell the seals to take my love to him when I see any pop up in the sea it,s still special even now I have moved on and married with a family that someone special is still there if any thing more as I think he watches over me.
well love to you Lisa God bless and take care love julie xxox
Beautiful, Julie!
Dear Lisa thank you so much 4share so private message and God Bless you and Patrick love Xxxx
Lisa, your post was so beautiful to read. As a carer for my husband (also called Patrick) I hope I can honour his life (if he goes first) with as much grace and dignity , you have shown here.
Hugs from down under. Leanne
Dear Lisa, As the date was getting closer, you were in my thoughts all the time and I wanted to say something to help you through it but was afraid I would be ‘the one’ to remind you. I am so glad you had such a positive experience at the lake. I hope the wind is fair under your wings…go fly and be happy!.
Lisa,
Thank you for sharing such a personal moment. I am approaching “the day” in two weeks. It will be the first anniversary of my husband’s death, also from pancreatic cancer. Patrick’s battle was an inspiration to Jerry and you have been an inspiration to me. It is helpful to know you are not alone, so thank you again for sharing. Blessings to you!
Vicki
Knowing how hard these things can be, I’m amazed that we somehow manage to get through them. But somehow we do, and each time the sting gets less. Sending you good thoughts, girl.
Vicki, I will be thinking of you and praying for you as you face the first anniversary. When was his actual date? My husband lost his battle with pancreatic cancer on October 2, 2010. His second anniversary is coming up very soon – he died two days after our 32nd wedding anniversary.
Barbara,
Thank you for your prayers. Today would be our 4th wedding anniversary. He passed away on Sept. 30th. What a similar situation we have. I’ll be praying for you as well.
I read your previous posts above and I will also pray God’s peace for you and comfort. God is so good to us and I pray his grace over you. Blessings and love to you Barbara.
Dear Lisa,
Maybe this little bird can let loose and soar…. don’t be afraid, Patrick will always be watching over you. Everything that I want to say to you has already been said in the comments above! There is a consistency a common thread in these messages. Lisa, moving forward is not leaving Patrick behind – he is travelling with you! You go girl… we are all here ready to support you.
Love always
Joan (Canada)
I am really getting that. Thanks. XXL
It was nice what you did for Patrick on the anniversary of his passing. I have been doing things for my loved one who passed 22 years ago, it gets harder as each year comes to find something different to do, but have come to the conclusion that just doing ‘something’ is enough. I am sure they want to be remembered, as we all do, so no matter what you do, if in your heart it makes you feel better and you know your loved would have liked it, then that’s the thing to do. We all remember Patrick and will never forget him, he gave us a lot of joy in all his movies etc. May he rest in peace. God’s blessing’s to you and his Mom, know it must be very difficult for her, nothing worse than losing a child, and to all his family and friends.
Dear Lisa,
It’s impossible forgetting when patrick leaved us. But he didn’t leaving us at all, cause Lisa you’re here with all us,(one of biggest part of him ) and he’s in all your life and in hearts of people whose loved him and not forget him ever. Thank you for sharing these pics with us in a private-hard day. White flowers for an angel as Buddy , is a shower of your big love of your both big love.
All my love and my best wishes Lisa. XXL
That’s simply wonderful. Kisses.
Such a beautiful way to spend a sad day, Lisa. You’re right… your Buddy is right there with you. Always. And, I know he was smiling down on you as you tossed the roses into the pond. Thanks for sharing such a special moment.
As always, much, much love to you! XXX
Lisa, Tryed to respond 3 times and lost the note everytime, but did manage to get Barbara a message. I am amazed how how when I find a stumbling block or brick wall, I usually find an answer in your writings. Thank you for sharing and being honest. My key this time was HONOR. I remember as we left the church after hte funeral, I ask my daughter, ” Did I do it? Did I give him the honor he deserved?” She agreed that I had. He never had many to care about him or to give him the benefit of the doubt til me. As we grew in love together, i always wished that he would find himself and see how wonderful he was. I would tell him but he didn’t believe me and no matter how good he was, he made it sound like he was just adding up brownie point for when he passed away. He was a recovering alcoholic and he could believe he was worth of anything. So, when he passed, I wanted to be sure that I honored him and gave him the send off he deserved. And I did.
But when you spoke of your life and wanting to take care of yourself to honor Patrick and live as he would want you too. I got it. It’s not that I haven’t tried to do my best to take care of me, I haven’t. I would go so far, just enough to make myself think, see this isn’t so bad and then, I gave up. iknow without a doubt that if my Bud was alive today. He would be all over me , tryin to find out just what I thought I was doing. In other words I just don’t think I’ve honored him as well in death as I did in life. God has my back now and although I knpow what He expects of me , it’s just so hard to get motivated. I don’t have Bud for the little things or the big things for that matter, and thats what I miss. When I have a joy or a sorrow, he’s not here to share it with, or to talk over the daily deeds.. And although I have some friends like you and even some men to talk to every once in a while, it’s still not the same. Just as he knew what buttons to push to make me so mad I couldn’t see straight. He knew the ones to push to make everything okay again and get me on the right track again. But as you, I know it’s time to live again and I’m ready to go for it. I am thinking of some classes maybe, one thing I started and didn’t finish, some exercise classes, and to get healthy again. something for me but something I know would make him happy, too. But thank you, I received a wonderful awaking from your articles/blog and as was said I am so ready to move on. God bless you and you are a such a Blessing.
What you write here is amazing, amazing, amazing, and brought tears to my eyes. Thanks.
Your are such an inspiration to so many of us. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings on that day. A good friend of mine, Trent, is getting ready to undergo yet another surgery(will be his third) for pancreatic cancer, on the 27th of this month. I so hope and pray that he is going to pull thru this. He has always remained positive and kept his witty sense of humor. I read your post and this gives me hope and strength to stay strong.
Wishing you both good luck!
Lisa, I have admired and “loved’ Patrick Swayze since I was a litte girl. and in the recent years I have come to admire you so much as well. It seems like you and Patrick had the most wonderful love story. and I cant imagine the loss you still feel. He will always be in your heart forever. being an enormous fan of Patrick Swayze and you, I have lit a candle for him each year since his death. just a nice thought of him and of course you too. thoughts are with you. 🙂
Read this and instantly thought of an upbeat little song by annie lennox song called little bird! And to barbara my thoughts are with you i am having my own personal nightmare with an ovarian mass due in for surgery in2wks! Thinking of you! And lisa spread thoose wings and fly!xx
Yes, I know this song! Thanks for reminding me! Good luck with your surgery in two week. I send my best. XL
Thanks so much lisa! we all love and care for you, x
They always said that you knew best but this little birds fallen out that nest now, a gotta feeling that i might’a been blessed so ive just got to put theese wings to test!! put this on your ipod and i bet you cant resist dancing lisa, great little song!xx
Hah!
Lynn, prayers are with you – please keep me posted.
Lynn, Barbara, and Lisa, God bless you all. You will be in my Prayers as well. I believe God has special plans for all of us. I have learned that the 23rd Psalm is for the living. “Yea, though we walk THROUGH the valley of the shadows of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me.” For me going through has been made much easier with you all. WHY? Because even though we may be afraid, we are still trudging through all that we must to find peace and make life a little better not only for ourselves but others. And I am very thankful for that. The other group I go to is good, but it seems as though they try to solve everyone else’s problems to get away from facing their pain. That shouldn’t be thewasy it is. If we listen to one another but always share and never make decisions for someone else. I think the biggest thing I’ve learned is that I’m not alone, that I’m not different than anyone, that even if I don’t feel right about my situation , I know I’m not different. I am me and by the grace of God, and sharing with my friends, it’s not quite as bad and I am going to make it. We are going to make it. One day at a time. But , I do have a request, Lisa, if you think it’s appropriate and that is to give Barbara my e-mail address. She has ask me for it and I don’t know any other way, unless she is on Facebook. But I don’t know how the blog works, so, it’s ok , what ever you think . Tank You all and God Bless.
