Another birthday has now passed, and I can’t help but be struck by the enormous different in how I feel from last year to this one. It’s as vast as an ocean. Everyone always said that this grief I feel would get better, more manageable as time went on. And it has. That I’ve journeyed from the pits of despair to where I am now is – mind boggling to me.
I’d like to share something I wrote just before my birthday. It shows what a difference it is in where I was then, and where I am now:
***
May 10, 2013
Driving home tonight, I felt so lonely. Such a terrible loneliness.
Just a year ago at this time, I sat on my friend’s balcony at a party, and sobbed uncontrollably. For the previous two months, I had become so desperate, depressed and in pain. I remember my bed felt like it was tipping to one side, and I had to hang on, bracing myself against it to keep from being folded up into it; swallowed completely. Hanging on, and hanging on. Never to leave bed again (and that’s what it is to roll in pain).
Desperate. I slept at my friend’s house that night, crawling out early in the morning to disappear into my life again.
And I remember thinking at that time, particularly, that this was what my lot in life was going to be, and that I was always going to be alone . . . (yeah, I guess I had come into the period where I must have felt really alone). And a couple weeks after my friend’s party I finally, suddenly, came to determine that – yeah, I’m hurting, and yeah, I’ll probably be alone for the rest of my life – and that would be okay. In fact – it might be preferable when you think about it. It was then that I started to find some strength to raise myself up again, and meet a new day. And I did. I picked myself up and started to plan my birthday barbeque (the one I blogged about last year where things started to change for me)!
And it was also then that I met a man. A man that would challenge me to feel again, connect, open up to, and dare to risk my heart with.
And at this moment, I feel so incredible vulnerable. I mean, I’ve been seeing him for many months now, and still, I feel so vulnerable . . . Let me put it this way – before our first date, I had to watch the video ** “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger,” featuring young cancer patients fighting for their lives at Seattle Children’s Hospital! This is how much courage it took to take that first step.
But what a man he has turned out to be. At one point, he promised that he would never disappoint me. And he hasn’t. He hasn’t.
It’s strange how this grief weaves through my life. Sometimes, I can’t see the forest for the trees. Sometimes, it’s an understatement to say that I bite off more than I can chew. Sometimes, I am so truly weak, and I am lucky that I have such good people looking after me, and forgiving my shortsightedness, and shortcomings.
I think I’m lonely tonight because I feel so very, very sorry for that girl who was me a year ago. And there was nothing I could do to help her.
But I hold her in her loneliness. And I tell her that I understand. And I remind her that she needs to forgive herself. For not…being perfect…for not….finding her way. And I’d like to whisper in her ear that it’s not over until the fat lady sings. I’d like to whisper that very, very good things are going to happen, and she will receive unexpected gifts in the future. Many, many, very, very, unexpected gifts.
** Don’t know if I’ve shared this video, or not with you. It’s so inspiring, full of true courage, and definitely worth watching! You’ll have to copy and paste the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihGCj5mfCk8
Or, just go to www.youtube.com, and search for Stronger Seattle Childrens Hospital.
Oh Lisa,
We are so resilient, aren’t we? So much more so than we think we are, or even want to be.
And you are vulnerable because you’ve taken your ‘armor’ off. You had to, to be in a relationship. And that’s scary. Because taking off the armor that enabled you to survive at first means you may get hurt again. But as you can see, it’s worth it.
From someone who took the armor off as well, and am so very happy I did. Don’t get me wrong, I still know where it is, I know I may need to grab it at a moment’s notice if he gets sick or dies… but for right now…. I am armor free and loving life. Cheers and all the best to you Lisa!! xoxo D.
I’m amazed that we can be willing to risk again. It just shows to me that, hate to sound corny, but that love is a part of what were made of. Can’t stop it. And as I’m sure you know, it doesn’t stop the love you feel for the one you lost. As a friend said, “It comes from the same well.”
Exactly, I like that ‘It comes from the same well.” It is a beautiful thing when your partner understands and let’s you grieve without being threatened, let’s you go “there” and loves you when you return.
And it doesn’t sound corny, it sounds beautiful!
Lisa, I wrote to you several months ago about my husband battling rectal cancer… After 15 months, 3 weeks ago he lost his battle just two weeks before our 35th anniversary. I was 17 and he was 20 when we married and I am now 52 and I don’t know how to live without him. How do you cross over from the despair? I never thought so much about death and what happens afterward. I have a son and daughter, both married to their soul mates and I have a beautiful 6 year old granddaughter named Lennon Kendra ( my husband’s name was Ken and my name is Sandra, what a beautiful tribute). They have their own lives and I do not want to burden them with my pain. I do feel alone, everything reminds me of my handsome husband and I’m so grief stricken that I will never see his beautiful face again or hear his voice… I want to just curl into a ball and never move out of my house. Is this the normal process of grief? I get up and go to work everyday thinking I will feel some sense of normalcy but its not happening. I read your book and I know how much you loved your husband and you seem to be finding your way in life without him by your side. When does life return? How long does it take?
It takes as long as it takes, and even now, I can get knocked flat. It’s funny, everyone thinks that the first 6 six months must be the hardest, but I found that it took that long for me to thaw out and really feel the pain. And the pain is beyond anything I ever imagined. So many times I was sure that I was going mad. really mad.
Hang in there. Just put one foot in front of the other (when you can). And for me, I found that talking to other widows, and people experiencing the same kind of loss helped more than anything. It helped me to know I was not going crazy.
Hang in there. You won’t always feel this way.
I love your comment regarding the grieving period, “It takes as long as it takes” I am a nurse, along with most of the woman in my family, I am so grateful that we were all able to care for my Dad. We just lost him a few weeks ago, 14 years with alzheimers and I know in my heart he survived as long as he did because of the love and care he was given by us. But having said that, I see what it did to my Mom mentally and physically. I just dont think a human being is designed to care for someone as long as we did. Its nothing like work because at the end of our shift, we went home. So, I sit here today remembering when you lost your beloved Patrick, millions around the world grieved but could never feel the way you did at the time. I read both books and I sobbed, partially because I adored Patrick and also the way you loved and cared for him, and one another, and the other remaining part was knowing I would be losing my Dad soon. He left us the day after his birthday. So, getting back to the grieving part, I think we want to hurry that part up…the quicker we grieve, the sooner we stop feeling the pain. I mean, who wants to feel this kind of pain and drag it on forever? I would love for it to stop but we are all different and time is a funny thing. So today, one month later, I had my cry, I spoke to my Dad as if he was sitting right next to me. I let him know that he is still my “One True Thing” and lastly I thanked him for the wonderful years he gave me. Thank you Lisa for being such an inspiration to so many. ~ Warm hugs to you~
And thank you for such a beautiful post. It was lovely, and got me teary.
