Let’s see… Two weeks ago, I woke up depressed and full of self-loathing, thinking about how I can’t seem to get my life together, and how I’m pitifully paralyzed when I am attempting any task. Seriously. Something that should take me seconds to do would take minutes, and minutes would take hours.
Yes, I have been depressed. The wave that comes in and washes over me, stayed longer than usual.
And when I finally, woefully, pulled myself out of bed, and went into the kitchen to start my same day, the same as yesterday, and the same as this one would end, too, I was thinking about things that had been happening lately, people who had suddenly, and inexplicably, stepped into my life – from the most stellar personalities, to ones that were very, very suspect. It seemed as if life was suddenly throwing odd, and extreme situations at me. Why is this happening to me?
It was not what I was expecting.
But as I went to sit at my kitchen table to open my computer and check the weather and my emails as usual, I couldn’t help but appreciate how incredibly absurd my life was at the moment. How in shambles, how weird and surprising, and how in the last couple days I’d been thrown both gifts, and curve balls, and that I’d managed to field both of these in spite of my malaise was beyond me! And there I was, ready to attempt yet another day. And you know? I thought that maybe, just maybe –
I needed to have a sense of humor about all this.
At that moment I felt caught up in Lila (pronounced Leela). Lila’s a Sanskrit word that is a kind of dancing, a playing with the divine. When Hindu people are asked what Lila means, they will often say that “God created the world in the spirit of Lila, like a child who builds sandcastles, and then, knocks it down and builds it again.”
Hah.
Lila was whacking me around. And I had to laugh, right?
I thought – this might be my new MO – to appreciate the Lila in life, and just have a good chuckle when it’s messing with me.
So, at my kitchen table, I opened my computer, bright morning sun shining in, pouring light over my crazy life. I looked at a song I had downloaded on to my desktop – a saucy, playful song… I turned up the volume,
And I hit play.
As the music boomed out, I got up and danced in my kitchen in my bare feet, robe flipping about. I couldn’t help but break out into a grin; it felt wonderfully ironic, and…so good. And my dogs sat, looking curiously at me (it was a little early to break out into 
full-on dance after all). They were probably hoping that this wouldn’t delay their morning breakfast for too long.
And when the song finished,
I hit play again.
So's my life!
Well Lisa you are a great dancer and your dogs
are your angels. I believe that if u feel to dance each morning , well you can do it
It’ s your life and CARPE DIEM!
Patrick will love watching you dancing from the sky!
Have a wonderful evening Lisa; I would like to be like you : strong and pure
Kisses
Serena
I will be happy to hear that song too. Would you mind let me know the title?
If is just your personal song well I will understand it doesn’t matter!
Serena
I thought about sharing it, but the lyrics are a little sexy, and the moment wasn’t about that for me! I’m still playing the song though – lots!
Don’t worry Lisa.; that’s fine! I completely understand;-)
You know? I have a dog too, is a lab and she always “dance with me” when I put some music on in my studio at home! She jump on me and she look at me as if she understood the words of each song…
Dogs are so smart!
You are so lucky to have them….
Have a good evening!!
Serena
Ps I’m looking forward To read an other book, maybe about your new life: that would be great!
Creo que todos los animales son almas nobles, o como nosotros los humanos. Ellos a su manera nos pueden entender mejor que las personas. Siempre tuve perros y una gatita, de a poco fueron abandonando este mundo y todos fueron muy especiales, los extraño y sueño con el reencuentro.
El último perro que encontramos en la calle para un fin de año se llama Lucas, luego supe que significa “luz”. Yo siempre le hablo, mamá se reía y me decía que estaba loca, yo le respondía que él si bien no comprende el significado de las palabras, su almita comprende lo que le digo.
Hace unos días estaba muy triste pensando en mamá, en lo que la extraño y el buen dúo que hicimos a pesar del corto tiempo que nos dio la vida, sólo estaba agachada en un rincón de la cocina, no lo vi venir, pero Lucas se sentó a mi lado y puso una de sus patas sobre mi rodilla.
Lo que un perro dulce!
All is in the head. How do you call when you have things to do, you know, you look it but you do not move? At that time you need a good kick in the a…
Well this happens to me!! unfortunately!!!!!!!!!
Take care of yourself and keep moving forward.