I think Facebook is the answer
Thanks so much
Joan
Joan – so sorry – I may have declined your friend request. Please, please retry it and I will accept.
Joan, please send me another Friend Request – I tried finding you on FB to no avail. Thanks! I am the only one on there with my name.
Dear Joan, I am sending you love and light! And yes, Facebook would work, but if you want to share your email here, that’s fine with me, just know that everyone else will see it as well.
XXXL
ILisa and Barbara, Thank you for your help. I believe I have found Barbara on FB and sent a friends request. I think that the problem lies in my name. I have the same name as here but my middle names are that of my 1st husband and my maiden name. I think it’s hear because your and Patrick”s picture from the cover of your first book is in here timeline/homepage what ever it’s called, but none the less she should have the friends request on there too. I’ve thought about just putting my email address out there but I just don’t feel comfortable. But I am here, still praying and know that our comfort and peace comes from God within us but I also know that a friend to listen and share gives us strength as well. Bless you all. joan
I have been thinking seriously about the email adress and I just don’t think so. I will try the Facebook again, since Barbara’s response of declining my FB request. Also, I don’t think I mentioned to Barbara that my Fb account name is the same as here with my maiden name and my first husbands name in the middle. i feel so blessed to have met you and have so many friends to from your blog respond too. The next 5 month are the toughest for me, all months of major losses, and i know people get tired of hearing me talk but that is the best medicine for me, and of course, my faith in God but I believe He lead me here and puts people in my presence to help face and deal with my losses. People feel i should “BE OVER IT” but when you love deeply you never are over it . I believe that the memories are in a special place jn my heart to be protected and shared and used to give hope to others and then as we go full circle we receive that hope back. But November is the loss of my son at the age of 17, December is my mom’s anniversary, January my Bud (husband) of course, and February my fathers. All different, but yet all the same, and all is dealt with differently. But each person defined my life and I guess it’s just hard with all the losses to be who I want to be or over come who I was. I don’t know if that makes sense but to me its like putting a jigsaw puzzle together and the puzzle is me. but being honest, truthful, and willing to trust again, and share, I believe that is the way to being truly happy or at least content. But those anniversaries can be overwhelming (but not as bad as time goes on) if I’m not careful. And with God it’s even better, because the focus is off me and on Him and I learn, build faith and share my story and He has always given me people to share with and HUGS. But, of course, I have to be humble enough to ask or reach out. I went to the cementary yesterday where my sister-in-law isburied and put flowers on her grave, About 4 rows over was a lady standing in front of a stone and looked very lost. i walked over and just said Excuse me, but you look like you could use a hug, and she held on so tight for a while and then, we talked and of course she needed some work done and the “friend of her husband’ tried to take advantage of her financially. I tried to assure her that she was right and as long as she was comfortable with her decision and took time for herself that she could be sure she did the right thing. It’s the small things that trip me up but when you share and find out your not alone in how you feel, it makes a difference . At least for me it does. Well, I will close for now. God Bless You All A Thanks For Being Such A Blessing (now, wish us luck for I will go to FB and try to find you Barbara lol.) Good Night all.
Lisa have you heard anymore from Barbara? I have been thinking about her and praying but never did get in touch on facebook.
thanks
No, I haven’t!
Hey, Barbara! We’d love to get updates! Love to you!
How very beautiful and wonderful! You and Patrick have many fans that will support you in whatever you do. We love you both. PS: The next time you speak to him, give him my love 🙂
Lol. Will do.
Lisa, Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year. Sorry this time of the year leaves me a little air-headed. But Barbara and I final crossed bases about a week ago. She sent me a magazine article she had written when her husband passed and we chatted for a while. It was so nice to finally get to speak with her and I ho[pe she realizes that she’s not alone alone. She has lost her soul mate, but has gain many, many friends and I hope she remember, She is never alone not only because of God, but she has all of us that can relate, to her story, her illness, but also, her courage and strength and faith in God she shows all of here friends in this blog and neighbors and trust that we are all praying for her and know where ever her journey takes her a little part of us will be with her. in our thoughts and prayers. And thank you again for this wonderful blog. God Bless You (I have one question: are you still dancing. And how is Patrick’s mother? I send her my love and prayers as well, we just aren’t suppose to lay our children to rest .)
My husband passed 2 years ago. This may sound strange but I read everything I could find about you and Patrick. I was comforted by how similar I felt to you and your situation. I am still traveling this path that I never wanted to know. I too know my husband is with me daily and the readings fill my heart with with his love and closeness to me always. What I realized about a year ago is that I needed to discover why I was still here. I had this experience for a reason, what is the reason? I tuned into my spirtual self and stared realizing that I still had a purpose here without out the biggest part of my heart no longer visible to me. You are there Lady. I am sure Patrick is proud of you but it is time for YOU to be proud of you. They don’t go far but they give us wings.
I am starting to feel that, too.
Hi Lisa,
What a beautiful way to celebrate Patrick’s life. It’s good to hear that you felt so close to him.
I am so glad you found a lovely and private place to do this special thing. The white roses are beautiful!
I was thinking of you a lot last Friday…I had my own way of celebrating his life by watching his movies/interviews etc and by lighting a candle for him and also for you and I cried….
I think…no I am sure Patrick is very proud of you..proud of who you are and what you do! You go, Girl!
Love,
Ineke
Lisa, I am new at this but have been reading your blog since your started. The message above is from me. I had the wrong email (mistake). Just read all your friends comments. They all have incredible hearts.
Sioux again.
Hello Lisa, My husband passed 2 years ago. This may sound strange but I read as much as I could about your life and trials with Patrick. It was a kind of therapy after my husband passed. How you felt (the good , the bad and the ugly) was a surprising comfort to me. I was not alone. Everyone around me was living a “normal” life. Didn’t they know my would never be normal again. I am still traveling this path that I never wanted to know. I too know my husband is with me daily. The readings I have fill my heart with a love and comfort that make me smile. I finally got to a point that I had to ask “Why am I still here when the biggest part of my heart is gone?” I went into my spiritual self and searched. I have acutally realized I still have things to teach and to learn.
You are such a talented lady with so much more to give. The fact you share your feelings openly is such a gift to those of us that relate so well to you. As our loved ones become invisable in our world they give us wings to soar, knowing they are with us every step of the way. Thank you. Sioux
I am rocking my baby to sleep after a fussy evening, such a beautiful moment you shared.
Every time I get a chance to read your blog I am so inspired by your strength.
Thanks for sharing
I read your post with joy and recognition of the clear message throughout – its about you now, LIsa – no restraint or limitation to your expression. We embrace your journey with you.
Hi Lisa,
I thought of you and Patrick on this day and learned how near is going grief with joy. I attended a funeral of a former pensioned colleague of me (died also on cancer) and at the same time another colleague married.
Did you receive my package with a calendar and a pendant I was sending you in June/July?
I have another question: As I said before we are planning a trip to California next year. Our plan of the route is almost ready. Do you think that it is possible without any stress to drive ca. 1.070 miles in 10 days from Las Vegas via Death Valley and Yosemite over San Francisco on the Highway 1 to Los Angeles? Thank you very much in advance.