Sandi,
I am so incredibly sorry on the loss of your husband. So very sorry for where you are right now. 🙁 I was widowed at 38 and a huge help to me was http://www.widownet.org. As Lisa says, it was so very good to talk to others who “get it”, who understand what you are going through. I believe they also now have a facebook page they didn’t have in the past.
It helped me feel not so alone, gave me something to read in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. To this day I have many friends I met on there, people I will be friends with forever.
I wish there were some magic words, but there aren’t. I wish it didn’t suck so bad, but it does. But it also gets better, it truly does. I know you probably can’t see that place from where you are right now, but just take it a moment at a time…. wishing you peace and strength.
First off, Sandi, I am so sorry for your loss and I want you to know for what your going through you are normal and your going to be ok. At some point, you will start to see the forest for the trees, the beauty instead of the of your life together instead of the pain and suffering of the lost.
Remember that you don’t have to feel this way for the rest of your life, I would get so overwhelmed and then found out that if I broke it down into smaller spaces I dealt much better, days, hours, minutes, and yes, sometimes even seconds. Yes, support from your family is nice, but remember they are grieving to, different and yet the same, but to them give all you can and accept what they have to give, and go from there. The best medicine I have found is just as D.Lee has said talking is the best medicine and thank you D.Lee, I didn’t know of any other website. but talking is the best medicine, giving and receiving. Early on I literally thought I was going CRAZY and I’m sure everyone stranger I pulled out from a crowd thought I was off my rocker. Then, I found people that were dealing with the loss of spouses at church and still didn’t fit in, and then, I found Lisa’s Webpage and Blog and I finally found someplace to vent, unload, give and receive. ONE DAY AT A TIME So please remember we know your loss and how great it is because we have lost our significant other as well. I fought with self pity, depression, anger and sometimes all at once, but I found hope through church, people dealing with the loss of a loved one and by giving to others so they can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. (There is a light by the way) There is 9 months between my husband and Lisa’s husband’s death., and I realized by reading her book, ” Worth Fighting For” and found hope, and the website….And have found a Road to Recovery for life again. Tomorrow I may take a wrong turn and be lost but it’s starting to get easier to find my way back. I think I was one who always said it will get easier and I want you to know that as Lisa put it “I get stronger,” I think that when we get married, or I did, I gave up my identity to be someone’s wife and that was it fir the next 16 years (we lived together for 5 years before and know I have to reidentify with myself and yes, pick myself up, dust myself off, and basically, start all over again. Well didn’t plan on talking so much and still want to make some comments to Lisa. So God bless you and remember your not alone.
Lisa, I am 33 years old and from 9 I have long admired her husband.I have my grief because I do not know him.But now reading all what you say, I feel that you are a wonderful person with a great spirituality.And I also admire very much.Feel proud of everything that has achieved.Because this achieving what I thought impossible. A very big kiss.I dream of having it a day ahead and give you a big hug.That I could never give Patrick.Excuse me my English, I’m Spanish and use translator.
Flori.
Lisa,
I’m happy for you that you are finding peace in your life again, and that you have found someone to share it with. I’ve been a widow for 3 yrs. and at times my husband seems to be right here with me and on my mind. I think about the good times that we had in the 35 yrs. we was married and also the bad. I reflect on the months that I took care of him when he was sick, if I had to do it over, I would in a new york minute, would not change much except maybe tell him more that I loved him. My two girls have been by my side since his passing and was there when he was sick as well. We are very close and have good times together even if it’s just a day off for them and we get together and sit on the porch and talk and fix a meal. My youngest daughter is getting married this year and the sad part is that her dad won’t be here to walk her down the aisle. Instead her grandpa is going to do it. I couldn’t have gotten thru my grief or helped my girls if we weren’t so close. We have shared stories and laughed over some of the funny things their dad did. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, starting at the very young age of 5, I guess what I’m trying to say is that when God closes a door on life, he opens a window into heaven to let the light shine down forever. Partial quote from King Solomon’s Mines.
Thank you for sharing that, Brenda.
Lisa, I wanted to tell you what a remarkable woman I think you are. You truly put all your heart and soul into taking care of Patrick. As I have worked in the medical field now Hematology/ Oncology was by all means the most wonderful places that I worked. Yes, I was heartbroken many times over but was never scared to loved them and saying that I became a little more philisophical and discovered that whatever should be said or done should be just that. Death is permanent here on this earth but regret is worse because you no longer have that chance to fix things. You can stand tall and proud knowing regret is not in your heart. I hope that will stay in your heart eternally. Best wishes, Rebecca Reardon
XXL Thank you.
Lisa,
Thank you for sharing your heart. Your writings is showing me what other widows and people who have lost someone are going through. We are not alone in our feelings. It has been 16 months since my husband passed. The first year was hard but I too feel like I am coming out of a fog and the grief at times is more intense.
I find that when I stay in the present I feel so many emotions and that is okay…I cry at times but then I see a pretty flower or something beautiful and I am happy…
Thanks again for sharing. Your blog is wonderful…God Bless!
Lisa –
I love that you gave that girl compassion, kindness and forgiveness. It is how we heal in the here and now, unburdening the pain from the past. I honor you. Thank you for sharing this with us!
Warmly,
Julie
Dear Lisa,
I work part time as a care giver while I continue my education for a mid life career change. Your book was suggested to me because of the work I do and it was fabulous. I just wanted to share a funny little story with you that I hope puts a smile on your face………
My husband and daughter were away for the weekend so I decided it would be fun to grab a glass of wine and turn on Netflix and see if any of the movies I grew up with were on. I spent a wonderful evening watching Top Gun and Dirty Dancing, making me feel very nostalgic for my childhood. I got to work on Monday and was discussing my weekend with this very proper elderly woman I take care of. After I told her what movies I was watching she perked up and said “Dirty Dancing is one of my favorite movies, it has been years since I have seen it. In all my 87 years I have never seen a man move like that.”