Thank you for your beautiful blog.
This made me smile. Thank you for sharing. I remember the first time I found myself dancing. It was about 20 months after Jim died. I don’t remember how or why, but the station played a rap song. And I danced. A lot. Then I stopped & looked at my dog, and stated out loud, “Wait! That’s rap! I don’t like rap… or do I?” My rescued dog came into my life 10 months after losing Jim while I was recovering from surgery. So he had never witnessed anything like dancing in my house. And his expression was priceless. Almost like his response was, “Why are you asking me? I’m new here!”
I think appreciating the Lila in life is an amazing idea. And yes, at every opportunity, we must laugh…and dance.
Bless you, Lisa,
Kathy
Lol. I can just picture your dog’s face.
Actually when I just now laughed, my big dog, Kuma, came up to investigate. He always loves it when I laugh.
With each blog you write I can relate in some way. Yes. you get depressed when you least expect. It’s horrible and sometimes it takes a little longer to surface again, but you always do. When I started playing music when I cleaned house, it helped me so much, even playing the music my loved one also liked. I have danced with the mop, the broom and kept time with the music with the dust rag going in circles. The hurt and pain you feel will never completely go away, but with time it will be easier to deal with. Keep the music playing and keep dancing. Do what makes YOU feel better. I think maybe you just might have made Patrick smile doing what you did.
Hi Lisa,
You don’t have a video of yourself dancing in your kitchen?? 😛
I love this blog and it’s so good to hear you are feeling better now…keep hitting play haha!
Your dogs are beautiful!! And so are your feet btw!
I also loved your blog about your b-day bbq! The menu sounds so good and I am proud of you for celebrating your birthday after all! Sounds like you had a great day!
Xx
music, dance … that’s life, and when you itch, it is great not to hesitate, we must forge ahead, and not try to control it. That gives a lot of joy in our lives, and it is so pleasant. And no matter what others may think … it’s good.
I’m trying to remember that!
Another great blog, Lisa! It reminds me of a lyric in a country song: “Life’s a dance, you learn as you go…sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.” Either way, pull out the Flamin’ Mamas, turn up the music, and keep on dancing! 🙂
As always, much, much love to you! XXX
PS. Lucas and Kuma are adorable!
I’m still trying to find a place I can wear the Flamin’ Mamas. There got to be an opportunity somewhere!
I agree, there’s got to be somewhere you can wear ’em! 🙂
I just read your response Lindsay and that’s exactly what I said! LOL Love that song!
Dear Lisa.,
Thank you for sharing your story about Lila.I didn´t know it.
I think that dancing is a great thing for you.I´m sure you feel good doing it.Never stop to do it please because it brings you a lot of joy…
Your dogs are sweet and beautifuland they surely gives you a lot of love and they are your guardian angeles together with your husband.
Kisses to you and to all your animals<3
What a great idea – I think we all need to dance more. Sometimes when I am having a bad day – I like to get in my car after work and turn the phone off and pop in a cd and JAM OUT to the music…sing at the top of my lungs! It feels good! I can picture you dancing in your kitchen with your dogs looking at you like you were nuts…and it made me smile. I am actually having a bad day as well – so thanks for making me laugh today and I think I will be jamming on the way home from work tonight! Thanks for the inspiration Lisa! I love your blog!
Hey Lisa, there is nothing better than having a dance in the kitchen to cheer yourself up. The song I play is maroon 5 move like jagger! It always gets me going!
Love the picture of your dogs I’m sure they thought it was great seeing you enjoy yourself. I’m sure Patrick is looking down on you smiling.
Lots of love, lorna. Xxx
Hi Lisa!!!
I just wanted to share with you that last night they played on Spanish TV Patrick’s movie “Three wishes” and in the final scene, when he reveals the wish he asked for the boy, I just could think about you and that this was what he would have wanted for you too… Never forget that.
You’re an amazing woman and a wonderful writter!
Kisses from Barcelona!
P.S. Sorry for my English mistakes…
Thank you so much! L
I loved the book I know what you are going though my husband been gone 4 months and I have not gotten used to it I hart the roller coaster
Bailar puede ser una buena terapia para ti, Lisa, es una forma de expresar con el cuerpo lo que se siente en este momento, además el baile le une más a su marido, ya que es algo que compartian. Actualmente en una cadena española están emitiendo la última serie que filmó Patrick
Siento no poder expresarme en inglés, y espero que el traductor funcione bien.