Melanie
Yes, I received your package. Very thoughtful and wonderful. As far as your driving ideas, I wouldn’t know! Personally, I’d be flying the route instead of driving!
Thank you for the quick answer. I wish you all the best for your future. Will think of you now and then.
Best regards, Melanie
Dear Barbara ,
I know that your journey would be safe because there is LOVE waiting for you…Watch yourself during this road,have enough strenght to look back and see that we are all coming, too…one by one…step by step….just in different moment in time….someone today…someone tomorow….Its important that you have someone waiting for you there and someone who will miss you here…..
Dear Barbara ,
I know that your journey would be safe because there is LOVE waiting for you…Watch yourself during this road,have enough strenght to look back and see that we are all coming, too…one by one…step by step….just in different moment in time….somebody today…somebody tomorow….Its important that you have someone waiting for you there and someone who will miss you here…..
Natasha, thank you so much – that was so beautifully written.
i loved your story.and how it was meant for you to find or should i say be lead to that special place.for you to say what was on your mind to patrick.i was thinking of you all that day.praying something good would happen for you.and as i read your post.how amazeing god is.and you are such a wonderful lady.god bless you.and like the lil birdie said spread those wings and fly
For Melanie – Although I’m currently living in the UK some years ago I was in the USA working in the travel industry and as a Tour Director travelling with tour groups including by road on the route you mention many times! We were on tour buses carrying around 50 people not travelling by car and I was the guide not the driver! However we comfortably drove the route in around the time you mention – but there is so much to see in an ideal world I would take as much time as you can to spend more time exploring beautiful places like Yosemite, etc. There is a health warning at Yosemite at present so I would advise contacting them in advance for any guidelines related to that so you are prepared. I personally would not want to break down in places like Death Valley in mid-summer without plenty of water, hat, sunscreen, full breakdown insurance and a working mobile phone/cell phone or in the winter or at night when being prepared for opposite extreme of temperature could apply. As for Highway One from San Francisco via the coast it is an extremely dangerous quite narrow road with lethal curves for something like sixteen miles or more as I recall. The cliffs are littered with crashed vehicles which have come to grief there in the past. However it is also extremely beautiful with breathtaking views through places like Big Sur – so drive carefully and take in the views at the rest stop viewing areas along the way. If possible it is not a trip to rush – Las Vegas and San Francisco alone merit at the very least a few days each or preferably more to explore just the main sights! If time is of the essence or Los Angeles your main interest my advice would be just fly to LAX! Hope this helps your planning for your upcoming trip! For Barbara Maffett I asked in my message of August 17th for an update after the operation to remove large ovarian mass and I also am so sorry that the outcome has not been benign as the doctors and all involved had been hoping. The messages from Lisa, Tani, Joan Knight and others here have all expressed my thoughts and prayers for you Barbara. A very brave decision re no chemo and I hope that you have the time you would wish for as pain free as possible and able to do the most important things and see the people you would want if your destiny is to be with your beloved husband – we will be thinking of you on the second anniversary of his passing on October 2nd. It is very strange that the outcome can be so different to the predicted outcome in these situations – in my August 17 comment I mentioned that my mother had a very similar operation when the doctors offered extremely little hope but miraculously it turned out to be benign. My Dad survived many dramatic life threatening accidents and extreme dangers by apparent miracles but when he died there was no apparent reason even after Post Mortem which is currently still ” undetermined” with open criminal investigation file thirteen years and much investigation later. What I have learned is that even in death there is an important purpose – as in Patrick’s case and hard work by Lisa changes are made which can help others and save lives in the future, the campaign following my father’s death has changed medical procedures and laws in the United Kingdom, etc. Barbara’s brave “no chemo” decision may help others facing a similar choice in the future and help others in many ways including to make the most of the time we have. To Lynn, facing similar surgery in around 2 weeks, all good wishes and prayers also. To Lisa many congratulations to you and to all involved for the great achievement announced on twitter this week re the Pancreatic Cancer Campaign and the very best of luck for the ongoing battle. The best possible tribute to Patrick near the 3rd anniversary of his passing and he is certain to be extremely proud of the achievement and still fighting hard alongside you in support of your campaign and in his name. Our loved ones never leave us they just sometimes go on ahead of us for a time so we can work together from a different perspective. Of course this is so painful but a little less so when we believe it is only the physical form which has gone and know they are still very much in the present, not only in our past memories of yesterday. Patrick is still very much remembered and in the UK “Dirty Dancing” was on TV yesterday and will be again on Monday, with “Roadhouse” showing on TV on Tuesday as well as “Ghost” the same night – in case anyone reading this wants to catch these hit movies of Patrick’s once again in the next few days! As I typed this last sentence I had to go back and add the “e” on the end of “same” – I had first written “Ghost” the SAM night !!!… x
Dear Lynn,
Thank you very much for your support. We would like to go next May/June to California. We would like to fly from Germany to Las Vegas, spent there 2 days and then drive for 1 night to the Death Valley (Furnace Ranch) and the next morning to Yosemite. For San Francisco we planned 2 days too, 1 night in Monterey and 1 night at Pismo Beach or San Luis Obispo and also 2 days in Hollywood. From there we will fly to a next destination (Carribean Sea or Mexico). I heard already that I should not spent so much time in L.A., because it is not so nice, but I am so interested to see the much interesting points in Hollywood. For my husband it is important to book a comfortable car like a Midsize SUV.
Best regards, Melanie
Hey lynn i knew dd and roadhouse was on but what channel is ghost on? God i could play a part ive seen them so many times have all the dvds and still hate it when i miss them on tv! My 5yr old son was in class last wk and they were asked to stand up and think of a word that starts with ‘p’ he stood up and said patrick swayze lol he said the teacher was smiling! Lol xx
Oh and thankyou lynn and lisa for the thoughtfull warm wishes, it means so much as i feel anxious as im keeping it bottled up as not to distress my family they dont know the full details of the op they think its just a routine thing, i remember lisa saying she let patrick have one more day before telling him thats the way im thinking my mums nearly 80 and if she knew this was a remotely suspect op it would crush her! Same for my boys, im not gonna worry anyone untill i have to fingers crossed i wont have to! Thanks girls!xx
Lynn, I appreciate your words more than you can ever imagine. Only God holds my future and I have complete faith and trust in Him as to what I will be facing. Thank you so much.
Lynn, I am so sorry – I just read your post on the previous month’s blog – thank you so much for your words of encouragement.
Your ceremony was so tender, profound and private that I couldn’t help it…. i cried…
Love is more than the physical atraction…. Your beautiful example in this post is the best teaching how to love someone in a deep spiritual way…thanks for this post. My girlfriends are with me and they felt the same sensation…..and of course your love for that man
loves…
Dear Lisa,
i saw the video of House of Representativies this morning and i was so deeply moved !I admire all of the people who worked so hard to acomplish their mission and especially your attitude is fantastic because you give all of your heart in your work and you are such a tireless and amazing woman.You are such a fighter as the same way as Patrick was.He surely is very happy and very proud of you watching over you from heaven.And i´m sure that Patsy and Donny and all of the family is very proud of you , too lady!You achieved a great thing Lisa!Did you think about directicting movies again in the future?I think it would be great for you because you are very talented artist.
Thank you for being my huge example of life.
Sending you much love and best wishes to you,
§
Thank you, Marcela. It’s my honor to help in what way I can against this terrible disease. I’ll be a happy lady when we beat this thing.