Needless to say I was quite surprised. I offered to grab a copy of the movie and bring it over. A few days later we watched the movie together and my heart was bursting with joy as she sat there singing along to every song and moving to the music in her wheelchair talking about her experiences in the early 1960’s. Its always a good day when you can bring someone that much happiness.
Fabulous!
aww I love that story.bought the lil old lady.my mommy is 73.and she calls me every time a Patrick Swayze movie is on.we just watched north and south on encore w.last week.and lisa im so happy for you.that you are finding youre self again.buddy is always with you.love you lots lady.i hope you had a wonderful birthday
It is so hard sometimes to find a new normal.It has been 8 months since my husband passed and I still have times when I just lose it.I really don’t know that I’ll ever be normal or happy again not that I ever was normal but my Bill loved me and accepted me just the way I am and called me his Lucille Ball because I could always make him laugh.Coming home and him not being here now is pure hell.I am glad you have found someone who is nice and makes you happy because you deserve some happiness and I know that Patrick would want you to go on with life and be happy but I know that sometimes it’s so very hard to too.
Someone told me that it is a testament to the strength of one’s faith in love that one is willing to be open to it again. You may be taking a risk, but it is reasonable risk. All the best to you!
Hi Lisa…my situation is not anywhere close to what you have endured. I found out in february (15th) that my husband of 19 years was having an affair wih the wife of one of his coworkers. I had been around her many times and had no clue what was going on. I had been in many bad relationships before i met him and ended up trusting this man so much that i was blindsided by this. .what you said sounds like me for the last four months. Everybody keeps telling me this heartache will go away one day. I feel so betrayed by him that it feels like i will nevet survive this. But if you can keep going after what you have. endured, surely i can survive this. Thanks for the .. inspiration
I understand. It is still loss. Ya know?
Lisa- SO happy someone else has been blessed to have you love them. You are the epitome of love and grace. I saw his picture and he smiles with his eyes too. That’s always the best sign:)
Thought of you because an amazing woman- kellybridge.blogspot.com – just lost her battle with pancreatic this past weekend. They made a Team Kelly and shirts were sold around the world. Lots of faith, prayers and amazing strength and support. She had 4 children and a loving husband and it continues to amaze me what the power of love can do.
You’ve inspired me to take flying lessons – if you’re ever in Boca- I wanna fly!
So proud of your journey. Your vulnerability started before meeting him- it started with sharing your very private, heartfelt raw story and your practice made you ready for this beautiful story.
Nice to be able to say Happy Birthday and know it really is a happy one:) You have a light that refuses to be out out!
All My Best to you and your bright future-
Hi Lisa,
I was so glad that you had shared your feelings again. It could not have come at a better time. Tonight my Nephew graduated from high school. I am so proud of him. But I lost my brother/ best friend to cancer and it was his Father. I had been praying for some sign that all was going to be ok. My Nephew rarely speaks of his Dad and it has been that way since he passed. The other two like to talk about him. Anyway I am driving to the ceremony and of course I got into town late so I was running late. I am on a country road and out of no where came this big beautiful deer. It came right up to my window and let me pat it’s head and then turned and walked in front of my car to the other side of the road and stood sideways looking at me. I rolled my window down and told it to go before it got ran over and it was like it understood It turned and ran for the woods. I thanked God and my Brother I felt I got my sign.
So I get to the ceremony and was able to catch my Nephew as he was getting ready to walk out with his classmates. I gave him a big hug and he whispered do you think Dad will see me. I told him yes. He reached into his pocket and showed me something that I had given to him when my Brother had passed. I could not believe that he still had it. I hugged him again, told him how proud I was off him and that I new that his Daddy would have been to. I told him not to be nervous when he gave his speech that his Dad would be right there with him all the way. By the time I found a seat I lost it. When he received his diploma he looked up to the sky and touched his heart. Mine was breaking. I never tell people who lose loved ones that time heals all wounds because it does not. But we have to learn to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep going. Because that is what the ones we love and lose would want us to do.
I want you to know that I am so Happy that every Post that you send it shows how much stronger that you are getting. You are stronger than you think. And when the going gets tough find something to make you laugh. In my case tonight the little Granny that was next to me (Because I got there late I could not find my family, so I sat with some really nice and funny strangers.) went to shout congrats as her granddaughter started across to get her diploma. Her teeth fell out in my lap. I thought I was going to lose my lunch. But then I just could not help but laugh. I felt that was my brothers way of saying to serious sis lets get passed that. We always did that when he was alive and when he was in pain I would do or say something that would crack him up. Good Luck with the man in your life . If things get to serious or you get down you let me know. I will find that lady and let her shout and lose her teeth in your lap that should cheer you up. Take Care and keep yourself surrounded with positive people that you can trust and let the ones that you cannot go. I wish you Love, Peace, and Happiness and you are getting there. Take Care and have a great Day and God Bless. P.S. Sorry so long but thanks for listening.
Wow. Beautiful, wonderful story. Thank you.
Hi Lisa
So pleased that your birthday went so well and that you have openned your heart to new feelings of love, it’s such a great feeling as you feel this will never happen again but I believe that my hubby led me to meet with my new man as he had said don’t be alone you’ll find someone again.
It’s not the same love as before but it is feeling of fresh love and it really makes you want to live life to the full.
I still think of my loss but I can feel happy thinking of him and still feel he is around and I feel it makes my new life and family special too as I have a second chance of hapiness and love.
Enjoy your love and this life don’t ever feel guilty you will never forget Patrick, but you will now have new special moments to share with this lovely guy and you deserve to live your life to the full it’s great to get such lovely news that you are stronger and feeling better in your life God Bless you Lisa love Julie xxox
Well said, Julie!
That was beautiful. I am glad to see how far you have come in your journey of re-self-discovery. Tell your friend he better not disappoint you because you have a lot of friends in the world that would gladly kick him in the shins for you. 🙂
Lol. I have a few friends in LA that would do the same!