Un beso.
Hi Lisa,
Did you know that lila is the german word for purple? This is funny, because this colour seems to mean a lot to you and it is often hidden in your photos or blogs….
It’s great to hear that your day has been so good, I hope for you that this day becomes a month, the month becomes a year and this year becomes a lifetime!
BTW: I hope you’ll tell us the name of this song soon – I bet its something from Rihanna – am I right? 🙂 If I’m right I want to win an autograph 😉
Tani
Nope, not Rhianna. This one’s pretty obscure!
Good hint, thank you! Is it “Obscure” from DIR EN GREY?
Don’t say nope, but if you do, I’ll try to find out one last time 🙂
Tani
Lol.
It isn’t it? Damn! Ok, last try : “I’m sexy and I know it” from LMFAO?
If I fail again, I’ll win my autograph later, one day you’ll give me one ( just to get rid of me 🙂
Tani
Sorry!
Hi Lisa,
I think that is a wonderful way to start a day ….Dance! Enjoy the sunshine and dance!
Love the picture of your dogs. If they are anything like my dogs they will make sure you don’t forget their breakfast. I have dachshunds and the one dog will gently touch your toes as a reminder to be fed while the another one does a dance of her own. I do love it when they tilt their heads wondering what you are dong, it is so cute!
Well you never know what crazy stuff will happen in life, so I think to crank up the music and dance to some tunes is wonderful. Plus it helps me get my housework done faster!
Take Care
Ann
Dancing is a good way to heal depression and as you know all exercise releases mood-lifting endorphins – good music can be healing too of course. A friend of mine who was going through a divorce and fighting to keep her children (in the family law courts) once told me she had been dancing with my Dad in her kitchen – ( he died in tragic circumstances 13 years ago…) But he did like dancing and met my mother dancing at London’s former famous Hammersmith Palais, so I could imagine my wonderful father doing his best to cheer up my good friend! Sometimes, if there is no more suitable dance partner around, I pick up one of my cats and dance with them in my arms – they seem to like that!!! I imagine your dogs may be a bit heavier so maybe not the best plan!!! Their expressions in your photos say it all!…Terrific! Keep on dancing, Lisa! x
Now that you mention it – cats ARE pretty easy to dance with.
Hi Lisa,
I really like the way you are writing your blog, it’s makes it very human, without any cover ups about anything. Hope these good days will continue for you, and that Lila may smile on you in many good ways!
Love,
Dagmar
The Netherlands
Hey Lisa, dance and the world dances with you, laugh and we’ll laugh with you, cry and those of us that love you will try our best to kick it in the butt to leave you to press play over and over again… ;o)
Beautiful dogs btw, at the mo we are visiting my best friend of 24 years and she lives in a beautiful historical grade 2 listed building with her lovely hubby, three sons and the bounciest most lovely natured boxers that I have ever met… They are insane but have such a lovely temperament so I understand why you adore your companions so much… Only member of the family not living at home is her equally beautiful chestnut colour horse Rockin’ Robin!!
Keep dancing and smiling and laughing,
Much love
Jo x
Hi Lisa,
Like so often I read you blog nodding and thinking – wow, that’s true, that’s like I feel sometimes. And than there is this adorable, unknown Lisa who reaches my hart and my soul with the words she writes. O.k. I’m not a dancer, I’m kind of unrythmic. I think you would look a bit like Kuma and Lucas when you would be sitting with me in my car – couse I sing out with the man in black Johnny Cash or Garth Brooks and that makes my day.
So, whenever I have a dark cloud above me, I will sing and try to imagine you dancing with your coffee pot around and we would scream with loughter and my kids would say something like: mom and Lisa, you are crazy, and than join us.
Love and hugs from Germany,
Kerstin
Lol. Sounds like a plan!
music 4 life !!!!!
I luv Kiefer Sutherland’s statement: music transports emotions faster than anything!
Music transports so much in a blink of an eye. Music touch human beeings, no matter on which continent, no matter what skincolour, nor religion …. music is a healer!
Music conjures up so much, it is amazing!
I hope music is like an anchor for you at these crazy days.