And yes, I’d love to direct again. It’s at the top of my list of things I enjoy. Thanks!
Lisa i hope you can find a bit of joy in your own projects.You are a fantastic lady and rember we all fans love so much.Big hugs
Your writing is so beautiful! Thank you for sharing such a wonderfull tribute to your husband so moving and emotional, you’re very brave in sharing this on your blog.
Me and my mum read your book last month and both found it very inspirational my mum is a very big fan of yours and Patricks, as am I also of course! One of the best books i’ve read, just so amazing and how hard it must have been! It’s such a touching story and so beautifully written. Wishing all the best and lots of love Natalie x x x
Thank you Lisa for sharing this and I am glad you found this special place.
I am hoping that I will find a similar place, maybe when I walk in the woods this Fall I will find something. I love the Fall colors and need to take time for myself and reflect on special moments that I shared with my mother and most recently I had to say goodbye to my sweet cat Kaylie.
Having to make the decision to put to sleep my cat brought back many of the feelings I had when my mother passed away. It was not easy to have to say goodbye to my cat who helped me get through the rough times in life. It is amazing the special bond I shared with her. When I had to make the decision to stop all treatment for my mother …having to make a similar decision again, did that hurt ever return back to me. I thought I was making really good progress in battling this Grief but it has returned once again. Or was it always there??? Does the hurt ever stop??? Yes I now feel the loss of my sweet cat and my mom both at the same time. Part of me is lost. Will I find that part again??? I guess I am back on that emotional roller coaster ride again.
I feel many long walk are in my future and I hope I find a place like Walden Pond. Maybe if I do I will also feel recharged again.
Great story and thanks for sharing Lisa.
It is a roller coaster ride. But it does get much easier to manage. Still, something can happen and it’ll take you back like it was only yesterday you suffered the loss. But at least when you go back up, it’s higher than before. Thank, God!
Lisa you are so right! I had a week of thinking how will I ever carry on again. Then I told myself that I really need to get back on this crazy ride and hang on. Well today I received some great news and I feel so much better. So I am back up again! Plus I did take a long walk in the woods with all the beautiful fall colors and the walk was next to a lake which starting me thinking about your visit to Walden Pond. My walk was peaceful, and gave me that so badly needed energy to make me understand that life can be tough and I need to enjoy some of the more simple things.
Your story gave me some great advise.
Thanks Lisa!
Thank you! XXL
Oh Lisa, what a wonderfull ceremony! I was thinking of you and Patrick a lot at this day. And I was worrying how you would gonna make that day and the weeks and days before, knowing that this day will coming soon. Now, after reading your block I am so reliefed and realy glad that you found this wonderfull place for this inspiring ceremony. And I am deeply impressed by the way you came out of this, with open mind, empowered, optimistic… So let the birdy fly and if it need some birdseed, just let me know. I would be happy to serve it.
All the best from Kerstin.
Lisa, I just read your heart touching story. My niece just lost her soul-mate last Wednesday.. I know your message will mean so much to her. Would you mind if I share it with her? Mary Lou
Of course.
Hi everyone! Just responding to a few of the comments to me here since a few days ago! Unfortunately Lynn I didn’t see your question in time to answer before “Ghost” was shown in the UK on Tuesday evening at ten pm on Sky 1 – for Sky subscribers only but RoadHouse was on freeview 5 USA at 9 pm so at least everyone could see Patrick in one of his movies or the other at more or less the same time! I loved your story about your 5 year old son and “P” for Patrick Swayze! Another young girl I know asked her mother – a friend of mine – if the song “P.S. I Love You” was short for “Patrick Swayze I Love You” ?!!… And why not!!! The same young schoolgirl got very high grades at school for dance thanks to her admiration of Patrick.Her school geve her a prize which was to travel to London to see any musical of her choice in the West End. She chose to go to the same theatre in Picadilly where Patrick had starred in “Guys and Dolls” which was the nearest to Patrick she could be that day. The musical showing there at the time was “Grease” a musical in which Patrick had also starred on Broadway so she had a very happy day. It is wonderful how Patrick continues to inspire young children through work he did years before they were even born. For that young girl, Patrick was like a father to her inspiring her at a time when her own parents were divorcing and her life was so unhappy that without Patrick in her life she could easily have gone under – as it was through Patrick she managed to fly very high and excel and survive. That little birdie flying again… Patrick’s generous spirit helps and supports whenever needed, God Bless him. My heart goes out to you and Barbara and we all send our healing thoughts to you both and hopes for your positive outcome from surgery shortly Lynn. So difficult to know when or if to warn your elderly mother, your children and other close family members of the real risks involved but you do need to confide in someone and Lisa’s blog is a safe harbour for support and love. A friend of mine who was only in her early 20’s at the time of an upcoming breast cancer operation at the time, was diagnosed when in the early stages of pregnancy, expecting twins. She decided to continue with the pregnancy and delay the operation and chemo until after they were born and because of that sadly she did not make it. However she told everyone that she might not make it even if she had terminated the pregnancy and had the cancer op earlier so at least she wanted to give her twin girls the chance of life. She decided to make a video ( as back then, not DVD) for her baby girls to watch when they were old enough, to tell them how much she loved them and to give them some personal thoughts to carry through their future lives without her physical presence in their lives. Perhaps if you are not able to talk in depth to your family as you would like before your operation it might help to make a short video even on mobile cellphone for your family. Of course there is every hope that you will come through your operation and make a good recovery but it might make you feel more at peace going into your operation that you have every eventuality covered and can convey your love for your family that way and perhaps explain to them why you haven’t wanted to fully tell them of the risks in advance. The hope is that your video will never be needed and that you will make a good recovery and we all pray for that positive outcome for you Lynn, hoping to hear good news when you are able. For Barbara I wish you love and strength and pain free time to do some or all the things you most want to do and see all the people you want to be with during this time before you see your beloved husband again, which is certainly something wonderful to look forward to when the time does come, peacefully we pray. We know your faith in God will carry you through. Maybe you will also meet Patrick! I am sure you will still be able to read Lisa’s blog whenever you feel like it as I have no doubt Patrick does! I hope both you and Lynn will keep us in touch with how things are going for you if you can and have the time.xx As I think Patrick said once, ( in different exact words), but the gist of it was, that as soon as we are born we are all ultimately destined to pass over at one time or another. So the message of Walden Pond which Lisa highlighted, to follow through our ideas while we can or someone else will do it instead is a good one for everyone – in the UK there is the saying that you never know when you could unexpectedly be “run over by a bus”!!! – ( are UK bus drivers that lethal!!!???!!!) A friend who passed with cancer once said that her death would not be in vain if it reminded those not yet knowingly facing the final curtain would take the message not to waste time “fussing and fighting” ( as in the Beatles song “We Can Work It Out”), but to live as fully as possible while we can and while we still have good health and time on our side. Lisa has highlighted the essence of this message for us in this latest blog about her beautiful visit there for Patrick. How about the idea of all of us who want to and who read this, sharing at least achievement in the spirit of this message – to follow through on our ideas and inspirations – which we may each succeed with, in honour and memory of Patrick, say by Christmas this year – however big and ambitious, or seemingly small and “quiet” in nature? – Just an idea! And thinking of you Lynn, and Barbara, and all those going through such difficult times, and of the families going through it with and after them, like Lisa. God Bless xxx
For Melanie your planned holiday itinerary sounds great and I’m sure your road trip will be an amazing adventure for both you and your husband and give you some great experiences together to remember all your lives! The ranch you have chosen to stay at in Death Valley has a very interesting history, as you know. Monterey Bay Aquarium is another highlight along the way.So much to see and do in San Francisco! Chinatown there is good too but in two days just the main sights might be enough! The tour groups I worked with would watch videos when all there was to see in the desert was another cactus!! Of Patrick’s movies on that route they enjoyed “Father Hood” with Patrick ‘s character on the run with his children from Las Vegas through the Grand Canyon and scenes at the Hoover Dam, etc! And they also enjoyed Patrick’s movie “Forever Lulu” ( in the UK also known as “Along For The Ride”) with Patrick’s character driving from Los Angeles to Wisconsin with Melanie Griffith as Lulu! En route to Las Vegas they liked Patrick’s film “Waking Up In Reno” ! In Las Vegas Patrick and Lisa were photographed at the opening of Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino several years ago. Loads of fun things to do and see around Hollywood including the usual highlights and also Patrick’s star on the Walk of Fame and Patrick’s Dirty Dancing waxwork at Madame Tussauds which was opened by Lisa ( I’m not sure if Patrick’s “Ghost” waxwork is still on display, or not). May is a good time for your holiday into early June – after that into July and August it really scorches in Death Valley!! Have a great holiday and half the fun is looking forward to it and planning it all I think! Isn’t life as much about the journey, as the destination!?! Lol xx
Hey Lynn. While your posts are wonderful, they need to be much shorter (a fraction of what’s here), otherwise they are very difficult to read! Break them up into smaller posts/thoughts, rather than put everything down at one time! Many thanks! XXX
Lisa, received notification that the PC bill had changed a little. I hope for the best. Then saw you note saying the bill had passed…what a blessing! You have to be very proud that your efforts have been rewarded thus far. I’m sure Patrick was saying “that’s my girl!!” You’ve worked so hard to help make this happen. You have to be very pumped! One of my best friends was just diagnosed w/breast cancer yesterday. It just seems like there should be a common cure for all the various cancers!! We’ll just have to keep praying for that day to come. I thought you would have been on “Stand Up 2 Cancer” this year, I missed you not being there(not like you’re not busy enough as it is). Thanks for sharing your life w/all of us.