You have come a long way as you say. I can not agree with all you say as I am a ‘one man woman’. If something happened to my hubby I could never and would never seek another for any reason. All my love is for this one man and it would not be fair to another to let him think I could love again. Some people can have several husbands/wives and if that makes them happy so be it. I am not the judge of others, this is how I feel and lots of my friends who have lost thier hubby’s have stayed true to the love they gave them on their wedding day. But if it makes someone happy then so be it, it is just hard for me to understand how others can give thier love to others so freely and quickly after the loss of thier spouse who they say they loved so much. I wish you luck and happiness in whatever you do. I also understand that things are different in ‘your world’ than it is in most of ours. Patricia
I understand, Patricia. I have widow friends that are not the least bit interested in another relationship, and on the other hand, I heard of a woman who re-married only after 6 months of grieving (and I was a little judgmental about that)! Yes, obviously everyone is different about where they are going in their lives. I know for me that I have not left my husband behind, but rather, I’ve surprisingly found that there is enough “extra” love for another. Thanks for writing, L
Hello Patricia!
I was in Saudi Arabia in 1991, at the tail end of the first Gulf War, when I received word that my childhood sweetheart was in a terrible car accident. She was the ABSOLUTE love of my life, we actually grew up as neighbors and were best friends for pretty much all of my childhood. Somehow, someway she survived, and appeared to be on the mend when a few weeks later she suddenly passed away. There was no way that I was going to get leave to go home on an emergency basis, it was wartime, and we weren’t married. So I spent 6 more months on deployment knowing that when I did come home, I was coming home to an empty life. I was absolutely heartbroken, and all these years later I am STILL not over it. Her passing away had lasting effects that I still feel today. I spent the bulk of the 1990’s pretty much just going through the motions of living, I spent a lot of time just spinning my wheels. I attended college for a semester and dropped out. (And subsequently wasting my GI Bill) I bounced around from job to job. I even threw my military career away (I ended up in the National Guard to round out my enlistment) when I just stopped going. That, of course, is a crime, and I was lucky they just let me go with a General Discharge and not charge me with desertion. I had a few girlfriends here and there, of course, but I was always consciously comparing them with the one I lost, which was unfair to them. I eventually migrated out here to Oregon, from Michigan, got a nice paying job at Hewlett-Packard working in their R&D Department and met the woman that I now have my son with. Out of the blue, BAM…I got word that my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and was given less than 6 months to live. I took an emergency leave from my job and went home to be there with my Dad. If only you knew who my Dad was…he fought cancer for 18 months, tripling his survival time. At around the 6th month time after diagnosis he was still looking pretty good and he pulled me aside and told me that he wanted me to go back to Oregon, he was proud that I was doing well (finally) and that I could come back when it was time, but he didn’t want me to wake up one day, be 35 years old and have nothing to show for my life. So I did. Unfortunately I didn’t have the job to come back to, but I picked the ball back up and began building my life. That was over a decade ago. I have passed the “waking up at 35” point of my life, and now, at just a freshly turned 40 I am a full time college student with just over a year to go until I get to law school (with another two or three years to go after that!) and I have a beautiful son that just happens to think Daddy is the best danged thing in the world. I took the long, roundabout way of telling this story to you in the hopes that you read between these lines and see the real message: It’s never too late, you get busy living, or you get busy wasting, and somewhere, someplace, the love of my life and my Dad are watching. And they are happy. No one will ever replace those who I love and lost. NEVER. But, the human heart has a tremendous capacity to include others. The mother of my son, I will love her forever. She has her honored place in my heart, right next to that beautiful girl I lost so long ago. The same with my Dad. He lives within the same spirit that I parent my own son with. Neither one of them wanted me to waste my life away, like I was doing. The fact that I am living to the best of my ability and actually making a difference in life is the best way in order to honor them. I just wanted to tell you that. 🙂
Text is just gorgeous Lisa! the human being is so complex, especially when the pain take over! But I know you’re strong, it is normal to feel lonely sometimes, but friends and family are what is most important in these times! I hope you had a great birthday!
Lisa, Your blog and books have helped me through some very difficult times. I have written to you about the sudden loss of my father but there is so much more. There can be great confusion and loss when losing someone who was abusive, who treated you badly your entire life. Working through this has been excruciatingly difficult. When you refer to feeling like your bed was tipping I can definitely relate to this. This of course can be taken metaphorically. I also found that literally being in my bed and trying to sleep and waking up is where much of my pain occurred. That is where most of my darkest thoughts have taken place. I am coming into a great place of strength but it is also sad in a way to think that I will never be the same. I am strong and invincible. I find that looking at the losses that others endure and their strength causes their strength to seep towards me. I am now truly amazed and my eyes are open to what others have endured and are capable of.
I know what you mean – I’ll never be the same. That’s true. And now I’m coming to a place where I’m finding that I am different, and my life is different. And there’s something positive about that, more balanced between the good and the bad, rather than all bad. Although it’s the hardest journey I’ve ever taken, I am truly re-imagining my life. Ah! Some of those growing pains hurt!
lisa
what a beautiful blog. Glad you had a great birthday. Stay strong. You deserve to be happy. Patrick was a wonderful man. Miss him so much. I have been watching the season of the beast. I am truely amazed at those episodes. What a strong strong man he was. Your relationship together was amazing. I want to wish you a happy anniversary next week. Much love from Indiana lisa.
Happy Birthday! I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being such an inspiration to me. My fiance was diagnosed in April, with stage IV pancreatic cancer/liver cancer. We are sitting in the infusion center, as I write to you. I find myself reading about the love and devotion that you & your husband shared. It encourages me to enjoy each and every day that we have. Again, thank you so much for sharing your stories and being such an inspiration to me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY & GOD BLESS!! <3
Hi, Lisa,
So beautifully written as usual and a belated Happy Birthday to you! I am so elated that you have been able to find love once again. I wish you all of the happiness in the world!! I just wanted to keep you updated as to my medical prognosis of Stage 3C Ovarian Cancer. I have been doing great since my surgery last August, but the Oncologist/surgeon told me nine months to a year without treatment. I told you I opted for no treatment. I had my CT done last Friday and it is now showing two new lesions on my liver and two in my spleen. I meet with my doctor on the 19th to see what’s going on. I just have a feeling that this may be the beginning. I am still very much at peace with my prognosis – and I know God and Jack will be welcoming me with open arms. This is what gives me strength to keep going on. Please stay happy and cherish each second of life. Much love, Barbara
It’s got to be such a challenge. Good to hear from you. Sending you my very best wishes, Barbara!
Hi Barbara,
It’s great knowing about you and i have to say you’re a brave and stronger woman, because your decision is a sign of strength and strong will . I support you and i send my blessings right now for you. I hope you do not pass bad and God be with you
Keep it up!. We waited for you and good news from you here.
All my love, my best wishes from Spain and much encouragement.