Like the idea you dancing in the morningsparkles … <3
I agree. Music is powerful. I believe it speaks beyond what words can say.
I saw your picture “opening sky” and weird thing happened,that same picture was on my screen saver!!!!That remind me that we are all looking at the very same sky every day…..and thinking of your dancing…and smiling….Look how many hearts did you touch with your great love and beautiful soul!THAT IS LIFE -WORTH LIVING FOR!!!Don*t you think so?
Kisses
As I heal, as I share, the world is becoming a warmer, more loving place for me.
Once upon a time a man wrote a song about you….called “She*s like the wind”!!!!Now i know what he meant:….you are made to be loved!!!
Aw… I don’t know what to say!
Good for you Lisa!
Your blog makes me think of the song “Life’s a Dance” (you learn as you go, sometimes you lead… sometimes you follow)
I love the pictures of your dogs! The the fur on your standard poodle…the poof on top and the ears…way too cute!
Great minds think alike, Katy! I also posted about the song “Life’s a Dance.” 🙂
Hi Lisa,
i’dont like you’re depressed, i like to see like in your birthday’s party, happy and sharing with all your guess, smiling and having a good time. But sometimes there’s up &down, i know for myself. A day you wake up with the other feet and all is bad (it see like that), then i begin to cry a lot and when i’m comfortable myself, then i put the music on, and dancing in all the house, kitchen if i start to making menu, salon if i want doing there, bedroom up my bed… it’s for seeing me, ha ha. But after that i’m very well, with more energy . Sometimes my daughter was when i was like that if she laughed with me or of me, i don’t know and i don’t mind. but it’s a cure for everybody, dancing, smiling, singing… In your own home, without anybody can to see you. It’s freedom, a great freedom.
Take care dear, best wishes for you as always,
Maite Sánchez
Thank you for your comment, Maite!
Hi Lisa… so glad that you keep on dancing.. thats so nice to hear…I`m sure that Buddy is smiling down from Heaven when seing you dancing….!!
I always enjoy reading your blogs… you are a great writer! I`m sending you big big Hug from Germany and please keep on dancing Lisa…..this belongs to your Life… and will help you to go through all your pain!!
Take Care…Sending you my Love!
Regine
Dancing, cake for breakfast, you go girl. Thanks for brightening my day. Love your dogs they are beautiful.
Lisa,
I love your June 4 entry. I lost my husband at 46 three years ago suddenly. I can so relate to what you are going through.
Including those little surprises that appear in your life. From the most unexpected places.
For me one of those unexpected surprises was meeting two other women who had also been widowed. Together we have started an organization called The W Connection (www.Wconnection.org)–Widows helping widows rebuild their lives. We are not about bereavement–we are about helping women move forward –when this awful curve ball has hit us. We are about rebuilding with hopes of happiness again. I would love for you to check out what we do and let me know what you think.
Your writing is inspiring–and keep dancing in your kitchen!!
Roz Drale
Thank you.
P.S. Sorry for my english. Sometimes i make mistakes and then when i have sending the comment i saw them. I hope you understand my comment. Ah! i like your dancer’s feet on the kitchen table. Relax in the kitchen after dancing.
Thanks for sharing your pic with us, they are nice and your home too. Your dogs are beautiful, most i like is the brown colour falling in the cushion. XXL
Lisa,
i really enjoy reading your blog when I am having one of those “waves”. You put everything into words
so eloquently. Keep up with the writing (and the dancing)-whatever makes you feel good!
My favorite music always lifts my spirits.
You made me laugh with your story on a grey, cold and rainy morning in Germany (thank God, in a view days we escape this terrible weather to the hot and sunny Santorini and Naxos). Nice to hear that you start a day like this. We have two cats and they are used to hear me sing a lot at home ;-). Your dogs are so nice! A friend of us have a Rhodesian Ridge Back, too. His name is Yuma. He is frightening when he is barking and he did a lot in the beginning when he did not know me and my husband well but in the meantime he has recognized that we do not pose a threat for him or his family and he accept us and comes along to say hello ;-).
Lisa,
I have many depressive times that I work through, day to day. I am an artist, and I believe the creative spirit goes hand-in-hand with depression. I made numerous CDs of sad songs, after my Norman died (four years, now.) I listen to them often, and grieve. The music helps me to grieve – the emotions pour out. My friends and sisters don’t understand that sad music is theraputic for me. Their idea of music is “happy.” I need to feel through the music. It also helps my art work. All music is therapy for the soul!