Being an animal lover yourself, just wanted to share last weekend experience w/you. Bought a canal home in the Galveston area. Not being set up completely yet, my 105lb yellow lab fell off the boat dock. After both he and I were totally exausted from trying to get him back on dry land…a neighbor had to call the pollice to help me because I would not let go and watch him drown After he went completely uncer, I put one of those orange live jackets around his neck and just held on for the longest time. He must have known I was really trying hard to save him, because he just laid his big head over on the side of the vest and let me hold him. Yea, I’ve totally lost it. I appologized profusely for taking up the officer’s time with me and my silly dog…… but I would have gone down with that ship.
I think your dog was every bit worth the officer’s time (I bet you he would agree also)!
Happily, our bill did pass through the House of Representatives. But it still has to get through the Senate! Since everyone is in recess now, this might happen after the elections. Argh! It’s a nail-biter. Still need to wish us the best of luck.
Dear Barbara,
I can see you’re a brave woman, who has very clearly your decission for no chemo and it’s a very difficult decission, but i’m sure you had made the best for your “quality of life”. God is big and you will be accompany for him and for all of us. All us thoughts are with you. I wish you the best and good luck my friend.
From Spain i send you a lot of possitive energy and a big kiss.
Maite Sánchez
Ditto to Barbara. I’ve run into several people who have opted to not have treatment also. They say there a lot to say for “going with grace.” I have no doubts that Barbara will be surrounded by grace in her journey.
Thank you so very much – I pray I can have the attitude and grace that my husband had once he decided “No more chemo”. He was amazing. I have no fear of dying but like everyone else, do not want to go through the process. I just pray for strength to get me through it because I am at peace with my decision. I appreciate all of your beautiful comments and cherish all of them. Love all of you. I go to the doctor on the 8th so I will report more on his prognosis. Barbara
XXXL
Thank you so much!
Hey Lisa, I have been thinking about dear Patrick and you alot these past couple of days, hope all is well with you, you look wonderful and I hope you feel just as wonderful inside and fingers crossed this bill gets passed through the senate real soon… Love ya, hugs as always Joanna xx
Much love to Barbara, Lynn and wishing that for you both also. Yes Lisa, you’re right! On that last one I was trying to respond to several different people at once and would perhaps have been better to email them individually but no email addresses to do that! In future will try to break them up/make them shorter!! How did your Macon Symposium go? Liked the photo you posted from there in front of typical Georgia house! Shades of “North and South”!?!…Still enjoy watching Patrick in that. Lol xxx
Macon went very well! Thanks!
The red wine is good there too!!! (Macon, France!!!) And Lisa, your secret is safe with us – you already told us about that beautiful serene prince who strolled by the pool in command of his surroundings , as in your pic of September 8 on Twitter! Agree very cute!! Lol!! xxx
Dear Lisa, had heard about the new man in your life! I do know that you are feeling very lonely and want to feel the Love again …. but unfortunately must tell you …. there is no man who can ever replace Patrick! I do know that Patrick wants you to be happy again … but right now .. I Have some strange feelings…it dosn`t feel good to see you with this other man…Please forgive me to say this .. but this is really true for me!
It remains true. Patrick is irreplaceable, and will always be.
Dear Lisa, thanks for your answer! Hope so much that my words don`t make you sad! I`m sending you all my Best Wishes…. may all good things be yours in the future! I do know that you will love Patrick forever and so does he ….. you arn`t alone he is at your side with every step you do!
Hugs from Regine
XX L
You loved… LOVE your husband, you would have him here in a heartbeat if you could, that will never change, most people know that. You have suffered, you have grieved (still are) and you will forever for your Buddy, but life does go on and if you are able to love again, you are very blessed! You were with Patrick for over 34 years, but you could have that same amount of time left here! You deserve to find happiness. I have two aunts that have gone through the same type of loss, were with my uncles since teenagers, one married over 40 yrs. They have also found love and companionship again, but it doesn’t mean they don’t love, miss and think about their husbands everyday. I respect what other people feel, change is hard for anyone! You are not replacing Patrick, you have traveled a long journey; starting long before his passing. Embrace whatever life has to offer! I wish you nothing but the best!
Thank you, it’s so true. And true that change can be hard for people. I’d be the first to readily admit that – painfully so!
Lisa, that is really good news that you have found someone else to care about. Your wayyyy to smart, full of life, pretty and caring, to go through the rest of your life alone!! But GOD help the guy trying to fill the SWAYZE boots!! And I do mean any of them! I’ll change my prayers and pray for him….LOL
Are you planning on dropping us? You know you could still share your life with all of us……I guess that’s sort of selfish on all of our parts, but you have become such an important messenger to all of us that follow you in so many ways. I hope all works out for you.
Love from Texas
What a wonderful thing to say, Brenda. I’d certainly like to keep sharing. Just trying to find my feet, ya know? Everything’s been a lot for me to handle lately!
I fully agree
We seek not to replace our loved ones, but to love.
Be happy for new light and the hope of happiness for all.
Suffering knows no bounds yet does not bring back the dead.
Our loved ones remain in our hearts forever.
Lovely and true. L
“We seek not to replace our loved ones, but to love. Be happy for new light and the hope of happiness for all. Suffering knows no bounds yet does not bring back the dead. Our loved ones remain in our hearts forever.”
It couldn’t be said any better than that. My husband was diagnosed at a young age shortly before Patrick and we were so sad about Patrick also. My husband didn’t even last as long as Patrick did. I am so happy that you have been able to find another love, Lisa. It is so true that it can be a new light and that we seek not to replace our loved ones but to love again. They will be in our hearts forever ’til we meet them again.