Maite Sánchez
Dear Lisa, It is wonderful to hear that you have met someone. I ‘lost’ my husband to alcohol and infidelity when I was 31 after 10 years of marriage. ( He remarried and has since passed away from throat cancer ) We had 3 children together and it took me 14 years to get to a place where I could open my heart to another man. ( He is the one who stood in the rain distracting motorists from my plight in the bushes ) We have been together for 20 years and married for 18 years. He is an ex-serviceman with indifferent health and, I know that one day he will be gone so, in the mean time, I treasure every second and am very grateful that I took the risk….it is really worth it. Very best wishes.
wow lisa I was just looking at the time you was on here.wished I would have been up.maybe we could have said a hello how you been.and good bye.love ya sweet lady.GOD never promised a easy life,but he did promise to always be with us and get us threw our good and bad times.and I know you still hurt over Patrick.but hes always there with you.i bet at times you even hear him talking to you
I sure do. And at times I feel him near me. It’s a good feeling.
Hi Lisa,
First of all, I wish you a very happy new figure on your birthday. I saw the pics and i have to say the chocolat cake was with a great look so late Happy Birthday Lisa!!. And I have to congratulate you on all your strength, because getting this far has not been easy for you, not for anyone who suffers a loss of such magnitude.
You have shown us all that there is love after love, I feel really very happy for you . Lisa you deserve a totally new life full of love and hapiness for your partner, family and friends.
It’s a great joy to have another year in your life mainly because this time is so different, you’re more stronger, with power and optimism , wishes of life and love. This is life and we must make the most because it’s too short .
Now you’re on the right track. Keep it up.
All my best wishes, my love and my blessins to you Lisa. Take care so much.
Maite Sánchez
Hi Lisa- Wow! Another powerful heartfelt blog from you. I remember an interview you gave shortly after Patrick’s death; you said you didn’t want to be one of those women who never had another relationship – but you didn’t want to fall in love again. I am so happy this has all changed for you. It sounds like your new man is a perfect fit for you. How wonderful to have someone to share your life with again. And I remember Patrick’s interview with Barbara Walters when he said “She’ll be alright” – and he meant you. Did he know you or what? I read your earlier blogs and also see how far you’ve come – and what a difficult journey it has been for you. But I think because of this difficult journey, you will now experience true joy and happiness. Enjoy – you worked hard for it.
Ingrid Mennella
Thanks, Ingrid!
Hi lisa
love your blog. Glad to hear you are stronger. Patrick will always be with you. He is your angel. Thank you for being in all of our lives. We love and care about you. Patrick will never be forgotten.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU. Thank you so much for your blog. Couldn’t have found a better title, STRONGER.
How amazing our lives have become. It’s so nice to know that should I chose to have a special friend, it’s not impossible. That I can chose to be with or be alone or be what ever I want. But, to have someone who understands that and allows you, gives you strength and support it’s amazing.
How important it is to look back and not have to stay there or change our selves to fit the time but see where we came from, where we’ve been and where we’re headed. If there’ s a word stronger than strong, we are it. We deserve it and we owe it to our selves to be it.
I think we are all vulnerable always have been, but with our significant others to have our backs, we keep it hid, even our defects of character. That’s what made our couples so great what he didn’t have you did and visa versa. Now, we have to face it alone and do our best to be the best we can, not for them but for ourselves and then them.
BUT WHAT HAS GIVEN US THAT STRENGTH IS THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE WE HAVE SEEN THROUGH THE PEOPLE WE HAVE MET ON THIS SIGHT, SHARING OUR EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL SUPPORT FOR ONE ANOTHER. I DON’T THINK ANY THING WE SAY SHOULD BE CONSIDERED CORNY. BUT…………….THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVCE AND ACCEPTANCE I HAVE RECEIVE FROM MY FRIENDS, KNOWN AND UNKNOWN, HAVE BEEN THE VERY BEST MEDICINE I COULD HAVE RECEIVED.
Hi Lisa,
I have been reading your blogs for a while now and I am always amazed how you allow as as readers such an honest insight in your thoughts and soul. It inspires me to do the same with people close to me.
Yesterday a friend and my best friends’s mom both heard they’ve got cancer and they both will not be expected to live more than a year. It’s hard to take in and I found it particularly hard to see my best friend in such grief. I couldn’t sleep and I started reading some of your blogs and parts of the book again and it gave me very valuable insights. I cannot take away their pain and grief, but I learned so much on giving full support and love by reading through your book and blogs that I feel more able to be there for them in any way I can.
Thanks so much. You are an inspiration not only for women and men who lost their loved once, but also for the once that support them.
Linda
The Netherlands
PS. I am so happy for you that you did see light at the end of the tunnel and that you found the route to the well of love again.
I am so glad that I can be of help in any way! Thank you.
Lisa: I am so proud of you. Being lonely can put you in a black hole. I know. I am there. I think you are an incredible woman. You deserve nothing but the best. Lisa Niemi Swayze is moving on !!! Best news I have had in a long time. Be happy. Hope my birthday message made it into your guest book. <3
This is a beautiful picture and post, Lisa. Thank you for keeping it real and sharing your story with us. My husband has Stage IV cancer and many things you’ve expressed have made a difference for me. Especially to let each day that we have together be filled with as much love as possible. May your upcoming year be filled with love and laughter.
Wishing you and your loved one the best, Renee!
Lisa,
First I read the book that you and Patrick wrote and it was beautiful.
I hope it doesn’t offend anyone as I’am not a widow but I have lost my Dad four weeks ago. He battled lung cancer for 8 years and we all thought he was winning the fight as he overcame many set backs over the 8 years. Then one day he started having some complications and even the Doctors thought okay let’s do this and that and overcome it as we always have. My Dad had a procedure completed and then 2 days after the procedure the Dr announced that my Dad had 2 days to 2 weeks to live. You can imagine our shock!!
It is such a heart wrenching experience and I told my mother how sorry I’am that she has lost her husband, yes he was my Dad but he was her husband of almost 52 years it would have been this July.
I have felt so many emotions so far from angry, sad to feeling guilty that I have had some good days. I still feel that I’am in disbelief of it all.
I have just started to actually care about fixing my hair and putting make-up on again as I didn’t care how I looked as I felt so bad.
My mother said to be after I told her how guilty I felt after I returned to work after being out for 2 weeks about actually having a good day at work. My Mother had said that I should never feel guilty as my Dad would want me to be happy and not to be sad or not to live my life.