I think it’s great that you took your grief and wrote some songs. For me, I see it as doing something constructive with the challenges, and pain I’ve been dealt. As far as depression going hand-in-hand with creativity…I think also goes hand-in-hand with happiness, love, and beauty when creating art, because, if you didn’t have the good (even if it’s in your heart), how could you write a sad song? But let’s not mince words! I agree that music is about feeling – it’s a deep, and powerful thing.
Hi Lisa,
Even though these waves come at you, you really ride them well. You pull yourself up by the straps and get back up again. Just like your Buddy taught you. Music & dancing are two of the most beautiful things that God gave us. You can’t help but feel better after a good romp around the room.
Your dogs are so cute! We have a Bassett Hound (our2nd.). She has been watching me dance around to Disco music lately.We have a dance coming up and the theme is Disco this time. She just lays there watching me and you can see her sad eyes just rolling back and forth with me. She makes me laugh, I love her to pieces.
Thanks again for giving this blog to us. It really gives me a lift at the end of my day!!
Take care— Did anyone tell you they loved you today? Consider it done ….
Ginny (tjhe newbee)
Hi Lisa,
Thank you very much for your blogs. It is so kind of you to share your thoughts and feelings and also to read the responses. I hope you realize how many people you are reaching out to and helping.
I really like to watch the movie “White Nights.” I am awed every time I watch the “duo dance” that Mikhail Baryshnikov and the late Gregory Hines did together to the song “Prove Me Wrong.” It is a great energy release for me to do my own dancing to that song and to most of the other songs on the CD of the movie. Did you and Patrick ever get to watch either of them perform? Or maybe even meet one or the other?
Your dogs are so sweet. Do they know when you feel depressed? If it were later in the day and they saw you dancing would they sense that you were happy?
Thanks again!
Carol
We met both Mikhail & Gregory, and they both are, and “were” (respectively) very nice guys. And great dancers, of course!
I find out this …….
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yX4iIPlwS5c&w=560&h=315%5D
wonderful dancers and sad story ……
So sad for Patrick that his knee injury forced him to give up his flourishing ballet career and the opportunity he was offered to be one of three company dancers selected to dance alongside Baryshnikov at Eliot Feld Ballet important New York season in 1976. I was lucky enough to work on the movie “White Nights” and be paid to watch Baryshnikov dance at the Bristol Hippodrome Theatre in England, where they shot some scenes for that film – a true ballet genius and it is certain that Patrick would not have been offered the opportunity to star with Baryshnikov if that were not also true of Patrick. Unfortunately the dance movies in which Patrick made his name as such an amazing dancer – “Dirty Dancing”, and with Lisa “One Last Dance”, and the World Music Awards tribute to Whitmey Houston, etc., – were made over ten years after Patrick’s retirement from his ballet career and despite his serious knee injury and numerous operations… so we can only imagine the incredible ballet career he would certainly have had if it had not been for that terrible and unfortunate football injury. However being multi talented there followed many memorable acting performances in “North and South”, “Ghost”, “City of Joy” (to name but a few) and clear proof via “She’s Like The Wind” and other songs from his movie soundtracks that Patrick could very easily have chosen a hugely successful music career if he had opted for that path as a principal career after the knee injury. Triumph in the face of severe adversity, as later with his success in “The Beast” despite the cancer battle he was so bravely fighting at that time. Patrick will always be treasured and remembered – a true inspiration to all.
Dear Lisa
You are an incredibly strong woman and I am so happy for you dancing in the morning. Keep it up for you!
Always remember Pina Bausch’s lesson to us:
“DANCE.DANCE! OTHERWISE WE ARE LOST” . (Pina Bausch)
If you feel like watching the movie of Pina Bausch (with the same name as her quote) you may like it.
I am so passionate about dancing, i could go to class everyday. Its amazing what the body can achieve and the mind.
Your dogs are wonderful. Kuma looks very loyal and Lucas very graceful.
With lost of love
Natalie
Thanks for your comment, Natalie! And dance!
I just saw the movie that starred alongside her husband. Are you an excellent dancer, Lisa
Thank you, Berta. As we all know – I love to dance!