Indeed
Dear Lisa,
It’s time for you to met another man, you’re young yet and you can trying to prove a new couple or friend. I can imagine there will be people here that this comment of yours does like nothing, cause some people only can imagine you living alone without Patrick. That’s isn’t like that. You deserve to live a new love, an ilusion in your live for the grief will be far away of you. You said, I’m keeping this in private, and i think you do it very well. My support is always with you, and it had passed too much time, too much time with hurt, with lonely, with guilty’s feelings and now you’re at time to begin a new life. I’m agree very much for you, It’s better for you. Feelings towards a ancien couple for you had give almost four years in your life and you’re fighting yet for the cause of PC. It doesn’t asking more than you’re doing for this disease. Go on girl, be happy and enjoy your life.
My best wishes in this and all my love for you for your dignity and honesty.
PS, Please go on with this blog, it’s loving and amazing. Thanks,
Maite Sánchez
Hi Lisa,
i just wanted to say good luck to you, i have seen that there are a few of Patricks fans that aren’t happy that you are trying to move on in your life, .. I think your new man is a keeper, if he is big enough to take you on, with the history and the love story that you and Patrick shared, well in my book that man is a brave soul. I heard you when you said that you hoped you would find love again, and that you wanted to be open to love, but I also heard he would have to understand your heart has gone … I hope you kept a small chunk of heart for yourself to share.. no body could ever replace your hunni and i bet you wouldn’t want them to try..
The best way to honor your love and marriage is to be happy.
I wish you all the luck and happiness you can get, stay strong!
gina xxx
Ditto Gina, I so agree with what you are saying. Lisa you deserve some happiness in your life. As much as you/ we all loved Patrick and I’m sure it was a big step for you to even contemplate a new relationship you do have to begin to move on …baby steps. Lisa you do not have to listen or prove anything to any of us, you must live your own life and persue your own happiness. You have shown in life and after his death your love for Patrick. We all know how much you loved and still love him, and no one can ever replace the love you feel for him. You(and the fans) must come to accept a new chapter in your life . As long as you are happy with your choice then we are happy for you. Deep down you know Patrick would want the same for you. I saw in our reg news: Patrick Swayze’s widow finds love again. My thought: too bad they had to find out, it would have been nice to keep it private for as long as possible. I personally am happy for you and Albert? Much love to you both enjoy your time together and be open to possibilities, if it’s right you will know. Remember you are in charge of your own destiny. Be happy and enjoy each moment. As always love, light and rainbows to you.xoxo Nadine
Yes, it’s kind of crazy. How can anyone ever think that P can ever be gone from my life, and my heart? He’s there forever. It’s not something I can ever erase. Like I said in this blog – as I heal, I feel even closer to him. Thanx, L
Lisa, it is strange – that is how I feel – as time passes, I am feeling more and more closer to Jack than ever before – maybe it is because of my own prognosis.
Like I said in this blog – as I heal, I feel even closer to him. Thanx, L
Lisa,
I feel the same way. Going on 4 years since my hubby passed and I feel closer to him all the time, also. I actually do things with my life and say to myself how I am sure that is what he would have wanted me to do. They will be in our hearts daily forever no matter how we move on. They would want us to move on and be happy with our lives and never forget them at the same time.
May you heal and all of the other widows out there.
Cyndi
Wonderful. Thanks, L
Lisa, I’m so verry happy to hear you have found happiness once again. You certainly are deserving of it. I wish you nothing but the best. So many of my “new friends” on this blog are interested in how my appointment went today. Nothing has changed basically – he gives me possibly a year and even with chemo, there is only a 30 to 40% survival rate – not too high, is it? That is why I am foregoing it – whatever time I have left and God is the only one who knows that, I do not want to be sick the entire time from chemo effects. I thank all of you for all of your beautiful remarks written to me and I cherish all of them. Much love and happiness to all of you…….Barbara
And sending you more love, Barbara. XL
Ditto, Barbara, we’re all praying for you…I hope I will have the same strength as you, if (or when) it happens to me. I have a friend that just went throught a dbl mascetomy and struggling with her…she is in sooo much pain..God help us all.
Hi Lisa,
Bought your book at the weekend.Thank you for your honesty.Going through my own cartoon here at the moment,I guess I wanted to see what it’s like looking in the other direction (from a loved ones perspective)and didn’t know much about both of you.Hugs to you from Waterford City,Ireland.
Maria Raftis Kennedy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eium3rkUsIM
Dx aged 38,married with four daughters
I think that Patrick’s fans are devastated, but if they really respect him, then they should understand that because of his obvious, deep, deep love for you Lisa, he would always want you to be happy. Perhaps if they examined their feelings honestly, they may consider that Patrick could actually be disappointed in their reactions. As Gina says, you are honouring yours and Patrick’s love by wanting to feel such emotions once again. No-one has the right to villify you for this. They should ask themselves who was actually in the relationship with Patrick, who knew him best for virtually all his life? Certainly not them. You’ve been and I’m sure will continue to be, very tolerant and respectful of their feelings, you deserve the same.
I must confess I’ve never had dreams of Patrick before (not for want of trying lol!), but a few nights ago I dreamed that Patrick was sitting on a chair, looking like he was still in his thirties! You were standing behind him with your hands on his shoulders, laughing, because as I was walking past, I went to ruffle up his hair and his reaction was “Hey, don’t mess up the hair!” No idea if that was what his reaction would have been, but it amused me anyway!
Sending you many, many best wishes. Be happy!
xxx
I love that dream! Sounds so positive. XL
Lisa is so beautiful that love is wonderful of you who seem fairytale.
A unique without love, without limits. I really admire because Patrick had someone beside her brilliant and no doubt he has much more proud of you!
Congratulations husband had and congratulations person you are ..
That my love for my boyfriend is gorgeous and timeless as yours.
Just read about the new man in your life. It is the best what could happen to you. Nobody should go through life alone! I am so happy for you and the man at your side! Wish both of you all the best and that you will be happy again!
FOR LYNN: Thank you very much for your support! Planning this journey means such a huge joy for me. After visiting New York in 2011 visiting California is the second dream since my childhood. I would love to be an American, sometimes I think I was born in the wrong country ;-(. After realization of my traveling dreams am ready to get pregnant, I am 37 then, I hope it will work.
Love, Melanie
Lisa,
I was browsing the local library one day a couple of weeks ago for a book to read and picked up Time of My Life. What an amazing, captivating story. All I’ve been able to do since then is think about your love story with Patrick. How did you have that kind of love? How did it endure? How does one find love like that?
Then, this weekend Dirty Dancing was on when I was home alone caring for my special needs son. I went back to the library and found Worth Fighting For. It’s sitting next to me. Can’t wait to read it!
Love and prayers to you, always – you are an amazing woman.
Rachel
Aw, thank you, Rachel. And a good relationship? It takes lot of work and commitment. I have been a very lucky woman. But I (and Patrick) had to work at our good luck. And it was well worth it.
I finished the book yesterday! Wow… thank you for sharing those precious moments and your inner-most thoughts during such a difficult time with your readers. I can only hope it was part of the (ever on-going) healing process for you to get those thoughts and memories onto paper.
I loved how you said about not knowing Patrick was going to be the love of your life, and how you wouldn’t have dared suppose it at the beginning. The commitment to your marriage (through everything) is, was, and will be an encouragement to so many of us “young marrieds.” Patrick was so lucky to have you by his side!