I know Patrick and all our loved ones who has passed away would feel the same way. I’am very happy for you in finding love again
Thank-you for sharing all that you have and for being an inspiration.
So sorry for the loss of your dad, and my heart goes out to your mom. And don’t apologize, you follow the same journey that all of us do when we lose someone we love. Hang in there.
ps. I looked pretty terrible, too, for a long while. A new friend told me later that she could tell I was a pretty woman, but one that had been hit by a truck! Boy, was that the truth, or what?
Barbara, God bless you and keep the faith. You are so courageous and such a wonderful example for me. I feel that God is watching over you and will continue to give you comfort and peace. Thank you my friend God bless you and your writings and faith have given me such strength, courage, and growth. Thank you for all you’ve shared with me.
Lisa, I wrote twice last night and don’t know what happened to them. I sent back the confirmation back , I hope you or someone didn’t get offended. I’m sorry if you did. This has been the best medicine/therapy, I have found. I am amazed that just by sharing, getting out of myself, and realizing that I’m not the only one has some how saved my life or helped me find peace. that also, faith is faith. We might not believe in the same things. but giving unconditionally and receiving without expectation is the greatest virtue, blessing I have received.
It seems the world has gotten caught up in as Joyce Meyer’s says the “What about me? and the answer is to get out of yourself and give hope to someone else and of course there’s not a cure but there is HOPE. Again thank you and God Bless You and keep you safe.
And D. Lee thank you for the address of widownet.org never knew there were other sites. Thank you so much.
Sorry, Joan. For unknown reasons, this website was unaccessible for the last two days! Just able to get on now. Technology, bah humbug!
Well, Lisa, If it’s strength we need it will be, reasons/ways to find it. The old saying “pray for patience, and you get many opportunities to practice them. ” If you think you have strength, there is always opportunities to become strong. But there’s times when I must turn into the Incredible Hulk to be able to do what is right instead of saying or doing what I feel like doing. Just when you think you’ve got it made, the rules change and your left befuddled.
To make a long story short, I just spent a week of hell with my (?) family. My support group I loved and could always count on. Maybe I’ve out grown them or the body snatchers came along and zapped them. But I sure don’t and won’t go through another week like that. But there again, I put my faith in the hands of people and not my Higher Power. Or maybe, I’ve out grown them. Whatever, guess I’ll just have to pick myself up, brush myself off ands start all over again and pray for them. there will come a day when they will see just what I’ve been through and pay the piper for their back biting they do. Brother and sister in law. They were not only disrespectful to me but one another as well. Just a little set back and my egos gotten in the way.
I found those posts, lol I EITHER NEED TO PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH OR PREACH WHAT I PRACTICE. GOD BLESS YOU AND BE A BLESSING
We learn (or sometimes re-learn) something new every day!
Another birthday, another milestone, so glad your positives are slowly overtaking your negatives…
Bless you and your friend for being brave enough to find each other and to venture into something that I hope turns into something wonderful. We all know though that dear Patrick is always with you and always be supporting you in all that you decide to do… There is also no doubt as to how much you still love, miss and adore him and I know it’s ‘cliche’ but life goes on.
Much love always dear friend,
Joanna xxx
So true. In all regards.
Hi Lisa
I have been so inspired by your writing over the past couple of months that I am addicted to your website. I read all your blogs from start to finish yesterday and found myself in tears on many of your sad moments.
My husband thinks I am crazy for constantly wanting to watch Patrick swayze movies (mainly One last dance and of coursr Dirty Dancing), but for some reason I am intrigued by you both on how you were so normal and not so Hollywood! I am 31 year old Aussie, married with two boys and have really woken up to myself and realise how precious life is the past couple of years.
I read both your books and could not put them down.
Lisa you are such a brave, courageous, down to earth and absolutely beautiful lady that deserves to be happy. From what I have read it sounds like Patrick has been with you and is waiting one day, for you both to be with each other again.
Take Care
Jo
Yes, I feel like he’s always with me. And even though I’ve missed him terribly, I feel like I’m such a lucky girl. He’s still a part of my life.
Hi lisa
Just got done watching one last dance. What a wonderful movie. At the end when you and patrick are dancing and you told him he was beautiful and that you loved him melted my heart. I am so happy that you are stronger. You have been through so much. It is so hard not to see you and patrick together. I wish you all the luck in the world. You are truly a wonderful person. Will never stop being a fan of yours and patricks.
Hello Lisa,
Already 15 days have passed since your birthday!
We hope that this day was pleasant to you, and it is our pleasure to show you through this package made for the occasion and this plant you particularly like! Have you received all gifts sent to this address:
WKT Public Relations
9350 Wilshire Blvd, Suite 450
Beverly Hills 90212
We did deliver the package on May 26, I hope that you recieved well, if this is not the case I hope it will be to soon. Hoping to hear from you, we wish you the best. Friendship. Team Swayzangel.
Thank you!! I was wondering how I could thank everyone for the lovely blue Hydrangeas and package and all! What a nice surprise, and so thoughtful. And beautiful, too. Again, I appreciated the thought.
Hi Lisa,
I have sent a comment for the blog but it was awaiting moderation from the june 6th till today. I want to know if you have reading it , because it was my birthday’s gift for you and it was very important for me. Each day i saw the blog and it was awaiting once again.
I just read you have had computer’s problems and therefore you did not reach the comments. It has been a pity!!.
I’ll have your next blog to send you my thoughts, feelings and of course my friendship my dear friend.
All my love for you.