Hi Lisa
Another beautifully written blog just love how you writ so open and freely it really makes you connect as I can picture everything so clearly.
Your two beautiful dogs look as if they were just waiting to have their pictures taken and they have such lovely loving faces too, your home is just full of comfort and love as through your so content dogs you can see this, well take care love julie gog bless xx:)
i find myself having the same waves, and with that I have learnt to laugh as some of them and dance through others, it is funny though as soon as I put the music on my budgies start chattering, the kids start dancing around and singing along with me. In the end everyone is happier and spirits are higher and a lot more things are accomplished when we have the music blasting through the house. it also brings me back to
what my grandmother told me “whats good for the body is good for the mind”. so keep dancing Lisa, you can only benefit from it. 🙂
Wonderful!
Good morning dear Lisa,
Nobody knows how you are feeling today but I just wanted to message you to say I always think about and pray for you but more so on days like today… I hope you find something to do today which lifts your spirits!
Much love Lisa,
Jo xx
I need help. My daughter dances at a studio/ballet that emotionally abuses, discriminates and insults their dancers under college age. (we have no other place to dance, we are military and are here for another year) The ballet is dancing at the Dirty Dancing Festival at Lake Lure in Aug. The couple doing the last dance again is not any good. My daughter (the most advanced at the ballet-she just danced Aurora in Sleeping Beauty so the male lead could live his dream) has been denied the last dance because of her age-17. She is devastated because she feels this couple’s dancing is an insult to Patrick Sawyze’s memory. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ebFXyBMmTU&list=UU6bHLghjEPsb6hzJbHrLZHg&index=4&feature=plcp If you agree, can you please do something to stop Asheville Ballet from dishonoring Patrick’s memory a second time.I don’t know where else to turn. My daughter is already being punished for wanting to make the dancing special as a tribute to Patrick Swayze. She is depressed and hurting. She choreographed this last year at 16 to honor Patrick http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtJ2Zy4VnJw&list=UU6bHLghjEPsb6hzJbHrLZHg&index=8&feature=plcp
Thank you,
Audree
Hi Audree,
While I don’t know the situation there personally, I really can’t respond. But as you know, both Patrick and I grew up dancing and performing in the theater, and often things, casting, didn’t work out like we might have hoped. When you’re young, it’s an opportunity to learn how to weather your disappointments, as you go on to bigger, and better things. If we can’t rise above our terrible hurts, or petty situations we have no control over, then life will seem to have the opening to kick us down and crumple us in our future. Weather it out. Build those muscles now. And rise above as a better human being as you follow your heart’s desire.
Best, L
Thank you. I hope you didn’t think I was asking for you to intercede for my daughter. That wasn’t the case at all. She is not doing the gig because she was chastised for wanting to improve the choreography to make it a tribute to Patrick’s memory since it is being done on his birthday. She loves your husband and what he stands for in the dance world. She felt the low quality of dancing that the couple did last year and will be doing again this year was disrespectful to his memory and that is why she is hurting. Hopefully since you feel it is ok, she will be able to move on. Thank you
I’m in a rural area right now, and can’t view videos so I didn’t see the links, but still… Sounds like she’ll just have to take a deep breath until it passes. Who knows, maybe for the people dancing, it will make a difference in their lives that will impact positively somewhere else. You never know. I send my best wishes to you both!
Audree – I’m sure Patrick would say: “Nobody puts your daughter in the corner” !… Judging by what I can see from the links she is a very special and talented young lady with a deep love and respect for Patrick. It is wonderful how Patrick’s talent continues to inspire so many people to dance. One day, hopefully soon, your daughter may be able to put on her own show to honour Patrick’s memory – either there another year or somewhere else at an appropriate event in the future. Hopefully also she will find a more sympathetic environment for her talent to develop and flourish. In the meantime it is important not to be discouraged by the obstacles in her path. As we know from his own accounts in “The Time of My Life” Patrick had many tough obstacles to challenge him at every stage of his life but his focus and determination not to be defeated by them is an inspiration to us all. I hope Patrick continues to inspire your daughter to rise above the present negative influences and that she will soon find a more positive environment for her dreams and talents to flourish and shine – both for herself and in honour of Patrick. In the meantime Lisa’s advice will prove invaluable and we all wish her the best of luck for her future life and career as she so deserves x
Lynn,
Thank you so much for your beautiful and inspiring words. I’m sure they will mean a lot to her.