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my comment, it means so, so much.
Love,
Rachel
I’m thinking of the day she answer my .. HAHA
I will not believe.
???????
For Lynn, who was asking on September 22 when Patrick’s movie “GHOST” is on TV in the UK, the film will be showing this coming Sunday 21 October on Channel 4 (10.30pm-12.55am). Still praying for you re your surgery and recovery, and also Barbara, and that you are well enough for as long as possible to do the most important things you would love to do and spend your time as you would wish. I for one hope you will continue to update us on how you are if you feel like sharing that from time to time as you have done. Also, of course, Lisa! And Melanie, how exciting for you to be planning your trip to California, and your plans for new baby after that – a friend of mine had her first baby a few years ago at aged 37. I always felt the same as you do, very drawn to the USA, and travelling there seemed like “coming home” for me – then I found out something I hadn’t known before, that one of my grandparents was born in the USA and that I have close family there! America never disappoints and I am sure your trip will be special and memorable. Trying to keep this on the shorter side so just one thought – I think you said people had been telling you that LA does not need much time, just a couple of days… Well it depends on how interested you are in the world of movies, etc. Just Universal Studios can take up an entire day and is a highlight for many visitors! Take as much time as you can afford, I would say! Then you can always plan to return, and maybe head to San Diego as well another time. For me the travel job was a way of getting to California, as I had worked in film in the UK and wanted to make contacts in that business in the US, and that worked out well for me. Don’t forget to let us have news of your holiday when you get back from California Melanie, wish you all the best!! x Ditto to Lisa, and to all “new friends” here! xxx
Dear Lisa,
So pleased that you found someone to share your life with again.
You are a very special women and deserve to be happy and to be able to share that happiness is what life is all about.
I have read both your books and the strength and the courage you have is amazing.
Your new love is very lucky he has you in his life!
Wishing you all the best Lisa ; )
Ann
Do keep sharing with us Lisa.
We are on the journey with you!
One step at a time.
All the best, Lilly
My husband of 36 years passed on Sept. 11, 2012 from liver CA. I had always let a book “find” me at the library and after key wording in, “grief books” etc., yours was the only one that would come up after numerous tries, so I requested it. He was my best friend also and what you wrote about YOUR feelings AND the poems, could have been about me. We, too did hospice after radiation and chemo, but he was gone within a week. Reading your story helped me to feel that I am normal and that at some point in my life I will get through this awful, daily feeling of loss. For me it is fresh and raw, but I continue to get up in the mornings and keep busy. I simply wanted to say ‘Thank you’ for writing this. I know it had to be the hardest thing ever.
Getting through this loss is the hardest thing ever, right? But somehow we find a way to get through each day. I am grateful for every good day I have now, and I do have them, and you will, too. Believe.
Dear Lisa!Some times ago,we tried to get in contact with you on your facebook page to present you a project that is close to our heart.We wondered if you had seen this message?Many fans joined us for you to demonstrate the strength of our motivation to give birth to our association to help the fight against cancer.We can understand you reluctance to this project;especially for the reasons mentioned in your book,the fact that people wrongly use the name of your husband to benefit.OUr sole purpose is to support research,involving the image of Patrick tribute to him and because he is an example of courage and determination for many patients.We have made contact with your brother-in-law DON SWAYZE ,who told us he was our project moving and ambitious,and he approved,and he advice us to contact the agent of Patrick,to make approach because of tje legal right to the image.It is obvious that we want to stay within the law.But we want above all,fot moral reasons,get your trust and agreement.Maybe you could talk to DON for it gives you a feeling about this?Without your help and support nothing is possible!We need you,as research needs all of us to grow.We still remember the speech of Patrick during the evening of Stand Up 2Cancer and what we want today is the ability to continue the battle of Patrick and you,as he wished and also been,and still is, your fight!We hope that you will contact us in order to continue this adventure!!A big thanks for all Lisa and kisses!!!
Dear Team at Swayzangel!
I want to use this chance to thank you so so so very much for all the great work you did and still do on your Facebook site of the French Fan club!
Unfortunately it isn`t possible for me to post commentars directly on the Site… don`t know why… so I use this blog to send you my thank you!
With all this nice work… all the photos and videos and commentars you keep the memory of our beloved
Patrick fresh and alive …. can`t thank you enough for this! Oh what a passion for our beautiful man , he deserves this so so much!
You do what Patrick always want us to do …. you spread the Love …Patrick had given and still gives us so much with all his wonderful work and projects and my Love for him is still growing every day…!
In our hearts he will live forever …. and with your lovely Fan Club you honour him every day!
I love your Fan Club… Hugs and Love to you from Regine!!
Hi Regine!
Thank you very much for your message to me really touched. It is strange that you do can not leave comments on our page ! We try to honor this man in our way, unpretentious but with all the passion we have ! For us, patrick is more than actor, it is above all a man who has affected and still affects us day by day 🙂 Besides the association we are implementing, we permetterai of continue this wonderful project and continue honor him by doing actions to help the search ! In any case I touch your support hugely, it warms the heart !
Aurélie (team swayzangel)
Hello Lisa!
your message touched me deeply, truly amazing!
I agree with you that the body is a clock and when certain important day arrives, manifests his way. 3 years have passed since that Patrick is gone, I think you also desire to take your fly, you learn to be happy again despite his absence “physical” because it has forever remain in your heart. To me you are a courageous! I admire you enormously! I carry you in my heart Lisa, and hope the best for you today.
Hi Lisa,
I’m 17 years old and I have just watched Dirty Dancing for the first time ever. What a remarkable human being Patrick was. After some great recommendation from my father regarding the “North and South” series, I watched Patrick’s great acting skills flourish. I’m sorry to say I never heard of his passing until a short time ago, and even if its late, I want to offer my condolences. I am happy to say that both you and Patrick have inspired me and given me the motivation to join Dance at school very recently. I very much admire your dancing skills. Thank you, and I truly wish you all the best.
Much love, Jackie (Canada)
Lisa,
Fantastic news about your new relationship, bittersweet for some of your followers and you I am sure BUT after having the wonderful opportunity to have spent a little time with you and Patrick when he was here with us I know that he is smiling down at you and hollering at the top of his voice ‘nobody puts my Lisa in the corner!’ You deserve this… Much love and luck to you and keep blogging, you are such an inspiration on so many levels…
Love and hugs always
Jo xxx
Dear Lisa,
I have dream with Patrick last winter and i told you here, it was an amazing dream mixed with remains of my father. However, this summer, in august, i had other dream with him. This dream was very different to other one. I could see only the middle of him, like a photo but more big. He wore in white color and he had around him golden stars. Stars were in gold colour and the rest of the space was full of an incredible and powerfull white light. He talks to me, but i could’t hear him but i know he is telling something good for the sensation of the dream and the peace that dream gaves me to my soul.
I thought it was a sign, as he would talked at me to give me thanks or something . That’s i could feeling. Wonderful dream.
All my love for you and my best wishes. Always with you.
Maite Sánchez
Hi Lisa,
Just me again, wanted to tell you of my dream that I had last night… I was in my mothers home and I just happened to look out of her window to see you, P & 2 children one boy, one girl of approx 6 & 8 years down our road and then in the next instant we were all in a hotel! You guys were trying to keep from being recognised and in my dream I knew that P was ill… Next thing I know I was in your room with you re-introducing myself and asking about the children who were yours, and next thing I knew you told me you were pregnant… It was so real but I was very aware that there was a lot of sadness in the air and that was it! :o( No idea what it meant… I wonder if the reason for my dream was almost sensing the way you have said you were feeling yesterday… although I only just read your tweet…SPOOKY! Hope I don’t sound like a stalker. I like to think my dream is just my way of keeping you in my thoughts and prayers… Hope today is better for you.