Maite Sánchez
I think I got it. I’ll check again! Thanks, L
PANI LISO JEST PANI WSPANIAŁĄ OSOBĄ.MIŁOŚĆ PANI DO PATRICKA JEST PIĘKNA.ALE I CIERPIENIE OGROMNE.WIEM NIE JEST PRAWDĄ ŻE CZAS LECZY RANY.JA JESTEM POLKĄ TO TAKIE POLSKIE POWIEDZENIE.PIĘKNE JEST TO ŻE LUDZIE POTRAFIĄ DZIELIĆ SIĘ SWOIM SZCZĘŚCIEM I NIESZCZĘŚCIEM TEŻ.JEDNAK TEN ŚWIAT NIE JEST TAKI ZŁY. CZYTA NA BIEŻĄCO PANI KORESPONDENCJE. JEST TO PIĘKNE.POZDRAWIAM PANIĄ SERDECZNIE I ŻYCZĘ JESZCZE WIELE SZCZĘŚCIA W ŻYCIU.JESTEM POLKĄ KUZYNKĄ PATRICKA Z RODZINY SZWEJKOWSKICH Z GNOJNA.ŻAL TYLKO ŻE NIGDY GO NIE POZNAŁAM.CZYTAŁAM TEŻ W POLSKIEJ GAZECIE ŻE POSZUKUJE RODZINY.NIE MIAŁAM ODWAGI SIĘ ODEZWAĆ.W TYM CZASIE BYŁAM BIEDNA JAK MYSZ KOŚCIELNA.MOICH 4 DZIECI STUDIOWAŁO.A JA MOGŁAM LICZYĆ TYLKO NA SIEBIE BO MÓJ MĄŻ MIAŁ JUŻ NOWĄ RODZINĘ I NOWE DZIECI.POZDRAWIAM PANIĄ SERDECZNIE I ŻYCZĘ JESZCZE WIELE DOBREGO W ŻYCIU ALICJA.
We are very grateful that you got taken the time to respond to our message and very happy that you have enjoyed our gifts! We took a great pleasure to get together and organize this project for your birthday! How do we thank? We do not know, we just hope that this gesture you have succeeded in full heart! Have you taken the time to browse our guestbook? If this is the case, you realize you have a project that we would like to heart for years, a project that we carry arm with pride and love! We find it unfair if some associations not exists in France to help the search! This is so unfair, yet so many people still struggle today against cancer! We know your schedule is busy, but we want to know if you could take a little time to consider this project tell us what you think and whether you’d ok to support us and why not give your consent to we can use the image of Patrick in order to support his wish to help research? This permettrais us to move forward and to make sales of objects, rallies … to reap money to help medicine! Take time to think, in some cases we do not want you aisser think this is all a bad intention, on the contrary, it is for the sole purpose of paying tribute to Patrick, for your courage and the sick. A very soon. Team swayzangel! Aurelie and Grace.
Hi Lisa
I’m new to your blog having decided to take a peak after reading “The Time of my Life” and watching Dirty Dancing (for the millionth time) about a week ago.
I came across this quote the other day while perusing through old emails and you immediately popped into my head.
You’ve more than likely heard it before but I want to share it anyway.
“There are two types of pain. Pain that hurts you and pain that changes you”
I’m not sure whose words these are but they ring true.
Even though I’ve never experienced the pain of losing a partner and have absolutely no idea how I would cope if it happened I like to believe that I would be strong enough to allow the pain to change my life for the better.
Keep on keeping on.
Love and Light
Tracy
Lisa,
I wanted to say thank you and keep you as a beautiful blog with great stories, maybe we will have the chance to see some photos of your birthday gifts here! A very soon!
Hello Lisa!
We are very grateful that you got taken the time to respond to our message and very happy that you have enjoyed our gifts! We took a great pleasure to get together and organize this project for your birthday! How do we thank? We do not know, we just hope that this gesture you have succeeded in full heart! Have you taken the time to browse our guestbook? If this is the case, you realize we have a project that we would like to heart for years, a project that we carry arm with pride and love! We find it unfair if some associations not exists in France to help the search! This is so unfair, yet so many people still struggle today against cancer! We know your schedule is busy, but we want to know if you could take a little time to consider this project tell us what you think and whether you are ok to support us and why not give your consent to we can use the image of Patrick in order to support his wish to help research? This permettrais us to move forward and to make sales of objects, rallies … to reap money to help medicine! Take time to think, in some cases we do not want you aisser think this is all a bad intention, on the contrary, it is for the sole purpose of paying tribute to Patrick, to your courage and the sick. A very soon. Team swayzangel! Aurelie and Grace.
hi lisa
i just wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts today on this special day. Happy anniversary to you and patrick.
Thank you. Anniversaries can still be tricky. And this one was no exception! Best, L
Hey Lisa, so glad to hear you’re feelin Stronger. Hope you’re ” standing a little taller” too. Awesome video isn’t it? I love it! really makes one stop and reflect…we can all take a lesson from these kids. They really know what it means to LIVE! I especially love the kid that mouth the words: what does’nt kill you makes you stronger. Such fierceness in the meaning, love the kid holding the hope sign, so precious!
Anyway keep movin forward, you so deserve to enjoy life, it is much too short n very precious the time we have here on earth. Please know you have our (your fan’s) blessing, not that you need it. I’m also certain that Patrick would want you to move on and be happy and why would’nt he be? he loved you with all his heart. Love yourchoice of pics for this blog thanks for sharing with us. Hope you never get too busy to blog with us. We care about you and want you to be happy. You help us to keep Patrick’s spirit alive. He was a talented artist and a wondrrful
person. wishing many more beautiful days. sending rainbows you way as always. much love.
Nadine XOX
Dear Lisa,
I know I´m a little late for your birthday, but I hope you had a nice day. I´m always looking forward to your new blog and this one is just …. Wow.
First of all, what a beautiful picture of you and I´m so happy for you that you found someone who brings happiness and sunshine back to your life. And if he doesnt, well let me put is this way, it´s only a flight of 11 hours from Germany and we handle the problem. Only joking!!!
God knows you deserve it more than anyone else to be happy again.Probably in a different way, but the most important thing is, that the dark days are gone or not as dark anymore as they used to be.
You sound so full of power and energy.
I can imagine that this must be a very exciting and maybe a little scary time for you right now. You always said that Patrick was a real warrior but so are you, because if I compare this blog with the early ones, it shows, you´ve come a long way and you fought very hard to be where you are right now.
I bet any money that Patrick is looking down on you with a fat grin saying: That´s my girl.
And I dont mean to be disrespectful to your new relationship, but for us you´ll always be Patrick´s girl.
But I wish you all the happiness in the world, and when the dark days return, you´re strong enough to give them a good kick in the …. You know what I mean. Now you have someone special by your side again and Patrick is watching over you anyway.
Take care Lisa, I´m looking forward to your next blog.
Lot´s of huggs to you and a million kisses to the 3 rockets Kuma, Lucas and Murphy.
All my love
Sabine
Thanks!
Falling in love again after a looong relationship is hard because you won’t feel the same and you think you are going to betray to Patrick. Anyway, enjoy it and think that this man is not your husband. But he could be better than him…..