Thank you again!!!
Audree
Hi Lisa,
I’ve never responded on a blog before, but I needed to tell you what an impact you, Patrick and your journey has had on me. I hadn’t watched Dirty Dancing in a long time so I pulled up some internet clips last week, and became mesmerized with Patrick’s intensity in his portrayal of Johnny Castle and the elegance, passion and nobility in his dance. This inspired me to look further into the man, and his life, and of course I learned so much about you both and your journey together………epitomizing love, devotion, determination, and the elusive soul-mate. I think I was drawn to your path at a time when I am desperately trying to find a path of my own. It has been a sobering experience to dive headfirst into your life,through the interviews and other available information on the internet, and has left me in awe of Patrick’s stoic determination to conquer the enemy and continue to “give back” under enormous pressures that I can’t even imagine. Also, I can’t even begin to tell you the deep sympathy I want to express for your immense loss, but I also want to relay my admiration for your incredible strenght and grace. I’m so very grateful that you honor us with truth, and genuine expressions of where you are in your battle. I somehow feel such a connection with your story, and your daily struggle to breathe once again. Although our lives are different in so many ways, they are also the same in so many ways, and your Dances with Lila was my inspiration for today, so I wanted to thank you personally. Grief has many faces. Yours of course was an intense, burning grief that hopefully has become less painful over time and apparently can slide into what you term as malaise. I never experienced your horrific, unimaginable grief, but I can identify with malaise and depression………controlled as it is outwardly, it still bubbles under the surface, and can take over in a blink of an eye. Your candid honesty is a gift to those of us who also struggle with our own personal griefs, and your revelations have helped me more than you’ll ever know. I guess that the last few days have been a meditation of sorts. Looking into the triumphs and tragedies of Patrick and your journey has triggered much reflection on my own life, my blessings and losses, and how I view myself today. I have somehow changed through this “meditation”……..can’t explain it verbally…………..just feel a seed has been planted, and I thank you sincerely. You are a beautiful person both inside and out, and I feel like we’ve sat over a cup of coffee and had one of those deep, meaningful conversations that refresh one’s desire to tackle life once again.
I’m so very grateful.
Nancy
Thank you for your beautiful comment, Nancy. My best, L
You are so very welcome, Lisa. I have since read both your books which kept me up till the wee hours of the morning. I am speechless with the depth of your story, and your ability to connect the reader with your joy, despair, fear, frustration and every other emotion that traveled your journey along with you. One lesson I took away was your method of handling “fear” at one point in your story. I can’t find the passage right now, but you basically told “fear” to get out of your way, you couldn’t deal with it right now because you were facing an emergency. Well, I’ve tried to use the same approach to thwart depression on the days it manages to show it’s troubled face. I’ve actually come up with a morning ritual that is quite effective for me. 1) Accept who I am, warts and all; 2) Acknowledge my gifts, and how I use them to help others; 3) Generate gratitude for the blessings in my life, such as my wonderful animal family as well as my human family and friends; 4) Find some beauty somewhere…..my cats charming face, or a sunbeam, or the trees swaying in the breeze…something that makes me smile inside; 5) Since I live alone with my animals, I try and feel the unconditional love they give to me; 6) Now, I tell any depression that might be hovering nearby to get out of my way, and get behind me where it belongs; 7) Snuggle a bit with my coffee and pleasant thoughts……then get up, get dressed and get going. It seems to work for me……you might want to try applying your “fear” solution to your “depression”…….your daily dose of animal love is one of the key ingredients.
By the way, I have loved Arabians for many years….since the days of Emaus, Naborr and Aramus. Never could afford one, but boy, oh boy they take my breath away.
Sorry this turned out so lengthy….didn’t mean for it to be.
Nancy
Lovely. Thank you.
Even after 25 years of watching Dirty Dancing and loving it.. I watched it tonight with different eyes. I laughed, I cried and I cheered ….knowing what a great guy/man Patrick was indeed…and I didn’t even know him.
Keep dancing Lisa…
As the music boomed out, I got up and danced in my kitchen in my bare feet…
Yea!!!