Much love always Joanna xxx
Ya me he enterado de que tiene a un hombre especial en su vida. Solo le deseo que sea feliz a su lado, y que pueda seguir compartiendo con las admiradoras de Patrick estos mensajes y bellos momentos que hasta ahora hemos compartido. Dele a esta persona especial saludos de mi parte, y dígale que es un hombre valiente.
Dear Lisa!
That’s very beautiful and inspiring!!
When I read a tear in my eye appeared. This is very sad and very wonderful!
I read your post with bated breath. I relive the moments together with You!
You are amazing, and Patrick will always be with You. He is with you all the time!!
I Never forget this!!! And I hope that all these Wonderful Roses arrive where they should be!:)
You inspire a lot of people Lisa, me included.
Much love and hugs to you! 🙂
Kamila
Poland
Hi Lisa,
As we know grief is not kind. Just when we think we have begun to get some control back in our lives it springs up again. You are right, it has a mind and timiing of it’s own.(hate that) You have proven yourself to be a lady of great courage. Myself, I think it does take courage to move forward with a new life and love. New is fun, exciting and full of wonder. The courage comes by taking another chance but remembering that your life with Patrick will always be in your heart and a huge part of you always. (After 2 years I wish I was that brave.)
Don’t let guilt from yourself or any other source dictate who you are and how you live your life. I know you know when you smile Parick smiles. (I hope I am not speaking out of place.)
Keep smiling Pretty Lady
Sioux
Santa Cruz, CA
Thanks, Sioux.
Hi lisa,
I hoped telling my dream here hadn’t disturb you. I didn’t do before because i was on holiday when that happened, and i didn’t entry in the blog. Then there were people here with many healthy’s troubles. I tought then it was more important, to help them ,to support them with my comments or our comments and Patrick’s dream will go in other moment most better.
I’m sorry if my last comment about dream could making feel you sad or something. That wasn’t my intention.
I am a very sincerely person, and i like people will be the same with me. Only that, thanks and good luck.
My best wishes and love for you Lisa.
Maite Sánchez
Not at all, Maria! It didn’t make me sad. SL
Hey Lisa,
Sounds like today has been a good day! Brilliant… Keep smiling and inspiring lovely lady!! ;o)
Love ya,
Joanna xx
Dear Lisa….I thought you might enjoy this:
http://www.marbleswiththoreau.com/
It is a short movie, but it emphasizes the magic that each of us have in our lives and the ‘wealth’ that we sometimes overlook. It is all about perspective.
My best,
Catherine
I’m from Brazil and I admire Lisa Niemi
Nossa desde quando tem isso ? ¬¬
I’ve just recently started reading your blog having just found out about it. I lost my husband to liver cancer, he only lived about 5 months after we found out that he had it. I had read The Time of My Life before that and was moved by how much the two of you loved each other and fought to stay together. My life wasn’t all roses either, he had a drinking problem, but we worked on staying together as well. When your book, Worth Fighting For came out, I had to get a copy of it. Reading it felt somewhat like what my life was when Dick was sick. He couldn’t get a transplant, his cancer was in stage IV when we found out. He had two masses on his liver so chemo was out too. Your fight was way longer than mine was, but, I also wished that Dick would have been here longer. I think his life was taken sooner than it should have because he fell and hit his head. This caused him to have a brain bleed and he only lasted a couple of days after. You are such an inspiration to me, helping me to see that it’s ok for me to heal and start to be happy once again. This coming April will be three years and I still think about him all the time. I also believe that he has visited me a couple of times just to see that I’m ok. I think it’s great that you have found someone. There is always room in the heart for more than one love. I don’t think it’s what I want tho, like I told my Dad, I’m not interested in living or being with another man. That might change some day, just not now.
Lisa
this blog is so beautiful. I was thinking about patrick this morning and I can not believe it will be 4 years. Miss him so much. I think its wonderful all the things you do to keep his memory alive. Worth fighting for was truly the best most beautiful book i have ever read. you truly had a beautiful relationship Thank you lisa for keeping us in your life.
Thank you so much, Janelle. and I actually happen to be near Walden Pond again this week. I’m going to grab my swim suit and jump in this time!
Dear Lisa,
I say find Patrick in every way you can.in the sun shining the flowers blooming that breeze across your cheek.keep your faith in him as always and you’ll always have him with you.you shared what most people dream of.I have my own here at home and I cherish everyday with him.every good day and every bad day because we share them together.Not many people get this and I wish for everyone to taste this kind of love at least once in their life.find happiness in everything you do sweety and that in itself will honor buddy.i met him once when I was younger and he told me one thing I will always remember and cherish.that the things we do are what make us.the way we live and that we should never stop trying to be more,to do more and to live more…..he also said I should stay in school and try to be a good girl….I was fifteen at the time and just thought he was weird.didnt know who he was.but he was kind to me and I never forgot that.you were one of the lucky ones you were there when he came into your life and there when he left.prescious memory if you ask me…..oh and he was really funny….lol..take care
That so sounds like him. He was always so kind and supportive to everyone. He’d really go out of his way if he though he could help.
I understand exactly what you done here. I was just a little over 30 years old when my first husband died. I had a girl about 13 years old and I was so lost..so lost and searching and at the same time trying to live because he and I talked and he wanted me to go on living…we knew he was gonna die..He had congestial heart failure and blew the bottom of his heart out. Its nice to be here and talk about it..but anyways he had several strokes…I went through so much…not knowing from day to day what would happen and feeling so lost cause I married when I was barely 17 and had a daughter before I married. It was so hard and I struggled to do the right thing. But there comes a time to put your memories away and let go of the past…when I died I had to come face to face with the fact he was gone and would not be back ..gone forever….I went through depression badly and found The lord and that helped me…but I remember the day when I began to put away the things the few things I had and told myself if I didn’t let go and live I was gonna die and mourn myself to death too…I missed him so bad..I could hear him calling me at night…it was horrible…and tormenting…everyone who knew us was not the same toward me…and I was trying to help my daughter and didnt’ know what to do for her…I went back and got my GED when she was in the 8th grade….and I decided my life had to go on..so I did….two years later I Married my husband now and have been married for going on 22 years now…I struggled at first with feeling I was betraying him but I decided when my thoughts went to the past and the pain began to be unbearable I was going to think on good things and put the past in the past..you have to …to survive and I know many had opinions of me but never understood what I went through..Its like being born and there’s no one can help you and decide for you and you are left alone to survive…But I made it by the grace of Jesus and I am thankful..People dont realize when a spouse you loved dies..they are not coming back and you have to move forward or be tormented by the love you lost forever…I think its wonderful you have moved on Lisa….I have prayed for you cause I know how you feel and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy…Lord bless you…
Lisa you are a smart lady otherwise you wouldn’t be where you are or accomplished what you have…I am glad you found someone and are happy. You deserve it girl….Everybody deserves to be happy….I wish you both the best….congragulations….by the way thats my oldest daughters name Lisa Marie….Love the name….
Thank you so much for your story of “surviving.” It takes everything to do it at a time when one is so broken! Going through it myself, I could see why many spouses follow each other into death. Things happen inside that you have no control over. I waited to see if I would die from grief myself, and then one day… it started getting better. Congratulations on your 22 years of marriage. He must be a good man.