Funny, and it may be different for others, but to date another man has not felt like betrayal. I guess cause no one, and no thing will ever change how I’ll always feel about Patrick. XX
Lovely Lisa,
After reading your touching words, I swept passed the other comments, so forgive me if I am redundant in my response!
I am moved by the part of you that would comfort the wounded soul of your past self, the one who would have had it all end in an instant, to stop the pain.
And you bravely made your way into a place of great potential, growth and happiness.
Finding ourselves vulnerable means we have allowed our shell to diminish if not disappear.
It is a brave man who can say he will never let you down. No one can disappoint you Lisa.
We can only become disappointed through unrealistic expectations or the inability to forgive what is human in another or in OURSELVES!
I leave you with this, Lisa
Forgive thyself, forgiven
Love thyself, love given
Your way is blessed.
XXX Lilly
Wonderful message, Lilly.
Oh Lisa, according to this blog, sounds like your boyfriend was not the one that hurt you so badly and put you into a funk not to long ago. I was sure afraid he was. Glad you cleared that up for us that were guessing!! Sounds like maybe he is a good guy after all. You deserve to find a really good one!
from Texas w/love….grab the reigns, here you go again.
Back ‘atcha!
Hey Lisa,
Not sure what or how to say how i felt today,i don’t personally know either you or had known patrick,but today i’m not sure why i felt compelled to look you up on the net,strange i know but after doing so and sadly reading about patricks worst fear i honestly couldn’t stop feeling sad and having a bit of a cry,and i don’t cry for anybody,sounds stupid a,i’m a family man,a business man,just a normal guy living his life,strange how things just happen in your life without any reason,well before you think i’m a nutter i’ll leave it there,i’m not sure but for me today’s date means nothing out of the ordinary,anyways live life and enjoy…..xxx
This is a wonderful blog, so bright and full of life ….. <3
Look here, No. 7 is done ….. young and restless
http://www.ebay.com/itm/Patrick-Swayze-dry-brush-painting-of-follow-your-heart-YOUNG-AND-RESTLESS/261239583484?_trksid=p2045573.m2042&_trkparms=aid%3D111000%26algo%3DREC.CURRENT%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D27%26meid%3D8792129541195355640%26pid%3D100033%26prg%3D1011%26rk%3D1%26sd%3D261239583484%26
People will give you all the support you or what they think you need,But what ever you hear,it’s only whats inside you.Your the only one who knows how you feel.You can get all the addvice in the world from others.But what it come down to is everyones differant.I think by watching your career that your a very strong lady.Take care.I hope you will maybe consider me a FB friend.
Thank you, Larry. Everyday I feel like I’m getting better at listening to my own inner voice. Trusting it more.
… the auction has ended. Here you have a better insight of the painting:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=481310631960260&set=a.481310471960276.1073741825.416424698448854&type=3&theater
Stay tuned …. best wishes to you Lisa :-*
Hi Lisa, I know your passion for crystals, I have the same passion.
If you want/can would be interesting a post about them.
My fave at the moment are lapis lazuli amethyst and opal
Hi Lisa,
Maybe you remember me, I posted a longer time ago and send you some gifts from Greece last year. I like what you wrote above and I am glad that you feel so much better.
I am back from my trip through Nevada and California and it was really really hard for me to leave my beloved United States. The greatest experience was the Grand Canyon following by a lot of other wonderful places. I never ever have seen any more spectacular place as Grand Canyon. You live in such a wonderful country with a lot of breathtaking things to see – enjoy it!
We also were on the Walk of Fame and of course I found Patrick’s star, sadness washed over me connected with the thought of you. Had loved to meet you in L.A.
Enjoy your life!
Sounds like a fabulous trip! Even though it was sad, I’m so glad you got to see his star!
Hi Lisa my name is Larry Michael Norris,I just wanted to tell you that Patrick has always been a great influance on my life ever sence he was in the movie the Outsiders,Dirty Dancing,Road house,Point Break.iv’e watched all his movies,read just about everything he’s done in life.I have been told. ever sence Dirty Dancing that I look like Patrick Swayze.it’s been my honore to have been told for years that I look like one of the sexyest men who ever lived.Not to mention a very kind man who never let all the fame he worked so hard for get the best of him.They say. GOD only takes the best,Well when it came to Patrick,
God Took the Best of the Best……I’m so happy for you mam that you found love again, it’s what Patrick would of wanted for you….i’m on FaceBook if you would ever like to talk.Take Care.
Lisa, first let me say how lucky Patrick was to have such a beautiful, loving woman in his life for so many years. You are not letting his death go in vain. 1 woman can make all the difference in the world. Mary Kay Ash of Mary Kay Cosmetics knew that all those yrs ago. I can not imagine all of the pain you are feeling. But, from what I am hearing there is a new man in your life what a lucky man he will be. He can never replace Patrick but, you must go on.
He will be waiting for you god had a plan for him maybe it was to bring awareness to this horrible disease. As my dad told us if you can not remember me without the tears do not remember me at all, for I am going to be in a better place. Sometimes having a good crying jag make you feel better. Hugs to you Lisa keep the feet of the political wheel to the fire that is how things get done.
thanks for writing, Karen! I appreciate what you say.
Hi Lisa,
Hope this note finds you well!
I just wanted to encourage you once again to please continue the fight against (pancreatic) cancer. In the past, I’ve dropped an occasional note to you about the good things you’re doing in the battle and the wonderful steps you’re taking to heal.
That was before I lost a close high school friend to this same dreaded disease. All I can say is that it was incredibly painful! Steven was a fellow surfer who had it all together much better than I did – and he acted as my mentor, even though we were the same age. Anyway, we laid him to rest a few months ago and grieved his loss. The healing has begun for me now, for which I’m grateful. I can now appreciate your writings with a different perspective. All this said, please keep up the fantastic work and God bless you! Lanny
Hi Lisa,
My husband died the same way as Patrick and our relationship and journey through it was very much the same. The only difference is we were a gay couple. But your book and thoughts on grief and loss have been the most comforting thing to me since he passed away a month ago. I feel my Robs love in so many ways and I ride the tidal wave on my grief everyday. But the fact that you found love inspires me. God bless you. Gary
It certainly is practically extremely difficult to find well-educated men or women on this niche, nonetheless you seem like you fully grasp exactly what you’re revealing! Thanks A Lot